New York Shitty Day Ender: Roosevelt Avenue

June 14, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11372, Elmhurst, Jackson Heights, Queens 

As promised I am rounding out today’s postage with some highlights from my day trip to Queens. My buddy Richard and I got off at 90th Street, trekked 74th Street, grabbed some (DELICIOUS) Indian fare and called it day. And a great day it was: I thoroughly enjoyed taking in the sights, sounds and smells of Roosevelt Avenue! Before I proceed to the show I’d like to make a few observations/comments:

  1. I loved— no, make that LOVED— Little Mexico in Elmhurst! I plan on going back when I am more flush and stocking up on all manner and variety of spicy foodstuffs.
  2. My collection of “outcall” girlie/nudie cards now has seven new additions!
  3. I encountered what has to be the creepiest Michael Jackson souvenir I have ever seen. Save perhaps the King of Pop’s missing proboscis which I would just as well never see.
  4. “Baby Aroma” scented floor cleaner = very bad syntax
  5. Roosevelt Avenue (or at least the pigeons who call it home) are none too impressed with Absolut Brooklyn. I can’t honestly say I blame them. Speaking as someone who lives in a neighborhood where every imaginable variety of the stuff can be had (including “Poland Spring Vodka” which goes for $2.00 a fifth with accompanying plastic cups at 5 cents each!) The idea of ginger and apple infused vodka strikes me as being thoroughly repulsive.*
  6. The following slide show is (in my opinion) best seen in larger format (which can be done by clicking here).

Without further ado, here’s the show!

And on that note, dear readers, I am calling it a night!

Miss Heather

*As does Vodkagate (a term coined by Aaron Short) AKA: FOLCfest (an acronym I adore which comes courtesy of Fucked In Park Slope) AKA: Giant Blogger Circle Jerk (as coined by my friends to the south at FreeWilliamsburg) for that matter. I tried to voice my disgust via comments on Cityroom to no avail. My comment was not published. They trotted out a bona fide (and seemingly unapologetic) Payola taker and deemed her worthy of dispensing advice to bloggers yet my comment, which criticized her actions in a very civil if harsh manner, did not meet their exacting standards. Perhaps next time I should offer them a bottle of vodka?  No worries, I had the presence of mind to take a screencap.

New York Shitty Photos Du Jour: Stop & Smell The Roses

June 14, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11372, Jackson Heights, Queens 

This eerily Greenpointesque moment hails from underneath the 7 train at 74th Street. The above gent’s accouterments are as follows: one pint of vodka and a solitary red rose.

He even took a moment from the hustle and bustle (READ: shouting at people) to savor the latter. This was one of the many delights I beheld during today’s sojourn to Jackson Heights and Elmhurst. I will be posting a slide show of highlights from day trip this evening— so stay tuned!

Miss Heather

New York Shitty Pay Phone Du Jour: Monolog Machine 2.0

June 14, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11372, Jackson Heights, Queens 

This retrofitted public pay phone hails from 82nd Street and is named in honor of its Greenpoint predecessorwhich I regret to inform everyone is no more.

Miss Heather

Jackson Heights Photos Du Jour: Bada Boom, Bada Bing!

June 14, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11372, Jackson Heights, Queens 

Taken June 14, 2010.

Miss Heather

Jackson Heights Photos Du Jour: After Dark

January 21, 2009 ·
Filed under: Queens 

tacosnys

nailnys

penthousenys

From Roosevelt Avenue.

Miss Heather

Pay Phone du Jour: 37th Avenue

December 2, 2008 ·
Filed under: Long Island City, Queens 

It’s been awhile since I have found some quality public pay phone desecration. Fortunately I found this specimen in Jackson Heights. It rather tickled my fancy.

Unlike the general trend of mindless destruction I usually find, the defiler of this device took only the parts he/she needed. I for one think this was very kind of them: it leaves something for everyone else! To close on a (somewhat) related note. This weekend (as I stayed up until the wee hours watching a Planet of The Apes marathon) it came to my attention that jacked up pay phones in Queens has a little cinematic provenance.

If you think finding an operative pay phone in 2008 is bad, I assure in 3955 it is most assuredly worse. Note: the above model is a rotary phone. Oh, the humanity! Where is this item located, you ask?

Where most of the finer things in the county of Queens are to be found: Queensboro Plaza.

Dude. I don’t think I’d be laying my hands on this if I were you.

Miss Heather

Tis The Season: Kicking It Off!

December 1, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Queens 

It’s already beginning to look a lot like Christmas in and around the Garden Spot of the Universe. To this end I have decided to kick off my (hopefully) daily revue of Yuletide goodness from Greenpoint and beyond in grand style. In addition to featuring Christmas decor which graces homes I have decided to throw in some choice decorations from retail establishments. My reasons for doing so will become all too apparent later in this post. Enjoy!

This, my favorite Greenpoint feline from Kent Street, senses holiday spirit in the air!

Ever since this pharmacy (on Manhattan Avenue) featured a replica of the Empire State Building made of Fleet enema boxes back in 2002 I am always eager to see what they whip up.

While a bit of a disappointment (I mean, how could one honestly expect to top an edifice made of implements used to irrigate certain orifice?) this juxtaposition does have a certain charm.

However, if you want to get your sensuous Santa on make your way to the 7 train without delay and head over to Jackson Heights.

Why not get things started with a few naughty MAD LIBS underneath the mistletoe? As you can see it is a best seller at this Duane Reade (located at 73-01 37th Avenue). Need stocking stuffers? No worries. Roosevelt Avenue has ’em!

Who wouldn’t be delighted to receive this lovely work of art on Christmas Day (or at the office party)? I know I would! Of course such occasions demand proper apparel.

I don’t think I would want this chap coming down my chimney. What in god’s name has he stuffed in his pants? A bear claw?

HO! HO! HO!

What does this naughty little Santa’s helper hang on her bush, you ask?

Cock rings, anal beads and Spanish fly! DUH.

So you’ve got your Mad Libs, stripper sculpture (and/or other life style accessories), you and yours are dressed up and the Christmas tree is festooned with anal beads of many colors. You’re pimped up and ready to ho down. Now what?

The wine, of course. Yes, this bottle says exactly what you think it does.

Quite a bit(ch), as a matter of fact.

This libation can be found right here in Greenpoint at none other than Dandy Wine.

Home of Greenpoint’s foremost bitch: Miss Bonita.

Dandy Wine
153 Franklin Street
Brooklyn, New York 11222

Miss Heather

Jackson Heights Photos du Jour

November 30, 2008 ·
Filed under: Queens 

As I have previously mentioned the Mister and I spent our Black Friday in Jackson Heights. Follow are a few sights I found of particular interest. Enjoy!

Krishna, Radha and surveillance camera a la 74th Street.

The first family elect holds court on 82nd Street.

Here’s a few Roosevelt Avenue sombreros.

I love this guy.

And last but hardly least.

This item is by far the best bit of Obamabilia I have seen to date. Screw the New York Times, at Chez Shitty this is the periodical which will get framed and hung on these here walls!

Miss Heather

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