Urban Artifact: Bedford Avenue

Urban Artifact nys

Taken June 10, 2015.

Greenpoint Photo Du Jour: Manhattan Avenue

workinprogress nys

Today yours truly decided to avail herself of the sunshine and take a stroll around the neighborhood. It was on Manhattan Avenue I happened upon the above item. Knowing Greenpoint genius when I see it, I opted to stop and take a photo of it. This piqued the interest of the gentleman (presumably) responsible for this piece of art. He assured me it is very much a work in progress. The end product will spell out the initials of an buddy of his: “T. T. B.”. I applauded him on his ingenuity using a commonplace object (airplane bottles of liquor, many are to be found hereabouts) and the environment (in this case, a subway grate) so as to create a work of public art. My only suggestion was he perhaps paint the bottles so as to make them more noticeable. He noted quite a few passersby made that suggestion and that he plans to not only paint the bottles (in multiple colors, by hand) but continue this work on the adjacent grates. I am guessing divesting said bottles of their contents (READ: consumption) may very well be a “recreational”/”performance” aspect of this project as well. Brilliant! I can hardly wait to see the rest of this project unfold…

New York Shitty Photos Du Jour: The Word On The Street

McGuinness Boulevard June 4 2015 nys

As spotted today, June 4th, on McGuinness Boulevard. While I am on the subject of dissent I would like to share with you, gentle readers, my latest snow globe project! While not yet complete I think you will agree it is quite wonderful.

DNAinfo Screencap1It was recently brought to my attention that our Mayor had a press event at Rockaway’s brand-spanking new boardwalk. This is in and of itself not interesting. Rather, what is that he/his created a “Free Speech Zone”. This was well removed from said “event” and therein any/all protesters were “free” to exercise their First Amendment rights.

Well, I have a problem with this kind of thing and, more importantly, the NYCLU and New York Press Club did as well. (You can read DNA.info’s article by clicking the image to the left or by clicking here.) I am not an attorney. I do not portray one on television. However, I do not think I am incorrect when I write that by creating a “Free Speech Zone” there is an implied message that everywhere else is not a “Free Speech Zone”. The First Amendment is pretty straight-forward. So much so even a “snow globe artist” can grasp it. So…

last weekend I embarked upon a “Free Speech Zone” snow globe. Today I sealed it. Tomorrow, hopefully I will fill (READ: finish) it.

Sealed Side one NYS

Side one is pretty straight forward: referencing a photo taken of Mayor DeBlasio’s press event, I replicated it.

Sealed side two nys

Side two is the “Free Speech Zone”. For logistical reasons I had to employ a metaphorical brick wall.

DNAinfo crime and mayhem nys

Some of you may recall that Ron Kuby (Yes, THAT Ron Kuby) purchased a “Stop & Frisk” snow globe from yours truly some time ago. Well, a mutual friend brought my latest project to his attention. And Mr. Kuby brought the above article (wherein he is quoted) to my attention. Note the category under which DNA.info has categorized this tome. “Crime & Mayhem”. I have to say the gentlemen featured (and I encourage each and every one of you to read their profiles) do not strike me as being purveyors of “mayhem”— but what do I know?

In closing I will leave you with this (closing) passage from the above-mentioned article.

Lawyer and radio host Ron Kuby said it’s hypocritical of the mayor to crack down on protests considering his crticisms (sic and emphasis mine — Ed. Note) of former Mayor Bloomberg.

“To come into office riding this wave of disapproval at Bloomberg over policing and contempt for dissidence, to be on the crest of that wave that says ‘no more,’ and [then] to banish a couple of people … it’s unconstitutional, it’s bad policy, it’s stupid,” Kuby said. “And it makes the mayor look very very thin skinned.”

He added that public spaces in the city are, by nature, open for free speech.

“We are all free speech zones in NYC,” Kuby said. “I am a free speech zone and so are you.”

BINGO.

Those who are interested in seeing the photo set I have created documenting the creation of the “Free Speech Zone” snow globe can do so by clicking here.

A New York Shitty Public Service Announcement: 626 Manhattan Avenue

Any/all residents of the previously-mentioned building, please pay attention— this post may very well save you some distress (and seriously soiled footwear).

Today as after exiting the Green Garden Deli on Manhattan Avenue I noticed a smell. A very bad, yet familiar smell. I looked to my left and, lo, I located the source. Read on, gentle readers, as you will see (but thankfully not smell) why this was not terribly difficult to ascertain.

diarrhea

It ain’t pretty.

unaware

Exactly how the gentleman to the right, clearly in possession of a nose, remained unaware of the colossal pile of crap just to his right eludes me. Nonetheless, you know what they say about New York City. You can get practically anything delivered right to your doorstep.

Big ass pile of shit

And, as I learned today, this includes a prodigious pile of poop large replete with a value-added asswipe. Watch where you walk, Garden Spotters!

From The New York Shitty Photo Pool: Greenpoint

May 31, 2015 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

Greenpoint

Taken by Scott Dolan.

From The New York Shitty Inbox: Save Greenpoint

SAVEGreenpointNYS

A person we’ll call “abc” writes:

Hi Miss Heather,

This may be old news by now but saw from the ferry this morning that our beloved ‘Save the Palestine’ water tower now (less-legibly) reads something else— ‘Save GPOINT’
These days it would seem Greenpoint could use some saving.
Indubitably. Well played, anonymous vandal!

Quicklink: Drawbridge Goes On…

Gothamistsc

Gothamist really nailed this headline (click on the above image for the full “story”). The Brooklyn Barge Bar is about a lot of other things than booze. Thus why I am sharing for everyone’s edification the statement issued by Community Board 1 Brooklyn’s SLA/DCA Committee recommending this liquor license be denied. Enjoy some facts for a change, gentle readers!

CB!BBBnys

Community Board 1 Brooklyn voted against this liquor license being granted.

Sewage Discharge Point, Broklyn Barge Bar

Who does not want to feast upon a $22.00 skirt steak next to a sewage discharge point?

Brooklyn Barge Bar site, 5/13/2015

I guess we’ll find out soon enough.

Brooklyn Barge Bar Site, 5/13/2015

P.S.: If Bedford + Bowery is listening: exactly when are you going to approve my comment? Simply curious.

Still waiting

Great Moments In Greenpoint Siding: Special DIY Motor Vehicle Edition

May 1, 2015 ·
Filed under: 11222, GENIUS, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

DIY nys

Yes, gentle readers, that is plywood which has be re-purposed (and painted) so as to constitute a door. Is it my intention to ridicule the person responsible for this creation, you ask? Absolutely not. I have a very, VERY high respect for this kind of ingenuity. What’s more, it has a “retro” (a la “woodie”) touch. Well done!

Crosstown Local Photos Du Jour: Great Moments In Advertising Placement

Great moments in advertising nys

Those of you who have not done so already really should to take a moment to enjoy this amusing (and therefore completely unintentional) choice of advertising placement courtesy of the M.T.A. On the left we have Amy Schumer. As you can see she is flanked by a number of buttocks. This is of course in reference to this sketch. On the right we have an advertisement for buttock enhancement because apparently folks do in fact have and will expend $3,900 to get a bigger ass. Who knew?

This being the G train it goes without saying that both advertisements have been “enhanced”. The advertisement on the right received a fart cloud. Nice. Ms. Schumer on the other hand (quite literally)…

Happy Snail nys

got this happy little snail. Given the vandalism modus operandi hereabouts (penis in mouth) I am going to take this as a sign of respect— possibly even fan-dom. Right on.

Now At The Sunshine Laundromat: MSG-FEST 2015

MSG Fest 2015 nys

You can always reply upon the fine folks at Greenpoint’s very own Sunshine Laundromat for a good chuckle. Well done. Keep ’em coming!

(Taken April 25, 2015.)

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