Clinton Hill Photos du Jour: Salute

November 21, 2008 ·
Filed under: Clinton Hill 

Good Morning Afghanistan!

Good morning from Myrtle Avenue!

Miss Heather

Fedders Friday Part II: The New Style Cont’d

November 21, 2008 ·
Filed under: Articles of Fedderization, Bed-Stuy, Clinton Hill, Fedders Friday 

I would like to open this post with what is easily my favorite comment of the week. On November 18, 2008 superclam wrote:

Heather, I’m impressed. It’s both my job and my hobby to look at ugly buildings, and that is an exceptionally ugly building. Two distinct styles, and they both suck.

Speaking as someone who is not employed to look at ugly buildings but whose hobby is searching them out nonetheless I am really flattered by this endorsement from a professional. What’s more, it makes me think of this beauty from Greene Avenue in Clinton Hill.

By all appearances it looks like the architect of this building started with a Modernist vision on the right but changed his (or her) mind one third of the way through. I suppose it really doesn’t matter what “style” this building is. It’s still uglier as homemade sin.

On a clear day in Bedford Stuyvesant you can see Fedders forever, and ever, and ever more!

I am one of nine.

You will be assimilated.

They must have some pretty bad drivers down in Bed Stuy is the developer feels compelled to erect pylons like this.

bodmin brought up a very salient point when he/she noted the solitary advantage of living in a Fedderplex such as previous…

or this…

or this…

or this:

No matter what it looks like on the inside, the great advantage of living in it would be that when you were home you wouldn’t have to look at the exterior!

How very true.

What’s more those exposed electrical meters are a darned convenient place to rest your coffee cup while you get out your keys.

There’s always ample parking.

And not just for automobiles either.

Knish carts are also welcome with open arms.

Miss Heather

Fedders Friday Photo du Jour: Taaffe Place

November 21, 2008 ·
Filed under: Clinton Hill, Fedders Friday 

I could not think of a better image to kick off this Fedders Friday than this lovely assortment of Fedders panels hailing from Classon Avenue in Clinton Hill. Stay tuned folks, today I have a lot of Fedderific magic up my sleeve!

Miss Heather

Rides: Greenpoint Vs. Bedford Stuyvesant Part II

November 20, 2008 ·
Filed under: Bed-Stuy, Clinton Hill, Greenpoint Magic 

Beadel Street, Greenpoint.

Anthony Street, Greenpoint.

From Lexington Avenue, Bedford Stuyvesant.

Miss Heather

Great Moments In Advertising To Procreating Gentrifiers

November 20, 2008 ·
Filed under: Clinton Hill 

When you push it… we feel your pain.

After I quit giggling my ass off at this ad (from Greene Avenue) many thoughts came to mind. The least off-color of them was as follows:

Childbirth (the end all and be all of “pushing it”) has to be much more painful than pushing a stroller. Does Motrin feel this pain?

Because I sure as fuck don’t want to. Perhaps I’m getting old but how the hell can a stroller weigh thirty pounds?!? Does it sport Corinthian leather, GPS, a full wet bar (for mommy) and a surround-sound entertainment system? I really want to know.

If for no other reason because if the bennies are right, e.g.; bench-pressing my 30 pound stroller (with crotchling on board) and Motrin feeling my pain I might reconsider my child-free lifestyle.*

Miss Heather

P.S.: You can text “stroller” to 34264 to hear the rest of the story! Welcome to the wonderland that is high technology: more advertising.

*HAHAHAHA!

Brooklyn Photos du Jour: The Writing On The Wall

November 19, 2008 ·
Filed under: Clinton Hill, Dog Shit Signage, Greenpoint Magic, Navy Yard, Queens, Williamsburg 

This angry missive to one “Mayor Moo Moo” hails from Steuben Street and comes courtesy of “B.O.M.B.”: Brooklyn’s Other Museum of Brooklyn (whose web site appears to currently be parked). You can see more of their missives (and believe you me they have a lot to say) by checking out my photo set on flickr.

And while I’m at it, clean up after your damned dogs already! Sheesh.

Miss Heather

P.S.: On a related note some of you might find this web site interesting. Someone should erect a site like this counting the days until IDT Energy* figures out that everyone and their damned dog knows about the scam they’re running. Any takers?

*Those of you who have had the pleasure of interfacing with these people (as I have) please contact your duly elected officials and make them aware of this scam. For those of you who live in/around Greenpoint, Williamsburg and the Navy Yard (and beyond— for example, the 12th district includes much of the Lower East Side and a substantial chunk of Queens) the following information should be helpful:

U.S. Representative Nydia Velazquez, here’s a map of her district:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:New_York_District_12_109th_US_Congress.png

New York Representative Joseph Lentol, here’s a map of his district:

http://assembly.state.ny.us/mem/?ad=050&sh=map

Great Moments In Abjectecture: It Came From Clinton Hill

November 18, 2008 ·
Filed under: Abjectecture, Articles of Fedderization, Clinton Hill, Vomit 

I live in north Brooklyn. If that alone isn’t enough “street cred” to assess ugly buildings here’s something else.

I have watched this abomination of a “modification” blossom on Broadway. This building was once was exactly like its friend to your left. No more. Don’t believe me? Click here and see for yourself.

Which brings me to the purpose of this post. I have often asked myself:

What would happen if a balconized piece of abjectecture was “upzoned” thus further crappified?

Yesterday, dear readers, I got my answer. And it came from Clinton Hill:

THIS.

It hails from Lexington Avenue— and while more diminutive in stature than most of its craptastic brethren— I can honestly say it is one of the most hideous buildings I have ever seen. Given where I live (Greenpoint) that’s really saying something. It’s like they made it up as they went along. And, in all likelihood, they probably did.

Miss Heather

P.S.: Note how the “keystones” are carried over to the addition. Classy.

Obamarama: Yes We Did!

November 17, 2008 ·
Filed under: Clinton Hill, Ft. Greene, Williamsburg 

Sure the election is over but there’s still plenty of Barack goodness to go around. Here are a few of my favorite bits of Obamarama from Brooklyn and beyond!

Washington Avenue, Brooklyn.

Clifton Place, Brooklyn.

Grattan Street, Brooklyn.

North 4th Street, Brooklyn.

Chicago, Illinois.

Those of you who like the “FIRST” posters can order one by clicking here.

Miss Heather

Photo Credits: Chi-town pix, Mr. Heather

Brooklyn Boobification Photos du Jour: Navy Yard Style

November 17, 2008 ·
Filed under: Boobification, Clinton Hill, Navy Yard 

Today I decided on a lark to knock around the Brooklyn Navy Yard. Sensing that there may be opportunities for boobification present at this location I packed the girls and hit the road. My instincts were on target.

Steuben Playground

Nestled next to the BQE between Flushing Avenue and (what else?) Steuben Street this park is named after a Prussian army officer and who was a general in the American Revolution: Baron Friedrich Wilhelm Ludolf Gerhard Augustus von Steuben. He made a number of contributions to the Continental Army but follows (courtesy of US History dot org) is my personal favorite:

Another program developed by Steuben was camp sanitation. He established a standards of sanitation and camp layouts that would still be standard a century and a half later. There had previously been no set arrangement of tents and huts. Men relieved themselves where they wished and when an animal died, it was stripped of its meat and the rest was left to rot where it lay. Stueben laid out a plan to have rows for command, officers and enlisted men. Kitchens and latrines were on opposite sides of the camp, with latrines on the downhill side. There was the familiar arrangement of company and regimental streets.

I know what you’re thinking:

If this man advanced what it is now known as the “don’t shit where you eat” policy, why are there two boars gracing the park which bears his name?

Here’s the answer per the New York City Parks Department:

In 2000, Steuben Playground underwent a comprehensive $938,000 reconstruction funded by Council Member Mary Pinkett. The improvements included the replacement of an asphalt ballfield with picnic tables and a horticultural area. The park’s open grass area was landscaped, the handball wall and court were reconstructed, new basketball backstops were added, and new exercise equipment was installed. In addition to the two new pieces of boar-shaped animal play sculptures, a new steel fence was added around the jogging area, new concrete game tables were installed, and two animal art sculptures of boars were added. The wild boar, native to Europe, is a reminder of the foreign origins of a great American military leader.

For the record these boars already have teats (go and see for yourself). But for $938,000 they didn’t seem “grand enough” so I augmented them. The cost: $0.00.

Hall Street at Park Avenue

All things considered there wasn’t too much that tickled my titular fancy. However, this bus shelter for the B61 made the grade.

This Bebe advertisement has been getting on my nerves for some time. So I finally decided to boobify this fine specimen gracing a B61 bus stop next to the BQE. My act of art-making was met with the approval of a young man shooting hoops at adjacent Washington Hall Park: he gave me two enthusiastic thumbs up.

Washington Hall Park

When all else fails playgrounds never cease to provide ample fodder for boobification. Just take this seal. Methinks I will have to swing by here next summer with a retrofitted solo tit and get some lactation going.

Unbeknownst to me a parks employee watched me execute this one. He didn’t seem upset in the least. In fact I think he found it amusing.

And this, dear readers, concludes my latest installment of Brooklyn boobification!

Miss Heather

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