April 25, 2007 by
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

On April 12, I received an email from the woman responsible for filming the YouTube video of Mr. Johnson’s tool at work. She wrote:

Thanks for passing that info along. I have to admit that was one of the worst days (noise wise) thus far…I’m not sure if it could get any worse than that! I’ve hardly noticed anything since then…so maybe that’s a good thing!

Inasmuch as I hate to tell this woman “I told you so!” (because she is a very nice person), I’m gonna do it anyway.






As of 9:59 a.m. this morning it went back to work. Decked out in full patriotic fettle, no less. No act— however stupid, distasteful, annoying or morally ambiguous as it may seem— is wrong if it’s backed up by the good ol’ U. S. of Fucking A.!

Just ask our president.

So when my neighbors ask “What that’s awful noise?” I tell them (with tongue firmly planted in cheek) that it is the sound of FREEDOM— and if they don’t like it they should go to Cuba or North Korea with the rest of ‘dem freedom-hating, abortion-loving, baby seal clubbing commie bastards!

Having made my point, I think I will put together a little care package for my neighbor: a six pack of beer, ear plugs and a bottle aspirin. Fuck the aspirin, make that valium!

Miss Heather

UPDATE: For shits and giggles I called my buddy at The Gowanus Lounge on his cell. When his voicemail picked up I held my cell up to my living room window (so he could enjoy the PHAT beats). Here is his (email) reply:

Before you started speaking, I thought you had a Eurohell dance track playing in the background. Boomthwash boomthwash boom thwash. Like you were calling from some club that decided to open in midafternoon. Then I realized what it was. Yipes.

And here’s my reply to his reply:

Until about ½ hour ago I had ~$10.00 to my name. Now I have $1.00. $3.00 was spent on doing laundry, the other $6.00 was spent on a 6 pack of Budweiser…


2 Comments on It’s BAAAACK!

  1. Matthew on Wed, 25th Apr 2007 11:59 am
  2. The return of that delightful machine has finally trumped my laziness and forced me to register so I can join in the bitching. I live several blocks over on India street in a rear apt facing your direction and that beast rings clear as day right on over here, still loud enough to wake me from a death-slumber. I can only imagine how pleasant it must be living across the street from it!

  3. missheather on Wed, 25th Apr 2007 12:03 pm
  4. I don’t know about you, but it is so fucking loud here it ECHOS! I am seriously considering creating a playlist on my i-tunes called “Gentrification Jamz”. The purpose of doing this is to put all the music I have that comes close to drowning that shit out in one convenient place. Music such as:

    1. When the Levee Breaks (hip-hop mix, various artists)
    2. Stigmata (Ministry)
    3. It’s Tricky (Run-DMC)
    4. I Love it Loud (Kiss)
    5. Shout it out Loud (once again, Kiss)

    Nice to make your acquaintance, ‘nabe! Too bad it wasn’t under better circumstances. 🙂

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