How Not To Have First Date In Greenpoint

June 14, 2008 by
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

1. You take your date out to dinner.

2. Over dinner you ask her how old she is.*

3. She refuses to tell you.

4. After dinner you take your date to the waterfront on Java Street. The view of the Manhattan skyline to be had there has inspired many a Greenpoint romance. That is, unless…

5. the police show up, tell you that you’re trespassing and demand identification.

6. You tender identification: a driver’s license from Alabama. Cop is non-plussed and interrogates you as to where you live.

7. Your date has no identification whatsoever, so she is given a thorough dressing down (e.g.; I could arrest you…) and is forced to state how old she is: 34.

8. You laugh.

9. Cop gets angry and asks “What are you laughing at?” You reply “Over dinner she refused to tell me how old she was.” Cop is not amused.

10. You are let go, but your evening is shot to shit.

This happened to a friend of mine Tuesday night. He’s a real sweetheart and the purpose of this post is not to bust his chops. (Well, maybe a little, but lovingly.) Rather I want to make you, dear readers, aware that the 94th Precinct (for wont of anything better to do) seems to be very keen on harassing people for “trespassing” on the waterfront. So be careful:

  1. Always, ALWAYS have identification on you. Preferably something that verifies you are a New York City resident. As my experience (with, in all probability, the SAME police officer) last December has shown, the N.Y.P.D. loves to grill you about where you live. Is this legal? I don’t know. But by proving that you MIGHT actually have some reason for walking around your own neighborhood gives them one less thing to hassle you about.
  2. If you feel like you have been unfairly treated by a police officer ask for their badge number. They are required by law to give it to you. Period.
  3. Take said badge number and file a complaint with Civilian Complaint Review Board
  4. and/or go to the monthly community meetings hosted by your local precinct. The 94th Precinct community meetings are held at 7:30 p.m. the third Monday of the month at 807 Manhattan Avenue (AKA the Greenpoint Savings Bank). Be sure to use the entrance on Calyer Street.

Bad dates are— for better or worse— a fact of life. Improper police conduct shouldn’t be. Their job as civil servants is to “protect and serve” the public. This includes you.

Miss Heather

*Big, BIG no-no.


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