From The New York Shitty Inbox: Curb Your…

April 30, 2009 ·
Filed under: Dog Shit Signage, Manhattan 

curbyourdick

This item hails from an unidentified location in Manhattan and was captured by Greenpoint’s very own Bitchcakes, who writes:

I saw this sign and thought of you…

Great find!

Speaking of things curbed, the upcoming week’s worth of offerings on New York Shitty will in all probability be lite. Today none other than Ma and Pa Heather will be honoring our fair city with a visit! Needless to say I will be very busy showing them all the local scenic points of interest (like the Shit Tits and the Newtown Creek Nature Walk!) but will take the time to post when the opportunity presents itself. Besides, sometimes even bloggers need a vacation! 😉

Miss Heather

From The New York Shitty Inbox: An Open Letter To IDT

April 19, 2009 ·
Filed under: Area 51, Asshole, Greenpoint Magic, Manhattan, Williamsburg 

This offering comes from a Harlem resident who would prefer to remain anonymous. We’ll call him/her MS:

On Wednesday, 4/15/09, after being asked to leave, your IDT Agents refused to leave my building, located at [West Harlem address here]. They remained in the building after over 25 minutes of being asked to leave, even though I clarified I was an owner. They also refused to stop bothering my elderly neighbors, after being asked to do so.  Additionally they refused to give me a phone number or phone numbers to allow me to call a supervisor to assist in asking them to leave.  Then I took out my video camera.

There were two female agents, once wore a pink shirt under her coat and the other a gray beret. The agent in the pink shirt said her brother was her boss and he wouldn’t like it if she gave out his phone number, nor could I use her phone and use her minutes. (I offered her $5 to use her phone, but that offer was refused.) Your agents stated I could not make them leave even if I was an owner in the building because someone on the 4th floor buzzed them in. I said if they are guests of that person, they are now out of their apartment, so they need to leave my building. The girl in the beret said something like: Oh it’s your building, yeah right. And I clarified again, that I am an owner in the building and I want them to leave immediately. They said that the last building they were just in someone also called the police and that the police came and said they were allowed to be there. That of course is not true.

After asking the agents to leave for over 10 minutes, I called my super at 1:29pm hoping a man’s presence would convince the agents to leave but he was not available.  I then called IDT at 1:37pm @877-887-6866 and they said they could not call off their agents, and that I’d have to call the police. At 1:41pm I called 311 who transferred me to 911 because your agents were trespassing.

They continued door-to-door and I told each neighbor I saw that I have asked these agents to leave and that I called the police. One agent had already convinced my elderly neighbor to bring them their Con Ed bill and I also told that neighbor I had called the police.

Your agents pretended they called the police to report me and then they began knocking on doors on my first floor, and that is when I went to get my video camera. When officers from the 30th Precinct arrived they said they had received my call but had not received a call from your agents.

Here is the video that I put on youtube, as you will see, per request of your agent Sheena (excised) #6706306.

So far I’ve submitted it to Channel 7(“7 on Your Side”), Fox (“Shame, Shame, Shame”), The Consumerist, The Gothamist, Curbed, NYC bloggers/websites (if they have articles about problems with your agents), and the NYS Public Service Commission.

Under § 140.05 of the New York Penal Law, “[a] person is guilty of trespass when he knowingly enters or remains unlawfully in or upon premises.”

If indeed these are legitimate agents from your company, they have not represented you well.  This is the third time in a few weeks your agents have entered my building and have gone to door-to-door. Please stop sending your agents to Harlem.

And north Brooklyn too for that matter. This person’s experience with IDT’s “professionals” is not terribly unlike a number I have had. When asked to leave they just laugh. This is not a matter of mere youthful impertinence. It is OBNOXIOUS— and constitutes trespassing. Simple as that.

Miss Heather

East Village Photos Du Jour: Gearing Up For Easter

April 11, 2009 ·
Filed under: Manhattan, New York City 

derobertis

pasticceria

hawkishlambs

From De Robertis Pasticceria, 1st Avenue.

Miss Heather

East Village Photo Du Jour: V-Day Wrap Up

February 14, 2009 ·
Filed under: Manhattan 

myheartsanidiotnys

From Third Avenue.

Miss Heather

TONIGHT: A Couple Of Art-Related Events

January 9, 2009 ·
Filed under: Manhattan, Williamsburg 

Although this is last minute I cannot resist passing along this item. This evening starting at 6:00 p.m. Deitch Projects and the Burleqsue Hall of Fame will be ushering a show featuring the art of Liz Renay (who some of you may recall was the star of John Water’s hilariously abject film Desperate Living). Here’s the scoop from Deitch’s web site:

Deitch Projects and the Burlesque Hall of Fame present “How To Attract Men” a retrospective exhibit of the art of Liz Renay. Pre-pop , Pre-punk, and an outsider on the inside- Liz Renay created her own reality and an enormous body of work along the way including four books, three dozen films and miles of printed publicity. In the first New York showing of her paintings in fifty years, Deitch Projects 76 Grand Street gallery will feature original paintings as well as a salon of important collages, costumes, and artifacts from Ms. Renay’s archives in the Burlesque Hall of Fame.

Liz’s life story weaves itself through almost every American subculture during her life time-burlesque, the Hollywood studio system, television, rock and roll, sexploitaion and punk films, the mafia and women’s prison. She precipitated and participated in the sexual revolution. Through it all she created a large body of paintings and art. This work would seem unbelievable if created by any other artist- but in the case of Liz Renay, it is a direct reflection of a life as art.

This is a must-see event (especially for my buddy Bitchcakes— you hear me out there?). Check it out!

Deitch Projects
76 Grand Street
New York, New York 10013

Those of you who want something a little closer to home will be interested to know that this evening the Williamsburg Gallery Association will be having their first Williamsburg Every 2rd event this evening as well. All the fun stuff that awaits you is simply too plentiful to go into here, but you can check out their itinerary here (be advised this is a .pdf) or by pointing and clicking your way over to RAW Magazine’s web site.

Miss Heather

UPDATE: 4th Annual Walk & Ride

January 2, 2009 ·
Filed under: Astoria, Brooklyn, Bushwick, Greenpoint Magic, Manhattan, Queens, Williamsburg 

As many of you are aware Ghost Bikes will be conducting their 4th Annual Walk & Ride this Sunday, January 4. It has been brought to my attention by the folks at Ghost Bikes that they are experiencing some problems with their web site. That said, they have been kind enough to forward me the schedule for this Sunday’s event. Here it is:

Bronx/Manhattan Ride
10:45-11:10 gather at White Plains Road and Allerton Ave.
Subway: 2 to Allerton
11:15 Michael Needham Barnes Ave. north of Allerton Ave.
12:30 Faustino Morales Truxton St. and Randall Ave.
1:20 meetup & break NW corner of Central Park at Frederick Douglass Circle
1:35 Unnamed Central Park West at West 110th St.
2:30 Alvaro Olsen West 36th St. and Broadway
3:15 Amelia Geocos East 49th St. and 1st Ave.

Queens/North Brooklyn Ride
12:00 – 12:15 Gather in Astoria Park at the east end of running track (Hoyt and 19th St.)
Subway: N to Astoria Blvd.
12:30 Arturo Flores 27th St. and 23rd Ave.
1:30 Asif Rahman Queens blvd. @ 55th Rd.
2:30 Sze Man (Josephine) Chan Manhattan and Montrose Aves. (this is whose bike graces the beginning of this post —Ed. Note)
3:15 Unnamed under N side of Williamsburg bridge, Brooklyn

Brooklyn Ride
1245-1:00 gather top of Sunset Park hill (6th Avenue between 41 & 44th Sts.)
Subway: R to 45th st.
1:15 Pedro Fernandez-Pacheco 54th St and 7th Ave.
2:15 Jonathan Millstein President St. and 8th Ave.
2:45 Alexander Toulouse Livingston and Boreum
3:30 Jian-Lan Zhang Hester and Allen Sts.

Pedestrian Memorial Walk
2:30-2:45 gather at Bowery and Canal St.
Subway: 6, J, M, Z, R, Q to Canal
2:50 Lai Ho Bowery and Canal St.
3:10 James Dong in front of 106 Bowery between Hester and Grand Sts.
3:40 Josephine LaPlaca Delancey at Allen St.

Convergence of Pedestrian Memorial Walk & Cyclist Memorial Ride
4:00 Rides/Walk convergence Delancey at Allen St.
4:30 Rasha Shamoon Delancey and the Bowery

Gathering of Cyclists, Pedestrians, Families and Friends
Subway: 6 to Astor Place
5:00 Memorial for Unknown Cyclists and Pedestrians  East 10th St. at 2nd Ave.
5:15-7:00 St. Marks Church 131 East 10th st at 2nd Ave.

For more information feel free to contact Ghost Bikes via email at info (at) ghostbikes (dot) org

Miss Heather

NEXT WEEK: 4th Annual Walk & Ride

December 29, 2008 ·
Filed under: Culture War, Manhattan, Williamsburg 

This item was forwarded to me by Ghost bikes. Although I do not operate a bicycle (or anything form of transportation sporting wheels), I have had a number of close calls as a pedestrian. And when I write “close” I mean landing on the hood of some gent’s car because he decided to make an illegal left-hand turn.* Ghost Bikes writes:

The NYC Street Memorial Project invites you to the 4th Annual Memorial Ride and Walk in remembrance of cyclists and pedestrians killed on the streets of NYC in 2008.  The ride, which will be held on Sunday, January 4, 2009, has 4 starting points: Brooklyn, Queens, the Bronx, and lower Manhattan.

Riders will visit the site of each ghost bike, a white-painted memorial for cyclists killed on the street, installed in New York City in 2008. They will join a Memorial Walk to honor pedestrians killed in the past year in lower Manhattan.

For more details (including who will be remembered and any possible changes in the itinerary) check out Ghost Bikes web site.

Miss Heather

P.S.: On a related note, it would appear that Community Board 1 did a little “housecleaning” of the Transportation Committee over the holidays. Ho. Ho. Ho. For the full scoop point and click you way over to the Gowanus Lounge.

*Being the good little citizen I am I brought this to the NYPD’s attention. They refused to investigate it despite the fact I:

  • had his license plate number
  • two witnesses and
  • he left the scene of an accident.

Why, you ask? Because I was “not sufficiently injured”. ADVICE: if you have the misfortune of having the previous happen to you GO TO THE HOSPITAL. Even if your only injury is a bruise on your ass.

From The New York Shitty Photo Pool: Pre-Hanukkah Goodness

December 20, 2008 ·
Filed under: Manhattan 

This image comes courtesy of Garsav. And what a lovely image it is! Thanks for contributing and Happy Hanukkah everybody!

Miss Heather

A Few Events Of Interest For Our Jewish Friends

December 17, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Manhattan 

As many of you are aware Hanukkah kicks off this Sunday, December 21. Follow are a couple of events our fellow friends of the book might find of interest from Greenpoint and beyond.

First up, Greenpoint’s very own Congregation Ahavas Israel will be kicking things off a celebration this upcoming Sunday starting at 5:00 p.m. For the price of your $20.00 admission ($10.00 for the young ‘uns) you’ll get live music, dancing, dreydel games and latkes for your delectation. Yum!

Hanukkah Celebration
December 21, 2008, 5:00 p.m.
Ahavas Israel
109 Noble Street
Brooklyn, New York 11222

Those of you seeking festivities of the more unconventional kind (or simply like anything featuring Mexican bandits) will undoubtedly find this item (which yours truly found posted in the door of Christina’s Restaurant.

The details about this revue are pretty scant on Heeb Magazine’s web site. However, I’d gladly fork over $20.00 for an hour of free margaritas and to see anyone calling themselves Strip Dreidel and the Kinky Jews out of sheer principle. What’s more, this sounds like a helluva lot of fun!

HEEBONISM
December 24, 2008 9:00 p.m. – 3:00 a.m. (That’s Christmas Eve to you and me.)
Fontana’s
105 Eldridge Street
New York, New York 10002

Miss “I don’t need no stinking badge” Heather

UPDATE, 4:50 p.m.: I received an email from one of the wizards over at Heeb Magazine with a most interesting clarification regarding this event. Brian writes:

Hey, you guys.

I really appreciate the plug for our party. Thanks a mill. Let me know if you guys want to come, and I’ll get you on our list.

Though I should clarify: “Strip Dreidel with Kinky Jews” isn’t a band. Rather we are actually having some hornball kosher kids play a game that involves, yes, taking their clothes off.

And there will be gift bags galore. Free Silver Bullet vibrators from Babeland. Get there early to nab ’em.

Thanks again, Shitty people!

It doesn’t get much better than this folks.

Semantics a la Sharpie Marker: A Little Holiday Cheer Courtesy Of Mott Street

December 10, 2008 ·
Filed under: Asshole, Manhattan 

Speaking as someone who was once in management and as such had the pleasure of drafting* and receiving many an assholic memorandum in my day, I have to say this is one of the finest specimens I have ever seen.

Sharpie marker + a piece of a plywood = ONE CLASSY OPERATION.

Ho! Ho! Ho!

Miss Heather

*Regarding such delightful subjects as:

  1. Please refrain from stealing other people’s food from the office fridge.
  2. Please refrain from physically threatening people who steal your food from the office fridge.
  3. Please refrain from urinating and defecating on the floor of the men’s bathroom.
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