Touched by an Anal (Probe)

August 17, 2007 by
Filed under: Crazy People, Greenpoint Magic 

New York City is a strange place. Contrary to what most Manhattanites will tell you, Greenpoint is part of New York City. What’s more, Greenpoint is a stranger part of New York City than most.

Yesterday evening I needed to the grocery store. It was 7:00 p.m. On Manhattan Avenue I heard shouting. I turned to my husband and said:

I bet it’s that guy who was shouting about Rene’s husband screwing his wife last Saturday night. He’s been pretty active lately.

It wasn’t. It was this guy.

Man in Black

As this guy crossed Huron Street, even Vito (a gent who happens to be mentally retarded) picked up on the strange mojo he was giving off. He grabbed his (presumably non-retarded) companion, pointed at this chap and uttered “vato loco”.

That’s when the man in black started shouting again:

HARRY POTTER, F.B.I., INCOMPETENT CUNT!!!

Immediately thereafter he ducked into the subway entrance for the Queens-bound G train. Everyone just stood there. I turned to the man behind me, gave him my best “what the fuck” face and said:

Hey, at least he got on the G train to Queens, he’s their problem now.

To wit he replied:

Yup, that Citibank tower is coming down.

“Maybe he’ll take out some of those awful high rise towers while he’s at it.” I opined and then continued my trek to the grocery store. When I entered The Garden “Metal Health” was playing by Quiet Riot. It was a fitting denouement to a very strange situation.

Miss Heather

Comments

3 Comments on Touched by an Anal (Probe)

  1. Steve of Astoria on Fri, 17th Aug 2007 4:48 pm
  2. Wow, I had a feeling these people originated from somewhere else.

  3. mr. belvedere on Sat, 18th Aug 2007 1:46 am
  4. you might find this amusing…

    RABBIT’S FOOT SAVED HIS LIFE , SAYS JUMPER
    But Clotheslines and Alcohol Figure in Adventure
    ‘A rabbit’s foot saved me,’ maintains Joseph SEKULSKI, 32, of 193
    Russell street, who is in Kings County Hospital to-day suffering from
    lacerations, contusions and abrasions of the body, possible concussion
    of the brain and a sever case of alcoholism.
    Joseph was intoxicated last night, police say, and in his inebriated
    condition he visited Mr. and Mrs. JACOBSEN, who live on the third floor
    of a six-story apartment at 172 Greenpoint avenue. When the time came
    to bid good-bye to his friends, Joseph decided to quickest way out was
    via the window.
    On the way down Joseph struck four clotheslines, bouncing from one to
    the other. He crashed through the wooden cellar cover and lay there in
    a semi-conscious condition.
    Patrolman John MAHONEY was summoned from Greenpoint station and on
    arriving at the scene Joseph demanded of him where he was. ‘You’re
    still in the land of the living,’ replied MAHONEY. Ambulance Surgeon
    GARDENER of Greenpoint Hospital arrived and said Joseph’s most serious
    ailment was alcoholism.
    He insists that his rabbit’s foot performed its traditional voodoo.

    http://www.bklyn-genealogy-info.com/Newspaper/BSU/1929.News.July.html

  5. missheather on Sat, 18th Aug 2007 5:00 am
  6. Come to think of it Steve, two of my favorite crazies— no, make that THREE— were spotted in Astoria. The best one I cannot describe in writing, but the runner-up yelled “Do I understand what you’re saying MOTHERFUCKER?!?” at an ATM machine and then punched it.

    Mr. Belvedere: NICE story!

    Even better “alias”.

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