Greenpoint
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Studio Apartment on Myrtle Avenue
Filed under: Bushwick
Am I the only person who feels this way, or does the glut of “luxury” apartments on the market leave other people with a bad taste in their mouth? Time and time again I find myself asking:
How much “luxury” can New York City possibly stomach? What about the rest of us who wish to have something a little more interesting and a lot less prefab? Something with a little character— but convenient to public transportation, of course.
If you too have found yourself having the above thoughts, dear readers, I bring some very good news.
I found this beauty on Myrtle Avenue just off the Wyckoff Avenue stop of the M train— and by “just off” I mean in the shadow of the elevated tracks. Not only is it conveniently located to public transportation but it also appears to be ready for move-in! I cannot for the life of me understand why this beauty has not been snapped up. Perhaps it is due to lack of advertising?
Now anyone will tell you I am a “take action” kind of person. The people must know about this fabulous property! To this end I researched apartment advertisements on Craigslist to get a little inspiration. The search terms I used were as follows: “Bushwick”, “Myrtle” and “studio”. I was astonished by what I found.
East Williamsburg just keeps getting bigger and bigger nowadays. You know, I sense a Craiglist ad mash-up coming on…
Now THIS is what I call “AMAZING AVRY THING!”
Miss Heather
Great Moments in Real Estate Advertising, Bushwick Edition
Filed under: Bushwick
I found the following advertisements within five minutes walking distance of each other in Bushwick. They are so tremendously entertaining I simply have to share them. Here they are.
Exhibit A: Wilson Avenue and Starr Street
I cannot for the life of me grasp the advertising world’s fascination with cave men. If I found myself in the unfortunate position of having to divest of an “ugly house” as they put it, I would prefer to conduct business with someone who walks upright.
Exhibit B: Wilson Avenue and Willoughby Street
I just about pissed my pants laughing at this one. Note that like its predecessor the use of the pointed finger is employed but this time it is (thankfully) brandished by a homo sapiens in a suit. The juxtaposition of the McMansion in the advertisement against the standard four story tenement (clad in aluminum siding, no less) it is shilling tickles yours truly’s funny bone to no end. Just in case the point was lost on any potential customers they were even thoughtful enough to add a second sign reading “For Sale”. Perhaps this guy and the cave man should sit down and talk business?
Miss Heather
Greenpoint Photo du Jour: Lorimer Street
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
It would appear that McCarren Park has been graced with a new piece of signage. The handy visual aide really helps to drive the point home. He even has a beer gut!
Miss Heather
In Praise Of Booty
Yesterday (for reasons unknown even to myself) I elected to walk from my apartment in Greenpoint to the Halsey Street stop of the L train. I did— and despite being a decrepit 30-something I feel no worse for wear. In fact, I enjoyed it thoroughly. During my wanderings I walked by a store called Denim Girl. Once I laid eyes upon this tee shirt in the window I knew I must possess it.
Here’s the front.
And here’s the back.
I asked Mr. Heather to model this item but he refused. In fact, the only animal at Chateau de Ghetto who would sit still long enough to pose was Uni. And despite being the incredibly sedentary creature she is even she wasn’t very big on the idea. It’s a shame. Uni has an exquisite ass: being a calico she has one red cheek and one black one. I see them up close and often in the wee hours of the morning when she decides it is time for breakfast.
Speaking of butts and breakfast, who wouldn’t want to bring home the bacon with a bad ass cart like this?
Someone on Knickerbocker Avenue has very interesting taste in art.
Miss Heather
Greenpoint Photo du Jour: The Franklin Corner Store
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
Yesterday I had the hankering for a sandwich. Not just any sandwich, but the “New Mexico” as only served up by the Franklin Corner guys. As I was waiting I found this latest morsel of commentary on their bulletin board.
I have no idea who posted this item, but I like him (or her).
Miss Heather
“East Williamsburg” Photo du Jour: Johnson Street
If you’re looking for a new or gently used baby I have good news: Johnson Street has ’em and they’re priced to move. Literally. What’s more, you can pick up a brand new bathing suit to boot!
Miss Heather
Williamsburg Photo du Jour: Love Potion #9
Filed under: Williamsburg
(or Hypocrite’s Delight)
You gotta hand it to those Williamsburgers down at Teddy’s. They understand a juicy political scandal breaking in the afternoon deserves a good drink special in the evening. I guess it was our state’s turn to take one for the team. But frankly it’s kind of disappointing compared to the naughty bits New Jersey doles out on a regular basis.
Drink up, Brooklynites! As my buddy Steve from Astoria so piquantly pointed out in the comments, they should have called it Love Potion #9.
Miss Heather
P.S.: This upcoming Wednesday, March 12 the folks at Teddy’s will be having an opening reception for a lovely set of photographs shot in Cuba by Jude Domski. Here’s a sneak peek!
I cannot overemphasize how great these photographs are. Check them out for yourself!
Teddy’s
96 Berry Street
Brooklyn, New York 11211
Reception Hours: 6:00 – 8:00 p.m.
North Brooklyn Pay Phones du Jour
Enticed by the beautiful weather today I opted to take a three hour walk. It was an excellent day for taking pictures.
The lighting was just perfect, as you can see from the above photograph which was taken on Java Street.
There were plenty of customized pay phones for the savoring as well, which of course is always good news to yours truly.
But not so great news if you happen to be a public pay phone or need to use one.
Miss Heather
THIS WEEK: Benefit for Steve Trimboli
Filed under: Williamsburg
I came across this flier on Lorimer Street today and even though it is a bit last minute I felt compelled to pass it along. As many of you are aware, Steve Trimboli is owner of Goodbye Blue Monday and is currently battling cancer. If any of you were knocking around the idea of checking out some music this week, why not give this event a whirl? It’s for a very good cause.
Grasslands Gallery
259 Kent Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11211
The show starts at 8:00 p.m. and the cost of admission is a very affordable eight bucks.
Miss Heather
Welcome To The Chicken Hut
Filed under: Bed-Stuy
Nobody— and I mean NOBODY— knows how to kick off a bright sunshiny day like my mother. I mention this because the following email from her (entitled “Water”) is how I started my morning. She writes:
There was a piece on AOL this morning about drugs in drinking water. Luckily we do not have any at this time, but NYC has “Heart medication, infection fighters, estrogen, anti-convulsants, a mood stabilizer and a tranquilizer”.
My mother takes great delight extolling upon the superiority of her stomping grounds: New Mexico. If this location makes her happy, then I’m happy… because if she isn’t happy I will invariably hear about it. Often. That said, her attempt at scaring me backfired big time because she forgot the overriding and defining characteristic of my personality: my distaste for my fellow man.
Not only do I find placing mood stabilizers, tranquilizers and estrogen (if I have tits so should everyone else) in our fine city’s drinking water to be a sterling idea, but the only criticism I having is the dosage is way, way too low. The way I see it, fretting over drinking water is to overlook the manifold number of other downright disturbing things that inhabit terra firma. Things like this.
Meet the Spencer Street clown.
He has a skull for a second floor neighbor.
Lest any of you are unable to read what the robot in to the left is saying, I’ll transcribe it for you:
Robot no eat aborted fetuses but will eat human fecis (sic).
As you can clearly see, Guido’s Paradise is located on floor three and the Chicken Hut can be found on four. Curiously enough, there were no chickens whatsoever to be found on the premises. But this is not to suggest I left Bed-Stuy without seeing some fowl.
I have no friggin idea what this bird is or why it inhabits a public garden. It does, however, sport webbed feet leading me to presume it is some form of aquatic fowl. Maybe he is afraid of the chemicals in the water?
In any case, he’s a pretty mild-mannered fellow. His feline companion didn’t seem to mind him in the least.
I like to call this composition “Rooster With Coat Hanger And Office Chairs”.
Miss Heather
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