East Williamsburg Photos Du Jour: Zeitgeist

I could tell something was afoot when I passed a youth wearing a t-shirt which read as follows:

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

Have a nice day.

If there’s one thing I have observed about East Williamsburg over the years it is its citizens do not mince words. This is a large reason why I find this neighborhood so endearing: they say whatever is on their mind. CASES IN POINT:

I encounter this pup on Lorimer Street. When I inquired of his “person” as to what his friend’s name was he replied:

Give me your phone number.

To wit I replied:

If he has a cell phone— and I trust he does— I’ll be more than happy to program it into his phone since I have opposable thumbs.

It took a moment, but he got the joke and ‘fessed up that this— his— dog has no name. He asked me to give him one— and I did: Amos. As I have mentioned fairly recently, I grew up with a bulldog with just this name as a kid. That was a good enough reason as any so it stands: Amos it is!

Montrose Avenue

While no explanation is given methinks what happened here is pretty clear: this person had his (her?) bike stolen. I can only wonder what Janice Sadik Khan would think of this. But I digress. As I continued down the street— pondering the fact this act of theft came to pass a mere five minute walk from the 90th Precinct all the while— I stumbled upon this.

Wow, they really do have a problem here.

I thought to myself. And this.

Yup.

And last— but hardly least— this find from Graham Avenue

I will readily admit my command of Spanish (or pretty much anything for that matter) was not up to par today— it was one of those days. We all have them. But the message gets across nonetheless.

I love a happy ending! *sigh*

Miss Heather



LAST GASP: Ode To A Bike Thief

To

I thought I was going to end today’s postage with a woman giving not-so-thinly veiled ministrations to a bottle of wine. What can I say? My mind has decided to join my mouth in the gutter of late. Personally I blame the weather. Anyhoo, when I checked out my photo pool and found this item from algul siento my inner 14 year old squealed with delight. Something this special (and strangely sexual) simply could not wait until tomorrow!

…I hope you die riding on my parts.

(priceless)

Miss Heather

The Calyer Street Bike Bandit Strikes Again!

January 29, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11222, Criminal Activity, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

Remember the reader email I posted on January 25 about a fellow Greenpointer having not one, BUT TWO, bicycles stolen last weekend? Well, it would appear they have struck again. Per my Calyer Street tipster:

i don’t know who’s letting them in, so it has to be delivery something, or someone who works for the landlady.

i am having my brother in law put the new lock in TOMORROW.

First off, I want to tender my sincerest sympathies to my Calyer Street compadre. Knowing that a thief has been in your apartment building is disturbing enough. The fact he (or she, I suppose) had the chutzpah to come back— or worse—- someone else has taken to pillaging on your private property is even worse! While I realize this may be cold comfort to this individual, I want to reiterate that the 94th Precinct is registering bicycles. This service is totally free and will make tracking down your ride much easier in the event (god forbid) it is stolen. You can get the contact information for the woman spearheading this effort by clicking here (look at the second to last paragraph).

Miss Heather

From The New York Shitty Inbox: Bike Buffet?

January 25, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11222, Criminal Activity, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

Think your wheels are safe and sound if they’re in your apartment building? Think again. A Calyer Street tipster writes:

Two bicycles stolen over the weekend, including my partner’s. They did not take all the bikes, just the ones that were used the most and therefore easiest to get to. did not even take the most expensive bikes… It’s been five years that we’ve lived here and have never had to lock the bikes. It was definitely a crime of opportunity but it’s terrible – my partner and the other guy whose bike was stolen USED their bikes almost every day. everyone else whose bike was shoved in the corner rarely rides, even if their bikes were more expensive.

now i’m just worried that the thieves will come back and help themselves to the bike buffet. and i want another lock on my door.

Let this be a warning to you, my Williamspoint bicycle enthusiasts. Play it safe: be hypervigilant about keeping the entrance of your apartment building locked at all times. Better yet, keep your bicycle in your apartment. Better to suffer a little inconvenience than discover your bike has gone for a ride without you!

Miss Heather

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