Last Minute Gift-Giving Ideas From The Garden Spot

December 14, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

What do you give the person who has everything? Well, a blood test immediately comes to mind to yours truly but here are a few other suggestions.

Just for Fun has lotto tickets, Polish and American flags, fake butts, elephants, American currency toilet paper and a “Sassy Girl” who drops her top and sings a saucy tune. What’s more they’re open on Sundays from noon to 5:00 p.m. and as far as I know is the only place in our fair burgh that sells butt plugs. Stick that in your chimney and smoke it!

Just For Fun
982 Manhattan Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11222

When I encountered this delightful item at the Thing I couldn’t help but feature it. First I played a round of “Tower to Tokyo” with it. Then I proceeded to use it like c.b.:

Busted Rubber this is Bearded Clam talking. There’s a whole bunch of Tampax ahead. Do you read me? That’s a big 10-4!

If sculptures of hairless hoo-hoos are not your taste the Thing also has this one.

I’m not too sure what the point of this object of art is but if you want to shake up your office Christmas party (if your office has one and you have a job) this is undoubtedly to item bring. Sure, it’ll set you back $70.00 but just imagine the look on the H.R. person’s face! Human Resource professionals are (in my experience) the most worthless waste of human flesh this side of the post-Perestroika world. If they’re going to fire you, the least you can do is make the amount of paperwork they have to file copious and interesting. Professional bureaucrats hate that sort of thing.

And this ought to do it.

Vagina Sculptures ($50.00-$70.00 each)
The Thing
1001 Manhattan Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11222

Miss Heather

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