Greenpoint
Lorven Pharmacy
Culture on the Cheap
COMING SOON: Le Grenier
After much ado Le Grenier is at last poised to open. Once Maya Marzolf, the proprietress, told me the good news I simply had to head down there and get a sneak peek. Not only does this store sport some lovely merchandise (the lot of old Victorian photographs she recently acquired is especially nice!), but she has done a wonderful job restoring the space. Here is a slide show of what you can expect to see opening day— which for those of you who are interested will be May 1st. Enjoy!
Le Grenier
OPENING DATE: May 1, 2009
19 Greenpoint Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11222
Phone: (718) 569-0111 (yet to be activated)
Miss Heather
From The New York Shitty Inbox
On April 9, 2009 at 5:37 p.m. Lisa wrote:
walking down franklin earlier and witnessed an old man – stopping traffic – to complain to the cops about “the most revolting thing he had ever seen. outside dandelion wine.” of course hearing this just made me turn back for my phone. either my camera phone isn’t that great, or i’m a lousy camera-phone-photographer, because this pic (as seen at left— ed. note) does not in any way do this massive mound justice. i encourage you to walk by yourself (it’s not right outside dandelion, closer to java.)
I had a little time on my hands so I decided to swing by. It was not at all difficult to find.
Here’s another shot that better establishes a sense of scale.
Methinks this bad boy gets five stars— or would that be bars?
Miss Heather
A Trip Down Dog Shit Row
A recurring theme brought up at Bob’s memorial last week was how the Internet can bring like-minded people together. This was certainly the case after the service: at long last I finally had the opportunity to meet the brains behind some of my favorite blogs*. We were present that Saturday afternoon for one reason: to celebrate Bob’s life and work as yes, grieve.
Thankfully not all web comradeship is so serious in nature. Take my friend Yotidadnmom, for example. He first entered my life via an email entitled how’s this for shitty, took it with my cell phone, sorry for the poor quality. Attached was one of the most revolting and substantial bowel movements I have ever seen (Caution: click the previous link at your own risk). After regaining my composure (and lunch) I replied as follows:
Looks like someone needs to eat more fiber. Where, may I ask, did you find this?
To wit he replied:
I’m a construction worker who does station rehabs for the MTA i find shit on walls columns, tunnels etc etc .. i’ll send u pics of shit as i find em…
Impressed and intrigued I wrote back:
Man, I bet you see all sorts of crazy shit. Thanks!
u have no idea .. big shit , small shit , smelly shit , rat shit, people shit , soft shit ,hard shit ….god i work in a world of shit
he replied. The previous dialog came to pass in May of 2008 and ever since I will occasionally find some new piece of “treasure” my intrepid turd enthusiast has found for my edification waiting for me in my inbox. Usually first thing in the morning over my first cup of coffee.
This week, mercifully enough, my Internet friend did not send me a jpg. Rather, he sent me a solitary link in an email entitled Thought of You. Curious to see what my brother in bowel movements had discovered, I pointed and clicked my way over to Brooklynian. Here is what I found:
Now I have seen a lot of shitty sidewalks in my day. For this reason I have a certain amount of cynicism when someone calls this (or her) block in this case St. Mark’s Avenue between Grand and Classon Avenue, “Dog Shit Row”. Wishing to see how shitty this street really was I dusted off my Metrocard and checked it out for myself. Follows is what I found. Enjoy!
Is this the shittiest block I have ever seen? Not by a long shot. Nonetheless I’d be very mindful of where I step if I were you!
Miss Heather
*Like Best View In Brooklyn, for example. And while I am on the subejct I’d like to thank Nicole Davis of Brooklyn Based for the amazing work she did on this event— she was sort of overlooked at the service. Great job!
Southside Photos Du Jour: Poo Poo Platter
Just in time for April Fool’s Day Spacecraft present their “make it yourself” Poo Poo Platter.
As you can see some of it is rather convincing (note the presence of corn in the turd at far right. NICE.)— but there’s still no substitute for the real thing.
I’m sorry I missed out on this moving sale. Furniture, books, CDs, DVDs, Vintage duds, cool stuff and an enormous pile of shit?!? These people have everything!
Miss Heather
From The New York Shitty Inbox: Only In Park Slope
I have been writing New York Shitty for almost three years now. In that time I have seen a sizable increase in emails “pitching” one product or another. I usually ignore them— but today I am going to make an exception. Read on and you’ll understand why. Tyler writes:
Local Park Slope dog owner here with some shit news. I wrote an iphone application for dog owners and dog walkers which is available at the iTunes store this week, it’s all about pee and poo. Trying to get the word out about the application, DogiDuty lets you or your dog walker send reports after each walk to let you know if Fido went pee or poo, was given food or water, and other notes. I designed this app to help me an my wife better manage our schedule between errands, late nights at the office, and after work activities. Our dog walkers use it and so do we.
Check it out at the app store or follow this link. I can send you guys a promo code to download a free copy of the app if you are interested.
I checked out their web site* and this appears be for real. Although I do not have a dog I am very tempted to take this person up on his offer as I can think of some very fun alternative uses for this product. My grandmother (whose fixation with “regularity” was the stuff of legend) would have loved this product; instead of simply asking me if I did a bowel movement I every time I exited the bathroom I could send her a full report replete with color commentary and perhaps a picture or two?!? God I love technology!
*tears*
Miss Heather
*Do check this out. It has mock-ups of the user interface which features and poop and pee “checklist”. Priceless.
Image Credit: Dogiduty
A Supremely Shitty Public Service Announcement
All you irresponsible dog owners listen up:
If you’re looking for a place to deposit your doggie dumplings head on down to 45 India Street.
You will find yourself in good company.
So much for the city increasing fines in the hopes it would motive people to pick up their dog crap. NASTY.
Miss Heather
A Very Special Dung of The Day
(Or: Queens Crap)
My buddy over at Queens Crap (who was kind enough to send me this lovely find) opines:
My initial reaction–sort of round, shiny pellets of roughly medium-blueberry size–is rabbit. It doesn’t look like carnivore–raccoons, et al produce something that looks like cat crap, which is something that you’re all too familiar with. It’s not goose, which looks kind of like soggy, greenish Tater Tots.
And with that sidewalk and fence shadow suggesting an urban area, the color, and my impression of size, it’s not deer.
So, rabbit leads for now.
Indeed. It looks like the Easter bunny came early over in Maspeth!*
Miss Heather
P.S.: Special thanks goes out to my buddy Crappy for sharing this find. We make a great turd tag team!
*And Bushwick too for that matter.
Dung Of The Day: Fun With Urban Blight
FRANKLIN STREET, 12:45 p.m.
I am growing weary of this, Paul.
<3 Greenpoint.
WEST STREET, 1:00 p.m.
Oh…
my…
GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Miss Heather
Dung Of The Day: The Broken Windows Theory
Yesterday I wrote about the urban rusticism/added value the Loft 305’s neighbors have seen fit to give their rather intimidating and big friend. Today I had the pleasure of walking by this edifice I call “Fort Apache the ‘Point” again today. I noted a couple gawking at the hanging wires and graffiti gracing the property.
I saw the previous after I discovering this smashed out window (as seen to the right) which can be found at ground level. Don’t believe me? Click here and see for yourself. Not only did the wizards behind this project see fit to place windows within easy peeping, pissing and vomiting distance (and for the record I have seen the latter two in abundance on this strip of road along with blood) but they saw fit to enable their tenants open them. My theory is they wanted their clients to get some fresh air. This is a sterling idea in principle but when one factors in realty it doesn’t work very well. The perfume of taxi garage across the street, waste treatment plant one block away and the automotive exhaust (only the boulevard called McGuinness can provide) will be the only air these people will breathe. With neighbors like this why quit smoking? Hell, I’d even advocate taking up the habit just to cover up the stench. One month’s free rent and no broker fee will give you plenty of money to buy ciggies for just this purpose. Marketing genius! But I digress.
Back to the purpose of this post: today’s dung of the day.
A shitpop lollipoop* as found on the Huron Street side of the Lofts 305. Yum.
Miss Heather
*Thanks Copyranter!
Dog Doo Sign Du Jour: Failure To Communicate
There is simply too much goodness going on here to go into in a mere blog post. This having been said I honestly don’t know which I like better: the carefully balanced box of beer bottles…
the total ineffectiveness of this missive or the fact the author of this missive appears to have no problem with having large quantities of beer bottles inhabiting the sidewalk. Then again I suppose this is Greenpoint: we are well known for our affinity for intoxicating substances.
Miss Heather
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