Dirty Deeds Insured Dirt Cheap

November 13, 2007 by
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Last week I had the pleasure of seeing an acquaintance of mine. Newbie Greenpointer, good reporter and all around nice chap, Matt. We talked about local happenings. The recent murder was our primary topic. Some time during our discussion I told him about the “Venus Matrimonial Agency” that used to be on Greenpoint Avenue. A law office has since taken its place.

International Consulting Firm

They’ll help you with the green card lottery.

Green Card Lottery

In fact, they’ll help you with a lot of things. For a fee.

Prepaid Legal Plan

Ironically enough, the list only goes up to 53 points (insert crass Polish joke here— it’s okay, seriously, I am of some Polish derivation). I suppose the other 48 points pertain to the number of ccs the above chick had injected into her boobs and lips. Lets see what the remaining 53 points are, shall we?

Litigation list

Um, let’s see:

#23: My knee-jerk reaction is there is no one worthy of being blackmailed here, but reality says otherwise. Greenpoint is a David Lynchian world. Don’t go to Franklin.

#29: Is not jury duty required of American citizens? I heeded the call and got rejected. Mr. Heather admitted knowing Ron Kuby and was in like Flynn. So it goes, as Kurt Vonnegut would say.

#30: No one golfs in Greenpoint.

#36: If you’re hit by a bottle at a baseball game it’s your own damned fault. You clearly rooted for the wrong team.

#40: I’ve seen roosters, chickens and a goat. The only creatures I have heard of that wreck peoples’ gardens hereabouts are bipeds in four wheelers, e.g.; developers.

Miss Heather


4 Comments on Dirty Deeds Insured Dirt Cheap

  1. vintagejames on Tue, 13th Nov 2007 12:56 pm
  2. The web site on their sign http://www.exim-ics.com explains it about as well as it can be done. Check it out.

  3. missheather on Tue, 13th Nov 2007 1:04 pm
  4. You crack me up James.

  5. zoya on Tue, 13th Nov 2007 7:58 pm
  6. I could not get top the site. Did it get too much traffic all of a sudden? A Google search returned something in Bulgarian.

  7. missheather on Tue, 13th Nov 2007 8:14 pm
  8. That’s the joke James was making: there is no web site.

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