Great Moments in Greenpoint Siding Volume IX

July 13, 2007 by
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Vinyl Siding 

I want to open with a thought-provoking comment that was posted regarding last week’s Greenpoint siding superstar. Fisher6000 writes:

I know that your goal is to be a smart ass and that I may be taking this series too seriously… but you are pointing to such a poignant truth here–that surface is the layer that matters.

I have been pondering this over the last week— and not only do I agree with Fisher6000, but I have decided to illustrate her point with this week’s selection. Albeit in a rather circuitous manner.

Subzero House

A number of you are already familiar with this house. While its street address is 198 Green Street, this modest two-story domicile is more commonly known as the Subzero Building. This home received the aforementioned moniker from an extremely vitriolic post yours truly wrote about it over a year ago. Here’s an excerpt:

I’m guessing this is a light fixture. The first of three to be installed along the top of this building. I for one would like to propose that upon completion these be used as gallows for the owner of this property, the ‘designer’ responsible for this ‘design concept’ and the contractor who enabled it to happen.

OUCH! In hindsight I don’t remember who (or what) pissed in my Cheerios this particular morning, but I certainly had a bug up my ass. I had a point to get across and that point was unequivocally made: I hate this building.

As with most things in life, what goes around comes around. Last month I got my well-deserved comeuppance. Many of you know that I marched in the Mermaid Parade this year, but would anyone like to hazard a guess who I ended up meeting immediately afterwards?


The owner of the Subzero building, that’s who.

Subzero Owner: Hey, are you Miss Heather of New York Shitty?
Me: Yes.
S.O.: I’m the owner of the house you riffed on.
Me: The Subzero building!?!
S.O: Yes.

I was pretty frazzled at the time (marching around in a dress that weighed ten pounds while slathered in caramel syrup will do that to a person), so I cannot recount exactly what was said between us. But I do vividly remember thinking to myself “Wow, this man is a damned nice guy!” Had the shoe been on the other foot, I doubt I would have had even a tenth of the class this man exhibited.

And that’s the funny thing: since meeting this gent I don’t harbor the rancor I used to have towards this house. In fact, I have kind of grown to like it in a strange sort of way. Sure, sheet metal-sheathed buildings are not my taste— but I’d much rather have a nice person who lives in an “ugly” house as a neighbor than a raging asshole— even if he or she lives in an architectural masterpiece. After all, if I wanted the latter I would have moved to Park Slope.

Think about it.

Miss Heather


4 Comments on Great Moments in Greenpoint Siding Volume IX

  1. mikey on Mon, 16th Jul 2007 3:02 pm
  2. why do people love to get all hopping mad about stuff as long as the person/thing causing all the anger doesn’t actually respond? cause when it does–it’s usually, hey, that wasn’t all that bad!

    perhaps, just perhaps, notching down the discontent might have been a good place, i dunno… to start.

    of course, people probably wouldn’t read this blog if you weren’t mad about so much stuff. so i guess that puts you in a tight spot.

  3. mikey on Tue, 17th Jul 2007 7:10 pm
  4. my point is this:

    there are plenty of reasons to dislike ugly aluminum siding. it’s ugly, it was designed without respect for the context of the neighborhood. i’m sure there are more reasons. but “hate” and wishing to hang three people from the side of a building because it doesn’t appeal to your taste, that i find a bit strong.

    personally, no, i don’t think i’m a very angry person. but i find that this city is full of a lot of angry people. so, just as you raise the issue of dog shit on every corner of greenpoint in what i assume is the hope that such attention will start to remedy the problem, i think people who live in this city should start expecting their fellow city-dwellers to act with a bit less outward “hate.”

    it’s certainly unfair of me to pick one blog post and decide you embody all of this. sure, i’m capable of admitting that. but we (i also live in greenpoint) live in a neighborhood where tensions between groups of people already run high. at least these are the conversations i overhear on the bus, the subway, eating out, etc. yet when everyone around here interacts it goes quite well.

    i’d just like to see folks temper their knee-jerk reaction to anger and attempt to understand the situation before needlessly ranting about how much they hate it. that’s all.

  5. missheather on Tue, 17th Jul 2007 7:31 pm
  6. Understood.

    You may find this to strange, but after reading some of the shit I have people post online (comments on other blogs, mostly) over the last several months, I too am getting sick and tired of what you are talking about. It is truly disturbing how ugly and pointedly personal some of these comments are. Mind you, these are all directed at some person he (or she, the commenter) has never met.

    That said, I appreciate your thoughtful response. I say this with all sincerity. Back to shoveling shit.

    Take care, neighbor.


  7. steelthishouse on Fri, 20th Jul 2007 12:21 pm
  8. Thank you Miss Heather. I’m touched and happy that you are no longer housing a grudge against me and encourage you to keep voicing your opinion on the house if I do anything else objectionable to it. BTW, my great dane makes ENORMOUS poops (which are always picked up after him).

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