Crosstown Local Photo Du Jour: F*ck Fare Hikes

April 28, 2009 ·
Filed under: Clinton Hill, Crosstown Local 

fuckfarehikes

You can always leave it to our friends in Clinton Hill to set the record straight as to how we G trainers feel about the Metropolitan Transit Authority.

Miss Heather

The 460 Clinton Avenue Panopticon

April 27, 2009 ·
Filed under: Clinton Hill, Dog Shit Signage 

This week our good friend Richard came to town. I wanted to go to East Williamsburg; the Mister wanted to go to the Navy Yard. We did both— which presented a problem. Outside the confines of 11211, 11222, 11206, and 11237 I get fuzzy. What’s more the Mister and I engender the same belief about maps: they’re for assholes. Which brings me to this.

460-clinton-ave

As Bugs Bunny would say:

I took a wrong turn at Albuqueque.

While the Mister was deciphering our misdirection I spied the following bit of dog shit signage.

theblockwatchers

The Block SEES YOU
MORNING & NIGHT
This is not a poopy park. Please taKe your dogs poop home and & flush! Don’t think the Block Watchers Don’t SEE you. You have lined the front of this house with poop. You continue to fill my garbage can with your dog poop. You have NOW forced ME to install A CAMERA. Please, Please take poop home & flush. Thank you. 460 Clinton Avenue.

The verbose nature of this sign, generous use of duct tape and random capital letters leads me to believe this person is serious. Or seriously pissed off.

Miss Heather

New York Shitty Day Ender: Redemption

April 26, 2009 ·
Filed under: Clinton Hill, Williamsburg 

Sunday is (ostensibly) a day of rest and spiritual contemplation in most of north Brooklyn. Hence why I’m going to end this day’s posts with the following.

abandon-all-hope

Abandon all hope ye who use this pay phone (on Graham Avenue).

captain-zorikh

But redemption can be found down the street.

captains-prefer-fedders

Sort of.

182-graham-avenue

Per Captain Zorikh this is the place to get it. For the record 182 Graham Avenue is a SRO. Single. Room. Occupancy. Where, long ago, I had one of the most interesting— and curiously enough— least degrading (but odd) interviews for a sublet I have ever had. You can leave it to Dutch dominatrix to separate the wheat from the chaff. Or give me street cred for looking at a lavender wall replete with paddles, whips, chains and not being perturbed. In my (admittedly limited) experience the above-board sexual perverts (and I mean this in the kindest way) are benign. It’s the co-called normal ones, e.g.; bohunks wearing New York Yankees ball caps incorrectly (READ: backwards) who are dangerous.* But I digress.

A few years later I went to a party in same said building and told Mister Heather:

Had I not landed the apartment we have now, this is where I would have lived. You can still see the indentations where the restraints were anchored to the wall.

I failed miserably in the cooler-than-thou world that is the East Williamsburg apartment share scene. Which is curious because I excel at failure— something many East Williamsburg artists court— albeit ironically. I suppose I didn’t look stylish enough in my desperation. Or was *gasp* TOO OLD. So in Greenpoint remained. THANK GOD.

the-love-chapel

The Love Chapel: R.I.P. and available to rent!

jesus-saves-on-graham-ave

But Jesus still saves.

jesus-vs-the-beast

And Satan is around the corner!

redemption-on-navy-streetnys

You want redemption? The best place I found today was on Navy Street in DUMBO. Good luck.

Miss Heather

*Those of you who seek them can find them in the East Village.

Urban Artifact Du Jour: Sarah, Get Your Gun!

April 26, 2009 ·
Filed under: Clinton Hill, Urban Artifact 

Today your truly has sojourned through no less than Greenpoint, East Williamsburg, Clinton Hill and around the Navy Yard. We have company in town and decided to take our friend on the grand tour, if you will. It was towards the end of our excursion that I found the following gem on Clinton Avenue just underneath the Brooklyn Queens Expressway.

s-palinnys

I’m not too sure what kind of game Ms. Palin was hunting in the wilderness of Clinton Hill but it looks like whatever it was got the better of her.

Miss Heather

P.S.: Although I already have far too much weird crap laying around this apartment already I brought this item home. Unless I hear from our favorite former Vice Presidential candidate I plan to make an art object out of it. Be advised that buttplug will probably be involved.

New York Shitty Day Ender: Zoo York

April 8, 2009 ·
Filed under: Brooklyn, Clinton Hill, Greenpoint Magic, Park Slope, Williamsburg 

blackdog

5th Avenue

washingtonaveboxer

Washington Avenue

deer

St. Mark’s Avenue

bedfordavedog

dogonbedford

Bedford Avenue

snake

pig

Metropolitan Avenue

zebratruck

North 1 Street

iguana

Nassau Avenue

twosome

Manhattan Avenue

Miss Heather

NOTEWORTHY: Somewhere In Queens

February 27, 2009 ·
Filed under: Astoria, Clinton Hill, Ft. Greene, Long Island City, Queens, Sunnyside 

xdoobiex (the gentleman who tipped me off to the following item writes):

…first,  this is a little promotion for my friend.. i am not sure if you want to post it.. but he needs exposure… see attachment…

queensflyer

Granted, this is still a little ways off. But I am very excited about checking out this show (which, amusingly enough, is located in in the county of Kings).

Somewhere In Queens, Alex Segreti
Opening Reception: March 9, 2009 6:00 – 9:00 p.m.
Pratt Institute Media Arts Gallery
Steuben Hall, 3rd Floor
200 Willoughby Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11205

Miss Heather

Brooklyn Photo du Jour: No Standing St. Nick!

November 27, 2008 ·
Filed under: Clinton Hill, Navy Yard 

From Franklin Avenue.

Miss Heather

Thanksgiving, Black Friday And Beyond!

November 27, 2008 ·
Filed under: Clinton Hill, Ft. Greene, Greenpoint Magic 

First off, busy or forgetful oenophiles in Greenpoint will be happy to know Dandelion Wine will be open today from 11:00 a.m. – 3:00 p.m. to serve your vino needs!

Dandy Wine
153 Franklin Street
Brooklyn, New York 11222

I don’t know about you, but the one thing I really love about New York City on a holiday weekend is the peace and quiet: e.g.; the two percenters are out of town! What’s more, there’s no need to go to Manhattan to do your holiday shopping this weekend. There’s plenty of action here in north(ish) Brooklyn. Fuck chain stores! Here are a couple (more) places you can get your gift-giving on. And benefit small businesses to boot!

Miss Wit (the brains behind this shirt and bona fide Sunset Parker to boot) will be at large at the ‘Flea this Sunday. Or you can make her acquaintance the previous day in *sniff* Manhattan.

If it doesn’t involve riding the G train I am not interested. 99.44% of what’s worthwhile in life is the journey, not the destination. Anyone who has patronized the Crosstown Local as long (or longer) than I have will tell you this.

The Brooklyn Flea
Sunday, November 30, 2008, 10:00 a.m. – 5:00 p.m.
357 Clermont Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11238

Last— but hardly least— Greenpoint’s very own Dalaga is having a sale. With champagne, no less! Per their press release:

Come on in and don’t worry about the cold… we will be serving champagne Friday, Saturday, and Sunday to warm you up. Let’s get this gorgeous holiday started!

Indeed.

Dalaga
150 Franklin Street
Brooklyn, New York 1122
2

Free champagne = I’m there!

Miss Heather

Brooklyn Photo du Jour: Advice

November 25, 2008 ·
Filed under: Clinton Hill 

From Taaffe Place.

Miss Heather

Brooklyn Photo du Jour: Gollum

November 22, 2008 ·
Filed under: Clinton Hill 

From Dekalb Avenue.

Miss Heather

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