What is it with public urination today?!?

May 15, 2007 by
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

This morning I started my day by savoring tales of Park Slope public urination courtesy of The Gowanus Lounge. I found them to be quite amusing. Enough so that I felt compelled to share my very own tale of tinkling in public:

I’ll never forget the time I saw a father direct his kid to piss on the closest tree he could find. This happened to be 31st Street, Astoria. ON A SATURDAY AFTERNOON. What was really creepy was the man held the kid’s dick while he went. FOR FUCK’S SAKE— if the kid can STAND, I think he is more than capable of HOLDING HIS OWN WANG! What is it with these people?!?

After posting this delightful story I gave the subject of public-space-as-pissoir no more thought. Until 6:15 p.m. today when the following comment from Guiliacucina was submitted for my approval on New York Shitty. She writes:

Just thought I’d restore your faith in good old Greenpoint with this little gem: I was walking back to my building on Huron Street today at around 5:30 p.m. when I watched a woman hitch up her dress, pop a squat in the street in front of my place and pee in broad daylight in full view of several passersby. She was dressed like she was on her way to church. Marking her territory, perhaps? My phone had died or I would have sent photographic evidence…

This reminded me of (yet) another act of public urination I witnessed right here in Greenpoint. It was a sight so special it shouldn’t languish on a comment board. Here it is:

NICE. I too have seen an old Polish broad lift up her skirt and let ‘er rip. It was about 5 years ago on Manhattan Avenue. Right by a bus stop, no less.

Today the realization finally hit me: of all the times I have seen someone piss publicly in Greenpoint, the perpetrator has always been an adult, never a child. Then a knot formed in my stomach.

It’s still there.

Miss Heather


3 Comments on What is it with public urination today?!?

  1. giuliacucina on Tue, 15th May 2007 4:51 pm
  2. Father’s wang-holding = muy creepy.

    My public tinkler was an older Polish lady as well, as evidenced by her post-urination screaming at someone at the top of her lungs in Polish. Perhaps for invading her privacy and making eye contact while she was in mid-act? The puddle still lingers outside.

  3. Matthew on Tue, 15th May 2007 11:42 pm
  4. An unrelated but noteworthy sight worth sharing…

    Yesterday while waiting for the G at the Greenpoint Ave station on the Smith/9 side I was just taking in the sights as usual when I spied a rather unusual and disturbing (yet also a bit amazing) scene. There on the tracks was the corpse of a dead rat, which, on its own is not necessarily worth mention, but this was certainly a first for me, for the rat had been severed in 2 by the trains wheels, one bloodied half on each side of the track. Quite a pleasantry to start the day off with. Of course, this being Greenpoint, and the MTA being, well, the MTA, I am sure the sight will remain for all to see until it turns into some other kind of sight (and smell) to brighten up those ever so quick waits for the G!

    PS — After that post-blogfest tirade and response, in which I claimed to be past my blogging days, I decided that I am a liar, and am also in need of something to force me to write, so you’ve gone and done it, you got another Greenpoint based blog! Together we will bring down the South Brooklyn Blogging empire, or something of the sorts. Of course, I hope you understand that I’m going to hold you partially to blame once it takes over the little bit of productivity I have left in me. I’ll send a link your way once I get it prettied up enough for the public!

    PPS — Now that blogfest has exposed your face, you are totally at risk of being called out by me or my gf if we see you in the ‘hood (though rest assured, it would only be with hellos, and we’re probably both to chickenshit to actually do so!)

  5. lehcar on Wed, 16th May 2007 6:40 am
  6. One of my favorite Greenpoint stories is a public urination story. I was making the move from the east of McGuiness Blvd. Greenpoint to the north of Greenpoint Ave. Greenpoint and had just come from looking at an apt. on India that I ended up taking. On the corner of Manhattan and Greenpoint was the usual crew of drunken crazies engaging in some serious mid-afternoon partying. I was awoken out of a daze to the sound of gushing water; the lone lady of the crew was squatting over the pay phone and just letting loose, while yelling, “whaaaat arrre you lookin at??” It was an impressive amount of liquid, and in retrospect, reminds me of a horse peeing.

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