Trolling for Dick…

April 3, 2007 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Street, that is.

Although I am not one to count my chickens before they hatch, I will announce that I have been approached by Kevin Walsh (of Forgotten-NY) to guest-author a piece about Greenpoint. After mulling his offer over for 5 seconds (if that), I agreed. To this end, I have been busy researching my ‘nabe the last 2-3 weeks.

I have found some fucking fantastic stuff (and why wouldn’t I— this is one fucking fabulous ‘hood). The next couple of weeks I imagine I will be busy assembling my findings, so today I indulged my sophomoric side and searched for Dick Street.

Old Greenpoint Map

I realize this map is of very poor quality so I have indicated a few major cross streets in order to provide a point of reference. Notice how “Arm Street” was located immediately west of “Dick”. Hee, hee.

Although no traces of “Dick” were to be found, I was VERY amused to discover that this building is located on the strip of Commercial Street that was once intersected by “Dick” and “Arm” Streets.


Whenever I have heard the words “dick” and “arm” in the same sentence it pertained to an ’emergency response’ brought about by not having a girlfriend for a very, very long time.

Miss Heather

HH Design Shop

April 3, 2007 ·
Filed under: Area 51 

It seems like everytime I go out for a walk nowadays I find a new business opening up. Today was no exception. I spied this one at Franklin and Freeman Street.


My curiousity aroused, I went inside to take look.

H-H Interior

I love the wooden antelope bust!

H-H Interior 2

The clothing (like the teal blue dress in the above photo) isn’t too bad either. The red arrow points to this item—it also serves as a not-too-subtle hint for my husband who— believe it or not— DOES this blog on occasion.

Check it out!

HH Design Shop
211 Franklin Street
Brooklyn, NY 11222

Miss Heather

P.S.: I am a size “small”.


April 3, 2007 ·
Filed under: Bum Shit, Crazy People, Dung of the Day, Greenpoint Magic, Vomit 

151 Green Street

These are desperate times for us Greenpointers. On the one hand, you have cool old buildings getting razed to build yet more unwanted ‘luxury housing’; on the other, you have this SHITHOLE which, in my opinion, cannot get torn down soon enough.

Anyone who has lived on this block for any appreciable period of time will tell you about the former residents of this building, 151 Green Street: a perpetually drunk old woman and her son. Although I found her practice of chaining her wheelchair(s) to the fence to prevent theft darkly amusing, the same cannot be said about the frequent visits made by EMS to collect her drunken ass. I wasn’t too big on her son’s proclivity for passing out on their stoop either. Charming.

The more observant of you (readers) will notice that there are several permits posted in the window of this property. One of them sanctions the demolition of this house. To the best of my recollection these were put up about a month ago, maybe a little longer. I remember quietly rejoicing when I got the news and have been eagerly waiting for the big day to come.

I am still waiting. In the meantime, a new (and equally dysfunctional) ‘family unit’ seems to have moved in: a trio of junkies. They have taken to lounging around on the sidewalk and passing GARGANTUAN BOWEL MOVEMENTS wherever the mood suits them. Like the one I found in front of my apartment building this morning.

3407 Dung of the Day

They also left their ‘calling card’ on my stoop.

Puke on da Stoop

This has got to stop. I do not think it is either an unreasonable or a presumptuous demand to be able to exit one’s building without stepping in someone’s barf. Seriously folks, it’s fucking nasty.

Miss Heather

Greenpoint’s “Sick Spot”

April 3, 2007 ·
Filed under: Area 51 

Much has been said, but little has been done about the area now known as “The Roebling Oil Field“. Although many theories abound, I honestly think the culprit will never be determined with 100% certainty; there are simply too many variables at play. Maybe it belongs to the infamous “Greenpoint Oil Spill”, which I prefer to call the matmos (watch the movie Barbarella and you’ll get the joke), who knows?

That said, I recently found the following article in the March 22nd, 1901 issue of the Brooklyn Daily Eagle. It is very interesting, enough so to merit dissemination to the general public.

Greenpoint Sick Spot

It would appear that this area has been an environmental disaster area for some time. Maybe it will actually get cleaned up if we give it another century (or two).

Miss Heather

The Blarney Choad

April 2, 2007 ·
Filed under: Dog Shit, Dung of the Day 

Not satisfied with a mere six surveillance cameras, Magic Johnson and his crew have seen fit to add a few more.

Big Brother

I’m not too sure what purpose these cameras serve (aside from perhaps pissing people off— and in this regard they are working like a charm), but if they are being used as a dog shit deterrent, IT ISN’T WORKING.

The Blarney Choad

Top of the mornin’ to ya Mr. Johnson!

I found this a yard away from these festive feces. Looks like the St. Paddy’s celebration is finally winding down at 106 Green Street. Sixteen days of partying: even for here that has got to set some sort of record…

Miss Heather

219 Montrose Avenue

April 2, 2007 ·
Filed under: Area 51, Bum Shit, Crazy People 

Now that spring has arrived I have to be more careful when exiting my apartment building. This is because the usual suspects (hipsters, bums and junkies— I can no longer tell the difference) have resumed hanging out on my stoop. It takes every iota of restraint I have not to swing the hideous metal door that graces my building full force and squash these creatures like flies. If you do not shell out the ridiculous amount of money (my husband and I do in order) to live here, don’t hang out here . Simple as that.

When I was helping some friends move their cats this weekend I noticed that the fine folks who reside at 219 Montrose Avenue feel the same way about loiterers as I do. They made a nice sign to make their stance on this issue crystal fucking clear.

219 Montrose Avenue

I for one like the juxtaposition of the plywood sign against the brand-spanking new vinyl siding. I think I will print out a nice copy of this sign, have it laminated and place it on our front door. It looks like it works.

Miss Heather