Hooray For Global Warming!

January 8, 2008 by
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

Some of you might have noticed that yesterday’s offerings on New York Shitty were few. There are several reasons for this:

  1. January 7 is my birthday and sitting in front of a computer is not my idea of a good time.
  2. It was damned near sixty fucking degrees outside.
  3. When the weather is unseasonably warm, New York’s more colorful citizens come out to play and I like to join them in the revelry.

Man on Third Avenue

I saw this guy when I made an emergency trip to Ricky’s in the East Village. While a little difficult to see in this photograph, he even sports white mascara. It’s the above attention to detail that impresses yours truly, even though I could do without the swastika. Anyhoo…

In order to get to Manhattan I had to ride the Crosstown Local.

The Tyson of Liberty

Behold, the Tyson of Liberty! The riders might have given the G a failing grade for service, but I give the riders an A+ for artistic prowess.


Here’s a nice close-up of Jesus presiding over the destruction of Manhattan. Speaking of Jesus, here is an annotated poster from the Metropolitan platform.

Fitzgerald is born!

I don’t remember how the original poster read— what’s more I don’t care. I’d rather be edified by the epistles of crack during my wait for the Crosstown Local. It just makes sense.

For a more social life

It would appear those wacky Williamsburgers agree. They just can’t get enough of the stuff! But enough with the drug humor, let’s get back to Greenpoint.


A patron on the Queens-bound platform has a more scatological take on this (ubiquitous) Cloverfield poster. Upon closer examination I discovered there’s a little something for everybody.


An ejaculating penis.

Boobies and Flatulence

A pair of gravity-defying breasts and an explosive fit of flatulence. The latter piece of imagery (rendered in Colonoscope) of reminds me of something I read on The Poop Report recently. It was penned by one “Farmer Brown”:

…I stood up, cursing a flowing string of swear words like a preacher caught in a whorehouse, and delivered one final foghorn fart that made me want to puke my guts up like a jock after a Colt 45 binge.

In closing, I might be one year older but I haven’t really grown up. Miss Heather still loves her some good scat chat. For those of you who don’t, I apologize for offending your more effete sensibilities.

The Santalope

And don’t forget: the Santalope loves you!

Miss Heather


4 Comments on Hooray For Global Warming!

  1. rowan on Tue, 8th Jan 2008 11:34 am
  2. this is why i love G-train stations.

  3. rexlic on Tue, 8th Jan 2008 1:12 pm
  4. Happy Freakin’ Birthday, Miss H!!!

    Here’s a few people you share it with:



    I mean, c’mon: Millard Fillmore…Alfred the butler from TV’s “Batman”…Terry Moore, Howard Hughes’ ex-, and star of “Mighty Joe Young”…Alvin Dark, captain of the ’51 new York Giants of “shot heard ’round the world” fame…Screech!!

    Makes me glad that now I can claim I didn’t work yesterday, not out of laziness, but in your honor!

  5. yakitori on Tue, 8th Jan 2008 2:59 pm
  6. happy birthday!

  7. missheather on Tue, 8th Jan 2008 3:03 pm
  8. Thanks for the kind words. When you share a birthday with such luminaries as Katie Couric (BARFFFF), Millard Fillmore (arguably one of the worst presidents to grace the White House, tho G.W.B. II might give him a run for his money) and Nick Cage (shudder) it means a lot.

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