Holiday Art Sales This Weekend

December 7, 2007 ·
Filed under: Area 51, Bushwick 

Gowanus Craft Sale

94 9 Street will be conducting their Holiday Art Sale this weekend, December 8 & 9, and next weekend, December 15 & 16, from 12:00 – 5:00 p.m. Twenty resident artists will have drawings, paintings, sculpture, photographs and jewelry for sale. All items will be priced at $500 or less, which for fine art is crazy cheap nowadays.

WHAT: 94 9 Street Holiday Art Sale

WHEN: December 8 & 9, December 15 & 16, 12:00 – 5:00 p.m.

WHERE: 94 9 Street, top floor, Brooklyn, New York 11215

HOW (to get there): Take the G or F to Smith and 9th Street or the R to 4th Avenue

You know, it has been some time since I have graced south Brooklyn with my presence. Methinks I will attend this event, buy a handmade goody or two and then take a little stroll in the Slope with my good buddy Chopper the Second.

Miss Heather

P.S.: Those of you looking for something a little closer to home should check out 3rd Ward’s Handmade Holiday Craft Fair and Open House tomorrow, December 8, 12:00 – 8:00 p.m. My buddy over at Greenpointers has the scoop about this way-cool event, you can read it here.

A Couple Upcoming Events

November 30, 2007 ·
Filed under: Bushwick, Greenpoint Magic 

There are a couple of exciting things going down in north Brooklyn this weekend. Without further ado, here they are.

Arts in Bushwick

Arts in Bushwick will be hosting Open Spaces Sunday, December 2 from noon until 8:00 p.m. Per their MySpace page:

Presented by Arts in Bushwick “Open Spaces” is a day of curated group shows in galleries and alternative art spaces. Over 30 galleries, local businesses and private residences will be hosting interdisciplinary shows centered around the Morgan and Jefferson stops of the L train. The creative energy and diversity of the Bushwick art community with be on display through an impressive variety of media: performance , visual installation, dance , poetry and music. Shows are open from 12 to 8pm and festivities continue into the night with live music, comedy and dance party.

Those of you who are interested in attending can get programs and maps the day of the event at:

  • The Morgan and Jefferson stops of the L
  • ADHOC art (49 Bogart Street)
  • The Wyckoff Starr (30 Wyckoff Avenue) and all the host spaces.
  • Or by clicking on the above image.

Tomorrow, December 1, The Diamond Bar will start accepting coats and canned goods for donation to NY Cares and the Greenpoint Reformed Church’s food pantry. Here are the details per their web site:

We want to gather coats for the 19th annual NY Cares coat drive and cans for the new food pantry at the Greenpoint Reformed Church. Whether or not you are a Christian, Muslim, or atheist, it doesn’t matter… these guys are getting food to people who need it in the community. Starting December 1, every can of food buys you a raffle ticket. Every gently used coat buys you ten raffle tickets. You’ve got until 12/17 to bring us stuff and gather your tickets.

The raffle will be conducted the evening of the 17th. Please note that ticket holders must be present in order to win. Prizes include a one night hotel and one day ski lift ticket for two at Belleayre in the Catskills and a $50.00 bar tab.

The Diamond Bar
43 Franklin Street
Brooklyn, New York 11222
(718) 383-5030

I know I will be taking some foodstuffs and a coat (or two) to the Diamond Bar this weekend. How about you?

Miss Heather

North Brooklyn Speaks Up About Bush

November 26, 2007 ·
Filed under: Area 51, Bushwick, Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

On Thanksgiving my husband and I went for a walk. We sort of had to because the sound of assholes beating on metal at 9:00 in the morning renders my apartment uninhabitable. Nonetheless, I mustered up enough holiday spirit to hang out my window and shout:

Happy Thanksgiving, SCABS!

before heading to Williamsburg. When we reached North 11th Street, I found the following.

Anybody but…

I think the intended message here is to elect anyone but a Republican. The Grand Old Party isn’t very popular in my corner of Brooklyn. George W. Bush is even less so (if that is possible).

Exhibit A: Morgan Avenue, Bushwick

Bush Lies

Exhibit B: Kent Avenue, Williamsburg

Fuck Bush

And last, but hardly least…

Exhibit C: Nassau Avenue stop of the Crosstown Local, Greenpoint


Ryan, the incredibly gracious chap who gave me permission to use the above photo, notes:

None-too-subtle tag that’s always all over the Nassau G station. Usually the grammar is a bit better.

Very true. These rather angry missives usually read “KILL THIS FUCKEN TYRANT BUSH NOW“. They would also be found at the Greenpoint Avenue Station on occasion as well. Sadly, the Garden Spot’s finest Bushwhacker appears to have left us…

Jackass II

but his (or her) spirit lives on.

Seven years down, one to go.

Miss Heather

P.S.: Those of you who crave another morsel of north Brooklyn Bush hating can get a quick fix by clicking here.

McKibben Street Loft Dwellers: Time to Winterize!

November 14, 2007 ·
Filed under: Bushwick 

It’s been awhile since I have paid my neighbors to the south a little visit. Intrigued to learn how the residents of the McKibben Street lofts are faring, I swung by earlier this week to see what’s shaking. That’s where I found the following example of hipster-directed advertising.

Time to winterize!

Who knew Bob Marley music was such a problem there? I didn’t. I always thought the bedbug epidemic, dog shit strafed sidewalks and having an illegal strip club in one’s basement (which was the case of 155 McKibben several years ago) would be torment enough. All that and the prospect of having to winterize their windows? Poor dears.

Miss Heather

Bushwick Apartment For Rent: Chicken Lovers’ Special

October 30, 2007 ·
Filed under: Area 51, Bushwick, Crazy People 

Bushwick chicken lovers rejoice, Miss Heather has found the apartment for you! Where, you ask? Where else: that magical place called Craigslist!

Cornelia Street Chicken Coop

I don’t know, $1,400 sounds like an awful lot of money for this neighborhood. Chickens or not. I cry fowl.

Miss Heather

P.S.: Thanks for passing this along James. This made my day.

Bogart Street Stinky Shit Sign

September 23, 2007 ·
Filed under: Bushwick, Dog Shit Signage, Williamsburg 

Last week I found the following little fella on Bogart just north of Moore Street.

Clean up your shit

I would have missed this splendid sign had I not been busy watching the sidewalk for dog bombs (and there were plenty, believe you me). The visual representation of the stench wafting up from the pile of poo is a nice touch. Then again, what else would we expect from the artists’ haven that is East Williamsburg, Bushwick, East Williamsburg— I give up: here?

Miss Heather

Belvidere Street: The New Freeman?

September 21, 2007 ·
Filed under: Bushwick, Greenpoint Magic 

I recently had to moderate a most curious comment regarding my latest post about Freeman Street. Jeffrey writes:

I actually don’t find this entertaining or funny. I live on Freeman and have a kid, and I am so sick of people acting like idiots around here. 100 Freeman is an illegal loft building. They never shovel their sidewalk in winter. A few weeks ago, we saw a guy doing crack on the sidewalk outside the building at 2 in the afternoon. People never pick of dog shit on Freeman, and I’m not pointing fingers, but there’s a lot of dogs in that building. Why can’t people grow the hell up! I’m about to move to Park Slope with the other adults.

When I was looking to move seven or so years ago, Greenpoint was on my list of neighborhoods to research. In order to make an informed decision as to whether or not I would commit to moving here, I made numerous trips to the neighborhood and walked around. I like to get a feel for what I might be obligating myself to ahead of time. My main criteria were:

  1. Access to transportation
  2. Good grocery stores
  3. Personal Safety

Greenpoint passed with flying colors, but I also noted there were a lot of drunks, crack heads and overall chicanery to be found. This was the compromise I had to make. I have learned that waiting for people to “grow up” as Jeffrey put it, is a fruitless effort. Most don’t. Even Especially in Park Slope*. Which brings me to this, my final and finest Freeman Street story.

It was 2:00 a.m., and after a late dinner and cocktails, my friend Chin needed to walk her dog. I went to bed (a decision I regret to this day, read on and find out why); my husband accompanied her. They went to Freeman Street. As they approached Manhattan Avenue they saw something moving on the sidewalk. Assuming it was a homeless person, they paid it no mind. Fifteen feet away they finally noticed what it was— and it noticed them; it was two people fucking. Right on the sidewalk. Outside of Tommy’s Tavern. Twenty feet away from Manhattan Avenue.

It was an awkward moment for everyone involved: the fucker, the fuckee, my husband, my friend— even her dog.

The point I am getting at with this story is this: weird shit happens here— and some of it is funny. To expect things to change is, in my humble opinion, ridiculous. This is New York City. If someone sees fit to fornicate al fresco, he (and/or she) is going to do it. The previous is not exclusively a Greenpoint avocation either.

Pump and Shit

Looks like something happened.

Blue Condom

Safe sex was involved.

Yellow Condom

Quite a bit of it.

Broken Pump

And it was good enough to break the heel off a nice shoe. Wow.

Of course the punchline is where I found the above tableau…

Belvidere and Beaver

The intersection of Belvidere and Beaver Street in… drumroll please…


Miss Heather

*Go to The Tea Lounge and see for yourself.

When Advertecture Attacks: Bushwick Style

September 20, 2007 ·
Filed under: Bushwick 

Today’s example of legally questionable signage hails from Bushwick, 11206.

Your health is our concern

Call me cynical, but obstructing the windows of an apartment building strikes me as being rather unhealthy. Especially in the event of a fire. Those of you who care to view this exercise in irony (and poor product placement) can find it at 593 Bushwick Avenue.

593 Bushwick Avenue

I realize the previous is a pretty obscure thoroughfare*, so I have thoughtfully linked to a map lest anyone from the Department of Buildings (or the F.D.N.Y.) cares to investigate it.

Miss Heather

*This is sarcasm.

Montrose Avenue Mystery

September 19, 2007 ·
Filed under: Bushwick, Dog Shit Signage 

As I reported last month, even Bushwick’s dog shit signs are getting a face lift in anticipation the numerous “hip” and “affluent” people who will (undoubtedly) flock to this up and coming neighborhood. Hell, when I see a masterpiece like this it makes me want to tell my landlord to go fuck himself and hop on the next B43 bus. Just kidding.

Anyhoo, as I was walking down Montrose Avenue today I noticed the now infamous sign at 165 has been replaced again!

If I catch you…

Note the use of red marker and black quotation marks. I’m not too sure what’s up with the black lines, though. Follows is a picture of its predecessor.


I have to say I prefer the typography on this one, but nothing beats the original.


If any of “you” yes, you know the story behind this latest change in signage please shoot me an email; I’m dying to know.

Miss Heather


September 19, 2007 ·
Filed under: Bushwick, Greenpoint Magic, Long Island City 


In keeping with this week’s Newtown Creek stink spirit, today I present to you an article from the August 24, 1881 edition of the Brooklyn Daily Eagle. Although a little longer than I prefer to post, this tome paints a very clear picture of how long this body of water has been permitted to fester. Not only was it used a dumping ground by petroleum refiners, but savory stuff such as vitriol and offal were thrown in for good measure. Enjoy!

BDE 8/24/1881

It has come to my attention that a number of Brooklynites think Newtown Creek is exclusively a Greenpoint problem: it isn’t. The photo at the beginning of this post was taken in English Kills. Don’t know where that is? No problem, here’s a map.

I have been advised that anyone who is interested in (seeing and) smelling the stench firsthand (and yes, I have gotten inquiries of this nature) should contact the Newtown Creek Alliance. You can be directed to their web site by clicking here.

Miss Heather

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