Ninth Ring of Hell on Franklin Street

February 15, 2008 by
Filed under: Articles of Fedderization, Greenpoint Magic 

If there is indeed a City of Dis, I am certain Karl Fischer “architect” designed it.

Case in point:

198 Franklin Street

This is 198 Franklin Street.

198 Franklin Street Shitty

This is 198 Franklin on Karl Fischer. (My hell.)

Any questions?

Karl Fischer:

That’s what makes parts of Brooklyn so special. You have all of these rowhouses, townhouses, smaller-scale developments, more neighborhood-friendly developments. You have more open space. The quality of life in this way is going to be preserved in Brooklyn.

Which “parts of Brooklyn” are “so special”, Karl? Clearly Greenpoint and Williamsburg are not among of them. Unless filling your wallet at our aesthetic expense makes us special— in which case Greenpoint and Williamsburg are:




If you (or the little wizards under your employ) did any research or “Googled” 198 Franklin Street Karl, you’d know India Street runs eastward— not westward as your rendering depicts. Here’s a primer.

Gawkers on Franklin

The above automobile is using India Street incorrectly.

Petrol on India

The man driving this heating oil truck has the right idea. I’m certain the upscale tenants of 198 Franklin will love the hum of trucks and savor the scenic views of photographic/pornographic indiscretions next door.

Vigil at 202 Franklin Street

From the balconies you designed Karl, the “NEW Greenpoint affluent influx” can sip drinks and watch their neighbors demonstrate and conduct sleep-ins next door. What a deal!

I assure you, Mr. Fischer, it is a minor inconvenience. These displaced people renters only demonstrate quarterly.

Miss Heather

P.S.: The trees and upwardly mobile honkies are a hoot, by the way. Last time I walked by 198 Franklin I watched a bum sniff a gently-used bottle of Smirnoff Ice. It was not up to snuff. At ten in the morning, anyway. I’m certain your condo will make this location (and the local potions) more enticing.


2 Comments on Ninth Ring of Hell on Franklin Street

  1. rexlic on Fri, 15th Feb 2008 9:09 am
  2. Dear Miss H.: Why are your panties in such a bunch over Mr. Fischer’s rendering?

    The cars simply look cuter facing the way he has them.

    I’m sure once the DOT sees just how simply divine this looks, they’ll have no problem changing the direction of all streets between Greenpoint Avenue and Newtown Creek to accomodate this.

    Really, why you got to be hatin’ on my man Karl?

  3. ntodd on Sun, 17th Feb 2008 12:32 pm
  4. Miss Heather,

    Can Carl Fischer build such a monstrosity there?

    After reviewing the zoning maps:

    It shows that street corner to be a m1-2 / R6A then based on that I checked the zoning definitions for R6A –

    It states the buildings height can not exceed 70ft. or roughly 7 stories. He is clearly picturing something in the 10 story range.

    What does DOB have to say about this??


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