East Williamsburg Photo du Jour: Warning

December 3, 2008 ·
Filed under: Bushwick, Williamsburg 

If your name happens to be Thomas I would stay away from this bodega on Humboldt Street if I were you. You may not make it back home!

Miss Heather

‘Tis The Season: The Garden

December 3, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Now that the Mister has been kind enough to relinquish the computer (he was home sick today) I will hit you up with today’s bit of holiday cheer from The Garden.

But if you want to see the real action, go inside. Alex writes:

i walked into the garden today for lunch and saw this holiday decoration getup… if you haven’t seen in person, i strongly recommend you stop by…however, since i get all my gp news from you, i am guessing that i am no.78 in sending you this hot tip.

Actually he was the first. Although I am fairly certain this decor was used last year it doesn’t make it any less disturbing. If you harbor an irrational fear of elves, gnomes, dwarves, little people in general or are on psychotropic drugs, DO NOT click the above link.

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Photo Du Jour: H2O

December 3, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

From Van Dam Street.

Miss Heather

Spotted On Humboldt Street…

December 2, 2008 ·
Filed under: Asshole, Greenpoint Magic 

and headed towards Driggs Avenue as of 1:30 this afternoon, representatives for IDT Energy are still spreading their holiday cheer scam across the Garden Spot.

Upon noticing the clipboards I had my suspicions. When I saw their I.D. holders emblazoned with the “IDT Energy” logo they were confirmed. For more information about what IDT Energy is up to check out this post on the Gowanus Lounge or check out this flier the one man* army over at Concerned Citizens of Greenwood Heights has created to make people aware of what these miscreants are up to. And while you’re at it, why not rattle off a concerned email to a few of your elected officials (see end of post)?

I have… and so should you.

Miss Heather

*Who rocks despite the fact he went to J.J. Pierce. (Inside joke)

‘Tis The Season: Cat Frost

December 2, 2008 ·
Filed under: Crazy Cat Lady, Greenpoint Magic 

From Manhattan Avenue.

Miss Heather

A Little Holiday Cheer From East Williamsburg

December 2, 2008 ·
Filed under: Bushwick, Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

I have a confession to make: today I woke up in a ROTTEN mood. I have no idea why. I just did. Perhaps it was pre-holidaze malaise? Who knows. Sometimes these things just happen. Anyhoo, I decided to shake off my surly attitude by going for a little walk. I’m glad I did, as it would appear I am not the only person with a chip on my shoulder.

You can always leave it the peeps over in good ol’ East Williamsburg to keep things real.

I call this shot “From Meserole Street With Love”.

The second sullen salvo of revolt I beheld today was to be found at 245 Frost Street (which, unlike many of its brethren, was busy at work today).

Sigmund Freud was once quoted as saying:

The first human who hurled an insult instead of a stone was the founder of civilization.

Welcome to civilization: the 245 Frost Street Condominiums.

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Gentrification Watch: We Have Arrived (AGAIN)!

December 2, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

From Driggs Avenue.

I have long tangled with the question as to what constitutes “gentrification”. The above flier (from Manhattan Avenue between Nassau and Driggs Avenue) has provided me with an answer: the presence of CERTIFIED LACTATION CONSULTANTS.

Congratulations Greenpoint! You’re looking (if not smelling) more like Park Slope with each and every passing day!

Miss Heather

P.S.: I am totally making a t-shirt for the Mister emblazoned with the phrase “Lactation Expert”. This is because to some degree he is: Mr. Heather is an expert at treating mastitis in cows. Just ask him. He was kind enough to forward me this link on the subject. Here are a few highlights:

Milking Tips From the NMC

Attitude Makes A Difference
Proper milking procedures and a positive attitude are required to minimize mastitis and maximize quality production from a milking herd. Milking should be done by responsible and conscientious persons. Good management dictates that the person milking must be constantly alert to conditions that may spread mastitis organisms from cow to cow. Correcting such conditions assists the production of high quality milk from healthier udders.

Provide a Stress Free Environment
A consistent operating routine for bringing cows and milking machines together is essential. Cows that are frightened or excited before milking may not let their milk down in spite of an effective preparation routine. Hormones are released into the bloodstream during periods of stress. These hormones interfere with normal milking procedure and the animal’s resistance to disease, including mastitis. A milking environment that routinely causes stress to cows may predispose cows to a greater rate of mastitis infection.

Clip Udders For Cleanliness
Well clipped udders reduce the amount of dirt and manure that can contaminate milk. Udders with long hair are difficult to clean and dry. Milking wet and/or dirty teats increases the risk of high bacteria counts in the milk and increases the rate of new cases of mastitis.

Check Foremilk and Udder For Mastitis
Presence of mastitis can be detected by using the hand to physically examine the udder for swelling, heat, and/or “knots”, and by using a strip cup or plate to examine foremilk of each quarter of each cow prior to every milking. Correct use of the strip cup can be a valuable aid in detecting symptoms of mastitis such as clotty, stringy, or watery milk. Milk should never be stripped into the hand. This routine spreads mastitis organisms from teat to teat and cow to cow. Forestripping may aid in preventing new infections by flushing mastitis organisms from inside the teat.

Good Massage Increases Production
When teats and the lower part of the udder are massaged, a signal is sent to the brain which secretes the milk letdown hormone, oxytocin, into the blood stream. The hormone is then carried to the udder where it acts on muscle cells to “squeeze” milk out of the milk-secreting tissue. Massage of all teats is better than massage of only one or two teats and physically squeezing each teat will reduce the amount of milk left in the udder at the end of milking. Large amounts of milk left in the udder increase frequency of clinical mastitis in infected quarters.

Life In Dangertown

December 2, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

On Thanksgiving Day of this year I wrote:

What constituted “Dangertown” here in 11222, you ask? I’m saving that for an extra juicy post!

Well, that time has come.

Although the above image did not accompany the following article from the July 18, 1886 edition of the Brooklyn Daily Eagle I felt it illustrated perfectly the grinding poverty that was once commonplace in the fair burgh we call home. Believe it or not this see-saw was considered plush by contemporary accounts. Greenpoint at the turn of the century was rife with crime, filth and gangs with colorful noms de guerre such as the “Dangertown Slobs”, “Jolly Four”, “Sons of Rest” and the “Undertakers”. The latter most moniker is my personal favorite, as the members purportedly called themselves as such because they completed everything they undertook —but make no mistake about it: the young Republican’s Glee Club these gentlemen most decidedly were NOT.

Two things haven’t changed over the last 124 years in Greenpoint; the watering holes are still quite plentiful and there’s plenty of hideous architecture to go around.* You can read the rest of this article about “Dangertown” (and its numerous shenanigans) by clicking here.

Miss Heather

*Karl Fischer

Pay Phone du Jour: 37th Avenue

December 2, 2008 ·
Filed under: Long Island City, Queens 

It’s been awhile since I have found some quality public pay phone desecration. Fortunately I found this specimen in Jackson Heights. It rather tickled my fancy.

Unlike the general trend of mindless destruction I usually find, the defiler of this device took only the parts he/she needed. I for one think this was very kind of them: it leaves something for everyone else! To close on a (somewhat) related note. This weekend (as I stayed up until the wee hours watching a Planet of The Apes marathon) it came to my attention that jacked up pay phones in Queens has a little cinematic provenance.

If you think finding an operative pay phone in 2008 is bad, I assure in 3955 it is most assuredly worse. Note: the above model is a rotary phone. Oh, the humanity! Where is this item located, you ask?

Where most of the finer things in the county of Queens are to be found: Queensboro Plaza.

Dude. I don’t think I’d be laying my hands on this if I were you.

Miss Heather

A Home For Ella

December 2, 2008 ·
Filed under: Crazy Cat Lady, Park Slope 

This was forwarded by a reader of mine. Once you learn about Ella’s situation you will understand the urgency of her situation. Vivian writes:

Ella lived most of her life in a parking lot in Brooklyn.  Although she was fed and had a “doghouse” she was always alone and rarely acknowledged.  A month ago we learned that construction was to begin in the lot, so she was being evicted.  She is currently at a short-term foster home, but Ella needs to find a foster or permanent home urgently.

Ella is about 6 years old, approximately 55 lbs, and a lab-shep mix. She is completely house broken and very sweet – doesn’t seem that she was abused.  She loves everyone and is OK with kids.  Ella is a great dog for someone that doesn’t want to deal with issues – She is low maintenance and very easy going – no separation anxiety and not destructive.  She is just happy hanging out.  Unfortunately Ella doesn’t like cats and is probably best with smaller dogs.

Anyone interested in giving Ella the gift a home this holiday season should contact Vivian at info (at) HouseBrokenny (dot) com. It should be noted that HouseBrokenny has offered to provide free dog walking to the adoptive/foster parents for Ella if they live in the “Park Slope area” (READ: Prospect Heights, Park Slope or Crown Heights vicinity) until she becomes acclimatized to her new home.

Miss Heather