A few thoughts about baseball bats

April 4, 2007 by
Filed under: Area 51, Greenpoint Magic 

I got a little chuckle over my morning coffee today when I came across this article on Gothamist. One has to wonder what the world is coming to when his (or in my case, her) elected officials are debating the ‘fire power’ of metal baseball bats versus wood ones. There has got to be something more important to pursue than arguing baseball bat physics. Nonetheless, I will state my position (for the record) regarding this ‘hot button’ issue:

  1. I possess two baseball bats (Louisville Sluggers, no less). They are made of wood. One has a shoe and sock attached to it and looks a little like a human leg. I found this item on the sidewalk along McDonald Avenue eight years ago.
  2. If I was struck in the head with a baseball bat, I honestly wouldn’t care what it was made of: pain is pain.
  3. It has been my observation that grown adults are the ones who cannot be trusted to wield this item responsibly, not children.

The lattermost of the three previous points reminds me of a crime blotter item I read a week ago in the June 25, 1901 edition of the Brooklyn Daily Eagle. The reporter fails to note the composition of the baseball bat involved in this incident, but then again that isn’t really germane to the moral of the story. Read on and you’ll see what I mean…

Attacked a Stranger Who Used a Bat to Defend Himself

Martin Hughes, 45 years old, of 260 Oakland street (now known as McGuinness Blvd. — Ed. Note), was severely beaten yesterday by a stranger whom he assaulted on the street. Hughes’ son, James, of 93 Clay Street, called at the home of his father yesterday and the two men started out and visited several saloons. Before long there were in a fighting mod. As they walked down Manhattan avenue they were noticed by a number of men standing on the corner of Clay Street. The men, knowing of Hughes’ quarrelsome nature, moved away. Just then, however, a younger man was passing along carrying a bat in his hand. It is said that the elder Hughes struck the stranger in the face without the slightest provocation, knocking him down.

When the young man regained his feet he retailiated by striking the old man over the head with a bat, causing a scalp wound, and knocking him down. The younger Hughes then went to his father’s assistance, but the stranger turned on him and beat him over the head and back with the bat. It was at first thought that the men had been seriously injured and some one called up the police headquarters and the reserves were sent from the Greenpoint avenue station house, where Ambulance Surgeon Rorke of St. Catherine’s Hospital was summoned and dressed the wounds of the father, who was permitted to go home. The younger Hughes, however, refused to permit the ambulance surgeon to dress his injury, and declared that the only thing he wanted was to get a “whack” at the other man. He was locked up on the charge of disorderly conduct. He was arraigned in the Manhattan avenue court this morning before Magistrate O’Reilly and was held for examination.

NOTE TO SELF: Do not start a fist fight with a man wielding a baseball bat.

Miss Heather


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