Treasure this way ——–> Code Brown

May 4, 2006 by
Filed under: Dog Shit 

Yesterday evening when I left my apartment to check out what is left of the Greenpoint Terminal Market I discovered that our Superintendent’s daughter had been quite busy decorating our sidewalk with chalk drawings. I am not a person who is big on kids, but I have to admit that the mural she created was damned cute. Aside from writing “I (heart) NY” over and over, she wrote more cryptic messages, like the one below.


As I proceeded down the sidewalk towards Franklin, however, this message took on an entirely different meaning: from 143 to 101 Green Street I came across a bounty of ‘sidewalk spuds’. Be advised that this is the short list; I have excluded turds that are already documented (and are still to be found at this location).






I have never caught anyone in the act, but I have a pretty clear idea of who the offenders are. One need not be Sherlock Holmes (or even Inspector Clouseau) to observe that ALL of this dog shit is localized in front and adjacent to lofts where dogs (and their owners) reside. This is not conjecture on my part; I have seen the owners and their dogs hanging out in front of these buildings many, many times.

I know very little about the people who live in these lofts aside from the fact that most (if not all) are hipsters in their 20’s and are clearly from out-of-state. It is probably not unreasonable to surmise that their rent is being subsidized, if not paid for outright, by their parents.

That said, I seriously doubt their parents (and the community organizations they undoubtedly belong to) back in suburban wherever would look kindly on this behavior. Why should it be any different here?

Perhaps these peeps have always had someone to pick up their shit and wipe their bottoms?

Perhaps they are acting out because mommy and daddy do not love them enough to pony up the money needed to live on Bedford Avenue?

Perhaps they were raised by wolves?


I’m chocking this up to LAZINESS and ENTITLEMENT. Wake up and smell the dog shit. It’s time to grow up and assume some shred of responsibility kiddos!


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