Subway Video Do Jour: Love On The L

February 16, 2009 ·
Filed under: Area 51 

This item comes courtesy of Greenpoint’s one and only Bitchcakes whose latest  (and hilarious) post has to do with a B61 bus driver trying to purchase pussy willows for his sweetie from World of Flowers. Check it out!

Miss Heather

Happy Presidents Day From New York Shitty!

February 16, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 


In this spirit of this holiday follows is a selection photographs with a decidedly presidential theme. Enjoy!


I will be of little surprise to some that North 5th Street has started printing its own currency.


Why not swing by this deli on Manhattan Avenue and get yourself a McCain sandwich?


Bill Clinton + magnetic erotic poetry kit = hilarity.


The Thing, Greenpoint, Brooklyn.

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Photos Du Jour: 404

February 15, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 







This message comes courtesy of Kent and Franklin Street.

Miss Heather

More Fun From The New York Shitty Inbox

February 14, 2009 ·
Filed under: 11211, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn 


You know what that they say about trouble: it comes in threes. It would appear this holiday weekend (and it ain’t over yet) is proving to be a busy one for our very own 94th precinct.

M writes:

Hey Miss H – I witnessed an armed robbery early Friday morning around 1 AM at the corner of N. 11th & Union across from the Royal Oak bar in Williamsburg. A twenty-something couple that lives in the area got held up at gunpoint for their belongings. The assailants were both wearing hoodies: one grey and one black.  The whole thing happened very quickly of course – when I first turned around to see the commotion, it almost looked as though the group knew each other.  The robbers didn’t take their cell phones so the couple both called 911. Unfortunately, there wasn’t much I could offer other than “one in grey and one in black” from my vantage point across the street. One of the robbers held a gun to the male’s head as they grabbed their bags and told them to “give it up.  I found out afterward that the woman’s bag contained a laptop full of research for her work.  There were several squad cars on the scene within minutes of the robbery and they started scouring the area.

I gave the guy my card in case I could help remember anything more specific, but alas, I didn’t get a view of the two robber’s faces before they took off and rounded the corner onto Roebling.  The couple hopped into one of the squad cars to take a look around, but as I got a call from the police about 2 hours later asking if I had seen the robbers’ faces, I doubt they turned up anything in their search of the area. Pretty scary considering how it wasn’t that late and the area there isn’t exactly bereft of foot traffic. It would seem that criminals are getting bolder in the neighborhood, so people should be extra cautious when you’re walking around late at night in less trafficked areas. It could have just as easily been me on that side of the street with my laptop (which I happened to have on me at the time) so this has me thinking twice about the safety of our area.

Here’s a link to the google map of the corner where the robbery took place .

sorry this isn’t a fun tip to pass on your way, but people should know what’s happening out there after hours.

I agree. While not “fun” it is important that my fellow citizens know about this kind of thing, hence why I am posting this item. Be careful out there G & L trainers. Seriously.

Miss Heather

P.S.: Lest anyone reading this wants to voice their concerns about crime in the Greenpoint/Williamsburg area, the next Community Council meeting for the 94th Precinct will be on February 17, 2009 starting at 7:30 p.m. at the Greenpoint Savings Bank (AKA: Capital One):

807 Manhattan Avenue (Entrance on Calyer Street)
Brooklyn, New York 11222

East Village Photo Du Jour: V-Day Wrap Up

February 14, 2009 ·
Filed under: Manhattan 


From Third Avenue.

Miss Heather

Today’s Moment Of Zen

February 14, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 


If any of you guys are still searching for a unique and very memorable Valentine’s gift for your honey today, get thee down to the intersection of Green Street and Franklin Street.



Miss Heather

A Shooting At The Production Lounge?

February 14, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 


This email comes courtesy of R.C.:

Hey Miss Heather

Thought you may like a little play by play of what the heck is happening out my window at this very moment.

Its 3:47 am.. and I was awaken by something that sounded like gun shots out my front window.
I was quickly shaken out of my bed and my thought was gun shots???? But why. Then I remembered instantly, OH PRODUCTION LOUNGE!

Sure enough, a small commotion was brewing outside.. people moving around quickly and fighting or trying to get away inside the “amazing bar” that has fallen upon our neighborhood. I noticed someone locking the door and keeping its patrons inside the bar, not letting anyone out. I instantly thought this is not going to be good. Cops show up, not with lights on nor sirens , about 5 cars and the place starts to flood out… cops direct the flow of people that were all exiting the bar away from Kent street direction and back towards Greenpoint Avenue on Franklin.

I thought I was dreaming when I heard “the shots” but I obviously was not when the presence of cops showed up outside my home ( I live on the same block as this shit den of a bar)  and started to filter the lovely patrons of “P-LO” as I like to call this humble establishment away.

Its 3:53 now and the block is barricaded by cruisers on either side of this block on Franklin. From what I heard to what is now happening outside seems like yes maybe they were shots fired but no arrests or heavy breakouts resumed. Some people did run away  at the moment I started watching and taping (yes I captured footage of this on my mini HD camera) this incident at the P-LO But now the block is barricaded by 10 or so cops…

The cops are now walking around the block with flashlights looking for something?? gun shot shells maybe?

What ever this is going on we need to close this place down for good! It’s revolting and not what Franklin Street is about.

I guess its officially a crime scene when police tape is surrounding the entrances to the block  on either end now.

A few cops are walking back and forth the block..flashlight in hand.

4:15 a.m
Cops walking around still. nothing seems to be urgent. talking on and off with who I think is one of the owners of this place.

Let us hope that this is the end of this place. But I fear it wont be…

The P-Lo needs to go!!!

So just thought I would let you know about whats happening and ask you how the heck do we shut down this HELLHOLE that has plagued our quiet hood.

This isn’t the only email I got on the subject of this shooting either. Tony writes:

i heard 6 gunshots last night at 2:30 am from my place on Kent street.

i called 911. didn’t venture outside. NYPD just called me and asked if i had any other info.

they said a woman got shot on the corner of Kent Street & Franklin but that she’s going to be okay.

this is fucked up.

I can hardly wait to see how they spin this one at the next 94th Precinct Community Council Meeting.

Miss Heather

Photographer’s (my) Note: This is 158 Franklin Street. The bullet that penetrated the front door managed to go through a second door in the interior of this domicile and lodged itself in a wall. I have it on good intelligence that bullets managed to find their way to the second floor of this residence as well. One destroyed a hat hanging on a rack (better the hat than the wearer, I suppose). It should also be noted that the owner of this house just finished renovating it from top to bottom. Now it has a few bullet holes to give it that “gritty” “urban” feel.

UPDATE: Apparently this matter has found its way onto Yelp;

While this place has been drawing my snarky ire since it opened for myriad reasons (laughable decor, seeming utter distain for the idea of a unified neighborhood fabric, loud, raucous club nights exhibiting contemptible taste levels vis-à-vis music, general waft of sadness and desperation, etc., etc.), I always considered it unfortunate joke that would be quickly and deservedly shuttered. But last night things took a much more serious turn…

You can read the rest by clicking here.* (A special thanks goes out to Greenpointless for bringing this to my attention.)

*NO YOU CAN’T: Yelp has pulled the posts.

Greenpoint Photo Du Jour: Just Like Any Other Day Edition

February 14, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 


From Manhattan Avenue.

Miss Heather

Express Yourself!

February 14, 2009 ·
Filed under: Area 51, Queens 


Earlier this week the Mister asked me what I want to do for Valentine’s Day. I told him (in all seriousness) I wanted to go bowling— and so we are. I have told my friends about this and they think it is hilarious. I, on the other hand, fail to see what the big deal is and therein lies the rub.

For wont of another way of putting it I am not the most warm, fuzzy and sentimental gal to be found. Sloppy protestations of love and bouquets of flowers— at the very best— will confuse me. More likely than not I’ll get very suspicious and think you trying to pull something over on me. That’s just the way I am and at this point I seriously doubt I am going to change. So be it. After a few misfires the Mister has learned this.

No mushy stuff necessary or cheesy cards, thanks. I not only don’t want ’em but I don’t need ’em: reading someone else’s billets doux is a hell of a lot more fun. Some of you might remember (and if you do are probably doing your utmost to forget) the recent cache of naughty foot fetish goodness I found at the junk shop a couple weeks ago. Well, I have some very good new (for me, anyway): now I have a some letters to go with them! Having trouble expressing yourself to your lady love this Valentine’s Day? Why not take a few tips from these guys? You’ll be certain to get her attention— and possibly a restraining order too!


V-Day Tip #1: Always make sure your letter is neat and legible.


V-Day Tip #2: Use the phrase ROYAL TOE JAM.

If you follow these directions you might get a doggy biscuit!


Remember the movie Sleepless In Seattle? God, I hated that film. Well, here’s its little known (and infinitely more fun) sequel. It is called Naked On My Knees In Queens.


After reading this a few questions come to mind:

  1. Why don’t I get mail like this?
  2. Why does every man who comes a courtin’ claim he is “very good looking”? God has made plenty of room in this world for dog shit ugly. Oh has he ever. Don’t believe me? Then I would like to humbly suggestion you take a long hard look at Aerosmith nowadays. Any questions?



I know at least one person out there reading this is a musician. Would you please start a bad (or at the very least write a song) called “White Trash Doormat”? PLEEEEEEEEEEEEZE.



Of course there is something to be said about just being upfront and to the point.

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Photos Du Jour: Valentines Day Special

February 14, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

In keeping with the spirit of Valetine’s Day here are a few shots taken from none other than the Garden Spot of the Universe. Enjoy!


This lovely assortment of roses come from the A.J. Farm Market at 1014 Manhattan Avenue.


As many of you know this is also Presidents Day weekend. So why not do what the owners of T & N Wine and Liquor did and combine motifs?


Nothing washes down a box of chocolate (or nine) like a tall frosty one!


Valentine’s Day meets Chinese New Year on Herbert Street.


Now this is what I call a teddy bear!


Someone is loved on Morgan Avenue.


Yeah, I know this isn’t from Greenpoint per se. But I like it and what’s more it makes a great finisher for this post. So there!

Miss Heather