New & Noteworthy: Pink Crack Kills

April 6, 2009 ·
Filed under: Advanced Life Forms, Bushwick 

pinkcrackkillsrayliotta

I have long been of the opinion that the very special place that is Bushwick is sorely under-represented in the Brooklyn blogosphere. Needless to say when I received the following email I was tickled pink to learn the good news about Pink Crack Kills:

I like your blog about shit. I know that you stray to other topics, which is important, but the underlying thread that really makes the posts a part of a bigger whole is shit, and that’s good. I too, have a blog that deals with Brooklyn’s unsanitary side. It’s really the web presence for a zine that I, along with a few friends, publish a few times a year, but one of our favorite topics is used condoms on the streets of NYC. The vast majority of these come from Bushwick because I live there and I’m pretty sure we have more used condoms per capita than any other neighborhood in the 5 boroughs. My eyes however, are always open and my camera always ready, so Williamsburg and the ever-elusive Manhattan street condom show up whenever I see them… So I guess what I’m trying to say is check us out.

Jonathan W. Smith, C.E.O. pinkcrackkills.com

Check them out I did. Not only did I find some of the promised used prophylactics but gems such as the photograph gracing the beginning of this post were also awaiting my delectation. Congratulations Bushwick, you have finally gotten the web presence you so richly deserve. Check it out!

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Fashion Watch: The Aviator

March 15, 2009 ·
Filed under: Advanced Life Forms, Greenpoint Magic 

I have lived in Greenpoint for over nine years now. It certainly doesn’t feel like I have lived here the better part of a decade but this in fact the case. I guess time flies when you’re having fun. As time has gone by I have witnessed a number of highly unusual things in my neighborhood of choice. This includes (but by no means is limitied to):

  1. Watching an old Polish woman drop her underwear and go to the bathroom at a temporary stop of the B43 bus.
  2. Having as a neighbor a woman who wore a sleeping bag wrapped around her head like a turban.
  3. Finding a man passed out cold on the stairs leading up to his stoop at 2:00 a.m. in the morning. His car keys were still in his hand but someone had seen fit to steal his shoes.
  4. Jessica.
  5. Learning that a one armed man is one of the junk shops most ingenious shoplifters: he even succeeded in stealing a pair of shoes once. (Think about this one for a moment.)
  6. And of course there was the legally blind guy who wanted me to “model” for some “pin up” photographs.

Suffice it to say the Garden Spot of the Universe had (and still has) some highly unusual people. What would probably merit a 911 call in Brooklyn Heights would not get some much as second glance here. Have I become jaded? This is a distinct possibility. However I know something (or someone) special when I see it. Which brings me to this guy.

theaviator

I apologize for the poor quality of this photograph. The truth of the matter is I was in awe at the sheer sublimity of what the Greenpoint gods had seen fit to send my direction. I have christened this chap “The Aviator” and he is too fucking amazing for words.

aviatordeconstructed

I quietly (but very excitedly) stalked this man until he stopped to pause in front of a liquor store. I got up the nerve to speak with him. I mean, how often do you see a guy walking down the street who  is a dead ringer for one of the frogmen from the movie Delicatessen? Don’t everyone answer at once.

Where did you get those goggles? They are fucking amazing.

I asked. To wit he replied:

I really like this absinthe fountain. Every time I try my prepare it at home I just don’t get it right.

Why don’t you go inside and ask about it? I am certain he will sell it to you.

I replied.

Oh, he is selling them. I like that because I won’t have to order one.

And with that remark he went on his way.

InFUCKINGcredible.

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Fashion Watch

The last twenty four hours my inbox has been abuzz with fashion. More specifically the stylings of a certain physician whose office is on Greenpoint Avenue between Manhattan Avenue and Franklin Street.

Bitchcakes writes:

Walking up Greenpoint Ave yesterday (from Franklin going towards Manhattan Ave), Matt and I noticed this advertisement in a window (attached). It was just screaming your name, so I had to make sure you saw it.

Mike writes:

My name is Mike, I’m one of the writers of the NAG blog– thanks for the bloggy love- we got a lot of hits from you.

This isn’t NAG blog material, but totally up your alley…

The attached picture is of a poster is in one of the newly-renovated buildings on the south side of Greenpoint Ave b/t Manhattan and Franklin. Everything about it says “please don’t let this man touch your privates, even in a medical context.”

What is all the Garden Spot fuss about, you ask?

This guy.

Nice bow tie.

Miss Heather

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