August 21, 2008 by
Filed under: Bed-Stuy, Bushwick 

Now that I have your attention I am pleased to pass along a very unique dating opportunity. Are you tired of men who are too damned choosy? You know who I am talking about: the kind of guy who sports a little more in the middle (or a little less on the top) but insists upon dating no “fatties” or “uglies”? Well, I have found a gentleman who has not only dispensed with such shallowness, but he knows exactly what he wants.

His name is “Motorcycle Johnson” and this is his personal ad. It can be found on Broadway under the J & M train. I realized the above type is a little difficult to read, so you can either click on the above image to view larger one or read the following transcription of Mr. Johnson’s dream girl:

6000 motorcycle sextant inversion method on Friday. Cream cheese-sea-time fourteen isn’t elevator elevator sometimes otherwise not fuck. Twelve. Boring. Fixed anyone? Barbary glabber, sevezno aptitude. WHY NOT?!

If this sounds like you please shoot Mr. Johnson an email as soon as possible. As you can see he already has a few takers.

Good luck!

Miss Heather


4 Comments on HEY LADIES!

  1. d on Thu, 21st Aug 2008 8:10 pm
  2. That is friggin’ hilarious!

  3. dearbirthday on Thu, 21st Aug 2008 9:12 pm
  4. this made my day.
    thank you motorcycle johnson
    (and miss heather)

    incidentally, this sounds a lot like the poetry of a friend of my boyfriend’s….hmmm

  5. ben on Fri, 22nd Aug 2008 9:50 am
  6. First time I’ve ever seen physical SPAM before – next is a flier from a Dubai prince needing your bank routing numbers.

  7. missheather on Fri, 22nd Aug 2008 9:58 am
  8. I for one would like to see a flier with this on it:

    Hi honey
    i’d like to write you a candid letter, pleas read it.
    I’m really tired of impotent morons around me now. I still remember the nights we spent together and it becomes clear to me
    that you are the best man i’ve ever met.
    How are you these days? Maybe want to have some fun again? 🙂 I’m coming to town next weekend, spent two weeks
    starring in a video for adult site.
    would be so glad if you take a look at my body )

    This is just one example of the many delights that find its way into my inbox.

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