From The New York Shitty Inbox: A Dispatch From Frost Street

gothamistscI am certain a number of folks reading this tome are familiar with the item Gothamist posted recently about an attorney having what can be best described as an alcohol-fueled melt-down in Williamsburg. Those of you who are not in the know can become so by clicking here.

In any case, I found the incident downright uncanny as something very similar happened— also in Williamsburg— twenty four hours later. A doppelganger, if you will. I’m guessing the 94th had a very busy weekend— but I digress. My tipster writes on Sunday, June 2nd:

It isn’t Even hot yet and people are nuts. Whackjob… flipped out cross the street last night. 30’s white dude with braided bracelets was kicking and punch the shit out of somebody elses car. Then lays down on the sidewalk crying. Hell-o 94th! Sad, nobody loves him and he is mad about it. Really nice young Polish cop came. I liked seeing a cop in his own hood.

As it was explained to me by another witness this fellow managed to inflict several thousand dollars worth of damage to this defenseless motor vehicle before passing out on the sidewalk.  And passed out on the sidewalk he conveniently remained until our Finest arrived. Upon being awakened next to his “handiwork”— I want to make this perfectly clear— this chap apparently had enough wits about him to deny any wrong-doing.

Yup. Methinks we’re in for an interesting summer north Brooklyn. On a related note, this evening the monthly meeting of the 94th Precinct Community Council will come to pass at the Church of Ascension’s Parish Hall. NOTE: this will be the last meeting until September.

94th Precinct Community Council Meeting
June 5, 2013 starting at 7:00 p.m.
Church of the Ascension’s Auditorium
122 Java Street
Brooklyn, New York 11222



From The New York Shitty Inbox: Raided?

That’s right: today both the police and Department of Sanitation have raided 373 Graham Avenue. The word on the street, I have been told (but await confirmation*), is “Joe” physically and sexually assaulted his girlfriend. This is horrible folks.

Here’s what happened per the Commanding Officer of the 94th Precinct, D.I. Hurson:

We assisted the sanitation dept in removing the garbage he had placed in front of his building. In the past he had given the sanitation dept a hard time they also gave him several summonses today even though he wasn’t present this morning

Photo Credits: Robin Hagert  and Melissa Kerwin respectively.

Williamsburg Photos Du Jour: Halloween Greetings From 373 Graham Avenue

Or: He’s Baaacck!

Contrary to reports that the police vacated north Brooklyn’s perennial haunted house last Friday, Joe (as he is known) is back. As for how Joe feels about his latest visit from the local constabulary, well, methinks the following missive (as well as the fact he appears to have erected a barricade as seen above) might be an indication.

It is interesting to note that after I took the above photographs a young man exited the apartment on the second floor. He told a neighbor he can no longer abide having Joe as a neighbor (and one would presume: landlord). I found this interesting for a number of reasons. Foremost among them: there is no Certificate of Occupancy for this building.


To be continued (no doubt)…



Williamsburg Photo Du Jour: 373 Graham Avenue

Taken October 2, 2012.

Williamsburg Photos Du Jour: 373 Graham Avenue

August 19, 2012 ·
Filed under: 11211, Crazy People, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn 

Yes gentle readers, it would appear this is the latest “service” our Graham Avenue’s good friend has seen fit to offer the general public. My advice to any/all interested sun worshippers: you might want to take into consideration this fellow has chased someone with a chainsaw.*

*As it would happen, I had the dubious honor of pointing out this fact to a couple of ladies dancing with Joe earlier this summer. Follows is how I recounted it to a few of his beleaguered neighbors:

Hey, I thought you all would enjoy a little “fun” I had with Joe before (amusingly enough) this evening’s Public Safety Committee meeting.

I was quite hungry as it would happen my taco purveyor of choice is located one block away from 373 Graham Avenue. Well, “Joe” was in especially good form this evening. Not only did he have his music cranked up to some ungodly volume, but he was singing as well. Noting that the owner of the hardware store next door was sitting in a chair watching this shitshow unfold, I struck up a conversation with him. Very simply put, he is tired of his neighbor, has apparently brought this to Marie’s and Gerry’s attention repeatedly and has lodged a number of complaints. “Joe’s” response to all of this is that he is being harassed. That’s when I opined to my new friend:

Well, he does have a restraining order against him for chasing someone with a chainsaw so I suppose he would be an expert on harassment.

He found this really funny. Wanting to get food (because I was REALLY HUNGRY) I told this fellow we’d resume our conversation on my way back. I’m glad I did! On my way back “Joe” was out front dancing with not one but two 20-something women. The owner of the hardware found this as darkly amusing as I did. In fact, I told him:

If Joe goes inside I am going to tell these women about his affection for chainsaws.

Then by some act of divine providence, Joe’s CD player started malfunctioning. BADLY. So I skipped on over and very calmly/glibly (think like I was talking about the weather) said the following:

You know this guy has a restraining order against him for chasing someone with a chainsaw, yes?

Their initial response was to giggle like a couple 14 year olds. I said nothing more but gave them my “I am not joking” face. Not only did they stop laughing but they ran— RAN— as fast as they could around the corner. I was a couple doors away when Joe finally came back out. The look of confusion and disappointment on his face was priceless.

Quicklink: From The C-Town Tumblr Page

For those of you who are not in the know, the C-Town located at 330 Graham Avenue has a tumblr page. And today it was brought to my attention by a fellow we’ll “T” that they too have had issues with the rather, um, eccentric fellow who calls 373 Graham Avenue his place of enjoyment. I can only wonder what 373 Scam Ave will have to say about this

From The New York Shitty Inbox, Part II: Benefit Concert At 373 Graham Avenue?

July 28, 2012 ·
Filed under: 11211, Crazy People, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn 

A concerned neighbor writes on the evening of July 27, 2012:

Considering I had to make noise complaints in the wee hours of the morning the past two days, I am super not looking forward to this so called concert tonight. Sorry for the poor photo, am trying to fly under the radar here and didn’t want to spend too much time lingering!

Williamsburg Photo Du Jour: And Now A Word From 373 Graham Avenue

To Complain
94 Percint 1 718-Fuck-U
Or mind your own business.

— Taken July 7, 2012.

New York Shitty Photo Du Jour: Say It With Flowers

July 1, 2012 ·
Filed under: 11211, Crazy People, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn 

From 373 Graham Avenue.

New York Shitty Day Starter: 373 Graham Avenue, Revisited

June 14, 2012 ·
Filed under: 11211, Crazy People, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn 

As is often the case the story behind a photograph is often as compelling— if not more so— than the image itself. This was certainly the case yesterday after I took this one. “Joe”, as he is known both in the neighborhood and online— saw fit to come out the front door and shout at me. He wanted me to stop taking photos of his establishment.

Given this very same fellow wanted to make my acquaintance not too long ago while playing “air guitar” with a mop to Van Halen (“Dance the Night Away”, I would have preferred “Unchained”) I was a mite bit surprised— but unshaken.

I informed “Joe” that I was perfectly within my rights to take photos of his establishment. Believe it or not, this reasonable (and legally nuanced) response seemed to make an impression on him. This is the only reason I can muster as to why it took him a few seconds to shout another inquiry at me:

What are you going to do with these photos?

Post them online

I replied and walked off. I was once told by a very wise man named Tim* that all a man (or woman) has is his (or her) word. And that I have just kept.

A few closing thoughts:

  1. The assorted detritus on the sidewalk (including a chair with a half-smoked cigar on it) falls under the jurisdiction of the Department of Consumer Affairs and possibly the Department of Transportation (as it involves obstructing our city’s sidewalks).
  2. The material obstructing the entrance to the apartments upstairs is blocking the primary means of egress. This is a violation of fire code provided (what I have heard is true) that someone is residing in any/all of the apartments upstairs. Which brings me to…
  3. This building, per the Department of Buildings Building Information System, does not have a Certificate of Occupancy, thus (theoretically**) no one should be residing here in the first place.

Nuance your 311 complaints accordingly, folks.

*There are many wise men named Tim.

**Note that I wrote “theoretically”.

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