Spotted On Humboldt Street: A Cry For Help

October 11, 2010 by
Filed under: 11211, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn 

It was a windy night on October 7th, and I stupidly left the cushions on my terrace furniture, and awoke to discover that one has made his escape! Have you seen him? I have drawn a likeness below. If you find in it, I can reward you with a cocktail on the terrace on said cushion, or you can just leave it as 480 Humboldt if you are sick of it taking up space on your roof, sidewalk, stoop, or wherever it had managed to end up. I would really appreciate it.

New York Shitty analysis:

  1. I cannot shake the feeling the chap who created this flier is seeking something more than merely getting his cushion back.
  2. Yes, a man most certainly created this flier.

Miss Heather

P.S.: Further down the street I learned he has a taker!


5 Comments on Spotted On Humboldt Street: A Cry For Help

  1. brendanjordan on Tue, 12th Oct 2010 11:53 am
  2. I live in the neighborhood, and I read your blog all the time. I usually enjoy it quite a bit. Unfortunately your assumptions about the author of this flier, even if they are ultimately true,* are purely based in misandry, and are very insulting. If these were meant as a stabs at humor, I’m afraid you’ve fallen short in this endeavor.

    *- No, I wasn’t the flier’s author . . . and if you thought I was, that only further proves my point.

  3. missheather on Tue, 12th Oct 2010 2:01 pm
  4. Dear Brendan, I do not have any problems with the fact this flier might be a ploy to get some companionship. The way I see it, it if works that’s great. In fact, I think it is sort of cute. Otherwise, this must be one special cushion. If it got rained on and blown around the street for several days I do not think I would want it back!

  5. brendanjordan on Tue, 12th Oct 2010 4:08 pm
  6. I would assume the missing item in question is an outdoor cushion, capable of withstanding the perils of being weathered, whether by weather or whatever. As I’m sure you’ve noticed, some outside furniture is oddly shaped, making replacement cushions possibly hard to find, or pricey to replace.

    Perhaps the chair is very uncomfortable without a cushion. One might consider that the flier’s creator would have tried countless other means of meeting someone . . . you know, beyond the trite, overdone, and obvious choice of posting fliers asking that anyone who might have found his or her all-purpose, all-weather, lifesaver of an outdoor chair’s cushion to please return it in return for a beer on the very terrace the cushion would then be returned to. The two persons, plain in their shared humanity, be they two guys, two girls, one of each, or some other combination I might be leaving out, might just find themselves in a nice conversation while enjoying panoramic views of either Manhattan’s East Side, Greenpoint’s Southern District, Long Island City gently hugged by Newtown Creek, or maybe even the dazzling purple hue of our favorite sewage treatment plant glowing as a beacon of hope to our immediate east.

    I suppose what I am saying is that your assumption seemed cynical and gender-biased. This person, regardless of there gender, might just want that cushion back, and if they had an ulterior motive, why are you certain it was a man?

  7. brendanjordan on Tue, 12th Oct 2010 4:40 pm
  8. Oh, they’re on Humboldt . . . I suppose they’d have slightly different views from a terrace at that location. Damn.

  9. missheather on Tue, 12th Oct 2010 5:40 pm
  10. @ Brendan: Don’t beat yourself up about it.

    Perhaps they have a view of the Cooper Houses, the Greenpoint Hospital or the Kosciuszko Bridge instead? Unlike a lot of people I am kind of partial to the latter most. The Greenpoint Hospital is nothing to sniff at either. It’ll be nice to see that complex being used again!

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