i-FORCE

January 22, 2008 by missheather
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic

One thing I have noticed about Greenpointers (and Polish men in particular) over the years is they love large automobiles. Whereas public transportation or a Honda Civic would pass muster with an average person, these chaps demand Humvees, pick-up trucks or S.U.V.s. The bigger, the better. Last weekend I came upon one such vehicle on Nassau Avenue. Amused by the sheer size of this gas guzzler, I went in for a closer look.

Nothing declares “Ask me about my castration anxiety” like bright red paint job and a placard emblazoned with the phrase “i-Force”. I cannot believe professionals are paid to come up with this stuff. Seriously. Give me five minutes and a copy of Penthouse Forum and I’ll come up with a dozen pieces of ad copy better than this.

No wonder this gent is worried about his balls: they’re tiny! Those fellas sure look awfully cold. He should knit them a nice little cozy to keep them warm.

Miss Heather

P.S.: Testicular trucks should hardly be surprising coming from the neighborhood which invented “Snoodling”.