High Art

May 24, 2007 by
Filed under: Area 51 

A question I am frequently asked is why I do not try to earn a living by teaching art. My answer is always as follows:

Have you ever taught a college art class?

I have. It was one of the most depressing experiences I have ever had. Here are a few reasons why:

  1. Grade inflation: out of a class of 30 people, half of them will expect to receive a passing grade for simply showing up.
  2. If you are a student in a foundation drawing class, I honestly couldn’t give a fat rat’s ass about the ‘conceptual statement’ you are trying to make. Leave the sophistry for your senior year, all I want to know is if you can render the fucking still life I have set up in front of you. That’s it.
  3. Unlike most of my fellow teaching assistants and teaching fellows, the bored housewives who were in my classes didn’t bother me. In fact, I liked them. Unlike the entitled rich kids (talented and otherwise) I had to wrange, these women actually wanted to be in my class and their work ethic reflected this. These women not only busted their asses but a number of them also had talent.

The previous having been said, today I found a work of art that left me speechless. Well, not exactly ‘speechless’ —I did manage to get out an “OH MY GOD!” before being overtaken by its sublimity.

American Flag with Shackled Babies

Needless to say, this masterpiece now resides in my home. I have no idea where it will go, but I will MAKE room to hang it. Perhaps it should grace my husband’s new office cubicle?

Why couldn’t this person have been one of my students? I would gladly PAY for the honor of mentoring such a genius.

Miss Heather


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