(please write your response)

September 13, 2007 ·
Filed under: Bushwick 

Someone in Bushwick Hates White People

I found the above poster on Moore Street after patronizing one of the “ghetto Starbucks” I have heard so much buzz about lately. After searching high and low for an eightball, all I got was a lousy bottle of seltzer and a little repartee instead.

9 Year Old Boy: Anyone who has hair that color looks like they came from the circus.
Me: (circus escapee, turning around)
10 Year Old Girl: I think it’s pretty.
(smiling to the store owner and children): Thank you. I am not from the circus, by the way. I am from Greenpoint.


It has long been my experience that having a sense of humor and treating people with respect can turn almost any situation around. I am not so stupid or arrogant as to believe there are no legitimate reasons why this child (or the author of the above missive which, THANK GOD, is NOT a haiku) harbors a belligerent attitude towards “white people”. Speaking as one such “white person” who has had a fair amount of abuse leveled at her from other “white people” over the years— usually for the way I lookedI empathize with them.

A little compassion goes a long way. Too bad there aren’t more “white people” who practice it. The world would be a much nicer place if they did.*

Miss Heather

*Then again, what would I know? I live in the big top that is Greenpoint after all. Our need for over-priced and over-sweetened coffee has been filled by a corporate entity: we have a Starbucks.


September 12, 2007 ·
Filed under: Bushwick 

White Street Couch

Judging by how painstakingly this couch (which is located on White Street, just south of Johnson Avenue) is “gift wrapped” I strongly suspect it contains six-legged presents of the biting kind. All you Bushwick bedbuggers out there take note: do not bring home the Naugahyde sofa on White Street. You’ll be glad you did(n’t)!

Miss Heather

North Brooklyn Street Theater

August 25, 2007 ·
Filed under: Bushwick, Greenpoint Magic 

This evening my husband and a number of friends went out to dinner. Among the people present was my friend Chin who I have known for years. She lives in Bushwick and I (of course) live in Greenpoint. Over dinner the subject of neighborhood spectacles was brought to the table and as luck would have it, I had a choice morsel to share from this morning.

Before I go to the junk shop I swing by the Garden and pick up a few refreshments. This morning was no different— save something I overheard a man shouting into his cell phone on Java Street:

Welcome to the suicide hotline. Your call is important to us, so please stay on the line for the next available operator.

This elicited a chorus of chuckles from the table, as well it should. Then my buddy Chin remembered something she overheard recently. During the commission of a crime, no less.

She was at the Duck Duck Bar. After snatching a woman’s laptop computer, a pair of young toughs bolted out of this establishment. A handful of hipsters gave chase. The teenage thieves were caught, but not before tossing out one of the finest anti-hipster insults I have ever heard (albeit second-hand):

I can get a gun before you can get a job!

Someone should make a t-shirt with this phrase emblazoned on it. I know I’d buy one. How about you?

Miss Heather

Upcoming Events in North Brooklyn

August 23, 2007 ·
Filed under: Bushwick, Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

Second Line Promo

Ad Hoc Art is having an opening this Saturday, August 25th from 6:00 p.m. – 11:00 p.m. The group show is entitled Second Line: Art and Film related to the Gulf Coast and features a piece from a former Greenpointer/neighbor of mine, Deborah Fisher. For more details, click on the above image and you will be directed to Ad Hoc’s web site or give them a call at:

Ad Hoc Art
49 Bogart Street (between Seigel and Grattan)
Brooklyn, NY 11206
(718) 366-2466

In related Bushwick/artistic news, 3rd Ward is having an open call for submissions for an upcoming show entitled Art Ate New York. Those of you who are interested in entering this “renegade art competition” need to:

Create something public, profound and just left-of-legal and you will have a chance of winning loot/fame. We are looking for renegade sculpture, poster-work, performance, spray-can-art or anything else we haven’t thought of. It must be publicly placed.

As you can imagine, yours truly is quite interested in this opportunity. If my $50,000 of student loan debt gave me anything (other than a great education and more than a few gray hairs), it provided me a forum to act out in any manner I saw fit and get good grades for it. Maybe I’ll reprise Miss Heather’s Hunny Hut, a concession stand dedicated to augmenting mixed drinks by adding copious amounts of Ready Whip and beating them into frothy perfection using a Black and Decker Drill with a large rubber dildo affixed to it? Then again, maybe I won’t. As Professor Ping said in Barbarella:

…who knows, genius is mysterious!

Even if I don’t win, if the person who does allows me to use his/her winning prize of a three month supply of Red Bull for cocktail fodder, I would still consider it a good use of my time.

To get the full lowdown and competition specs, click here.

3rd Ward
195 Morgan Avenue
Brooklyn, NY 11206

Night of the Living Zedd

As I mentioned in an earlier post, East Coast Aliens is hosting the first of a series of Nick Zedd films (featuring the one and only Rev Jen) this upcoming Sunday evening. For more details, check out their web site or click here.

Green Dome Flyer

Lastly, there will be a fundraiser for Greenburg’s (or Williamspoint’s) very own Dome Garden Monday, August 27th at Enid’s. This garden (just across the street from the universe’s very own Garden Spot) is a lovely respite from the increasingly corporate (and ugly) character of the neighborhood surrounding it. Even if an evening at Enid’s strikes you as being pure hell, please pitch in to this great cause. Donate, volunteer, whatever suits you. Just do it!

Miss Heather

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