April 14, 2007 by
Filed under: Dog Shit, Dung of the Day 

I have been crazy busy of late. Not only do I have my Forgotten-NY post to draft, dog shit to document, kitty cats to capture and the endemic insanity that permeates my existence to moderate, but I have also had to do all the previous while entertaining a series of family members who have decided to pay our fine city, the one and only New York Shitty, a visit. Mayor Bloomberg should give me a kickback for all the tourism revenue I have generated. Seriously.

It has long been my desire to erect a shitcam so I can document the gradual deterioration of an errant piece of dog poo. Perhaps this will come to pass someday but in the meantime I have tracked the progress one pile of shit— and its ‘staying power’ is somewhat disquieting.

Exhibit A

69 Second Avenue, Manhattan
March 25, 2007
3:30 p.m.

69 Second Avenue 32507

My sister-in-law was in town from March 22, 2007 to March 26, 2007. When I found the above offering just south of St. Mark’s Place I had to point it out to her. She thought it was as funny as I was. We both bothered my husband to pick up those two pennies up for us. He refused. So I took a picture of them instead. A couple passersby thought this (a 30-something year old broad shooting a photo of a pile of crap while shouting, “Hey Sam, do you want a penny!?!“) was one of the funniest things they had ever seen. Go figure.

Now jump to…

Exhibit B

69 Second Avenue, Manhattan
April 13, 2007
5:30 p.m.

My mother, husband, cousin and I walked by the same spot…

69 Second Avenue 41307

and the poop and (one of) the pennies was still there!

Through rain, sleet or snow, New York Shitty delivers!

To summarize, this discovery has:

  1. given the phrase “tough shit” a whole new meaning. After almost 3 weeks of exposure to the elements it is still there. Perhaps our government should conduct research on this substance? The way I see it, after we manage to blow each other into oblivion (and apes evolve from man), the charred remains of the Statue of Liberty will not be our civilization’s legacy; it will be an petrified pile of dog shit. I can only hope that when the archeologists find this they interpret it as some kind of burial ritual. After the body is laid to rest, a pile of dog shit and two pennies are left to facilitate his (or her) soul’s journey into the bowels of the underworld. Sort of like Anna Nicole Smith.
  2. provided prima facie evidence that under the right conditions currency can be rendered so repulsive (READ: encrustated with SHIT) that not even a junkie or derelict will pick it up.

Miss Heather


One Comment on Doppeldung

  1. Rachel on Sun, 15th Apr 2007 7:17 am
  2. I just showed the picture to Mike and he said he would have picked up the pennies for us. Shit pennies would have been the perfect momento to any trip.

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