Crosstown Local Photo Du Jour: Always

May 3, 2009 ·
Filed under: Crosstown Local, Greenpoint Magic 


From the Smith – 9th bound platform at Greenpoint Avenue.

Miss Heather

Crosstown Local Photo Du Jour: F*ck Fare Hikes

April 28, 2009 ·
Filed under: Clinton Hill, Crosstown Local 


You can always leave it to our friends in Clinton Hill to set the record straight as to how we G trainers feel about the Metropolitan Transit Authority.

Miss Heather

Great Moments In Product Placement: Sephora Smackdown

April 14, 2009 ·
Filed under: Crosstown Local, Greenpoint Magic 


Those of you who have read this blog over the years probably have deduced that I am a feminist. This is true. But unlike some of my sisters I also sport a sense of humor. Riding the G train demands a certain appreciation for the absurd. In short, the Crosstown Local would probably make Franz Kafka, Kurt Vonnegut and George Orwell— rock stars in my literary universe— chuckle. Which brings me back to the above advertisement.


Are you ready for a fateful encounter on the subway?

This advertisement from Sephora asks— in the hope of playing upon a woman’s insecurity about her personal appearance. On the G train. A subway line I can assure you is laden with sexy beasts of the male variety. NOT.

After some careful consideration I created the following rebuttal via a PowerPoint flow chart. A medium specifically designed to be digested by idiots with a short attention span: not unlike what the wizards behind Sephora’s advertisement had in mind. Simply less sexy. That’s the G train way.


Do the math.

Miss Heather

Crosstown Local Photo Du Jour: It’s BAAAACK!

April 11, 2009 ·
Filed under: Crosstown Local, Greenpoint Magic 


April 11, 2009

Metropolitan Transit Authority
Attn: H. Dale Hemmerdinger, Chairman
347 Madison Avenue
New York, NY 10017-3739

Re: advertisement on Queens-bound platform at Greenpoint Avenue

Dear Mr. Hemmerdinger,

What did my community ever do to you to deserve this? I mean, I can handle the odd pervert whipping out his penis— but hammertoes too? Have a heart, Dale. Please.


Miss Heather
Proprietress of New York Shitty, Greenpoint citizen & patron of the Crosstown Local

Crosstown Local Photo Du Jour: Total Consciousness

April 6, 2009 ·
Filed under: Advanced Life Forms, Crosstown Local, Greenpoint Magic 

In all my years of patronizing the G train I have seen a lot of shit. You name it and chances are I’ve probably seen, heard, touched, smelled— and yes— tasted it at some time or another. For better or worse, the Crosstown Local is a feast for all five senses— and probably a few more. I have grown to accept this fact and find it quite endearing to be perfectly frank. The previous having been said once in a very blue moon I will encounter something that confounds even me. Tonight I had one such experience.


To truly appreciate this product of enlightened thought* click on the above image and peruse a larger photograph of the rather amazing revelation some anonymous (but very talented nonetheless) subway goer had while waiting for the “Gee, where the hell is it?” train. I’m guessing he (or she) had a lot of time on her hands to execute a master work of this caliber. This is hardly surprising.

I suppose you could also head to the Smith – 9th bound platform at Greenpoint Avenue and see it in person. Whichever best suits your time/space equilibrium. Either way it is time (and/or a Metrocard swipe) well spent.

Gunga Galunga…

Miss Heather

*And given the fact this missive is on an advertisement for Dunkin Donuts, probably some blue chip sensimilla.

An India Street Public Service Announcement: MISSING

March 23, 2009 ·
Filed under: Crosstown Local, Greenpoint Magic 

Many of you have probably noticed that I am very much an animal person. This is the reason I feature adoptable pets on this site. It is also why I pass along fliers for lost pets when I encounter them.


Today’s item (which is located just outside the entrance for the Queens bound G train at India Street) puts me in a bit of a semantical quandary. From what I could tell what was lost was not a pet per se. However it does appear to mean a lot to its “keeper” so I am going to err on the side of caution and post it here.


You know what they say:

What happens at the Glenwood Hotel should stay at the Glenwood Hotel.

Unfortunately Jmz didn’t. If you have seen “Jmz” (AKA: ghst or Nagi) please contact ghstsnguitars at the above email address.

Your immediate attention to this matter is greatly appreciated.

Miss Heather

Great Moments In Product Placement: Crosstown Local Edition

March 19, 2009 ·
Filed under: Crosstown Local, Culture War, Greenpoint Magic 


There is a time and place for this sort of thing. 3:17 p.m. Tuesday afternoon on the Smith – 9th bound platform of the G train at Greenpoint Avenue is not one of them.

Miss Heather

P.S.: For a larger view of this schmaltzfest click on the above image— at your own risk.

Crosstown Local Photo Du Jour:

February 26, 2009 ·
Filed under: Crosstown Local, Culture War, Greenpoint Magic 


Clearly the recession has had some impact on reality television viewing. In Greenpoint, anyway.

Miss Heather

Subway Video Du Jour: The G Train Strut

February 24, 2009 ·
Filed under: Crosstown Local, Greenpoint Magic, Long Island City, Queens 

As mentioned in this post, the Mister and I ventured to Long Island City for dinner last weekend. It was delicious (La Vuelta has yet to disappoint). But as with all things in life— be they good or bad— our evening came to an end. We needed to go home. This of course entailed taking the Crosstown Local. The G train. The “Gee, where is it”? The “Go nowhere” train. Call it what thou whilst.

Unlike many I do not take issue with the Crosstown’s lack of punctuality. In fact I am grateful for it’s zen-like service as it has worked wonders for taming my Type A personality. I was once an impatient and impetuous public transportation novice but the Jedi masters behind this line have seen fit to teach me a most valuable gift: patience. I take things a little slower and savor the little things in life nowadays. Like this guy.

(TIP: listen to “Jimmy James” or “No Sleep Til Brooklyn” by the Beastie Boys while watching the following.)

The Mister could not understand my fascination with this chap. He wanted to get home fast and was upset I was lagging behind. It ended up making no difference: shortly after this chap descended the stairwell our train was ready to go. It was as if the G waiting for him (and maybe it was— after all, this dude is cool beyond compare).

It just goes to show that some of us bear no shame whatsoever for being patrons of the Crosstown Local. Sure, we pretty much have to transfer to get anywhere— but it also gives us the opportunity to hold our heads up and roll out a most badass strut.


Miss Heather

Crosstown Local Photo Du Jour: The Devil In Bed-Stuy

February 23, 2009 ·
Filed under: Bed-Stuy, Crosstown Local 


From the Queens bound platform at Myrtle – Willoughby.

Miss Heather

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