The Viridian Institutes The “No Boil” Rule

September 16, 2009 by
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

I have long refrained from passing along to you, dear readers, the good news that the Viridian’s pool is open for business. This is because I thought it wasn’t really interesting enough to merit passing along.

pool2

Here it is.

pool1

Here is another view.

chairs

Although a bit cheap looking, there’s nothing terribly remarkable about these chairs. No excitement here. Then I looked directly across from these chairs— and it started to get quite interesting.

signs

Four signs have been hung outlining the rules for personal conduct for said pool. The left one explains capacity, the far right one points out that no lifeguard is on the duty (and thus swimming is prohibited). The two in the middle get right down to the nitty gritty.

discharge

Yes, I realize Curbed featured this very sign a month ago.

NOBOILSnys

But when paired with this, its companion to the left, well— that’s when I realized this is one class operation.

Miss Heather

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Comments

12 Comments on The Viridian Institutes The “No Boil” Rule

  1. rowan on Thu, 17th Sep 2009 11:28 am

    2. So….there is a pool that cannot be used (ever?) because there is no lifeguard. This pool water will just sit unused. Is there a point that I am missing here? (Also, that is one creepy pool area. There’s nothing cheerful or relaxing about it)

  2. missheather on Thu, 17th Sep 2009 5:00 pm

    3. It’ll be even creepier once someone (breaking the established rules, of course) looks up from swimming to find some creepy dude starting at them intently (and/or masturbating). Trust me, it is only a matter of time…

  3. marvis on Thu, 17th Sep 2009 11:11 pm

    4. I understand this sign looks weird but it is normal for pools in NYC. Those signs are regulation for all NYC pools. These signs have existed since the 70’s at least as I saw them growing up and as a teen lifeguard.

  4. rheingold on Fri, 18th Sep 2009 1:58 am

    5. Now overpriced condos have their own version of those hilarious “Don’t pee in our pool, we don’t swim in your toilet” signs.

  5. missheather on Fri, 18th Sep 2009 2:17 am

    6. CORRECTION rheingold: it’s a nondo.

    Given all the doors the Viridian leaves open— at all hours— I suggest we gain access to do a reenactment of the Baby Ruth scene in Caddyshack in their pool.

    Just kidding. That would be trespassing. I’m certain it will happen soon enough. The “no boil” rule will be shot to shit once one of Greenpoint’s Finest (homeless) takes a dip.

  6. janimpala on Fri, 18th Sep 2009 9:33 pm

    7. They forgot to add a “no farting in the pool” rool. Hey if you think you’ve got class act people to deal with, let’s catch all the Beavis and Butthead ideas before they think of doing it.

    Do Not Let Your dog swim in the pool.
    No electronic devices in pool.
    No Food Coloring in pool
    No Mister Bubble in Pool
    No blowing nose in pool
    No stupid half thought out performance art pieces or found on the street furniture in pool
    No massive amounts of foam blocks in the pool
    no bicycle riding in pool.
    No vespas in pool
    No finger painted 12 year old cars with 9/11 was an inside job stickers in pool
    No doing laundry in pool
    Do not wear socks or shoes in pool
    Underwear is not swimwear, please wear real bathing attire.
    No robots in pool
    No Viking ships in pool (aww maaan, I just got mine fixed…)

    I could go on….

    I remember a sign elsewhere that said. WELCOME TO OUR OOL. NOTICE THERE IS NO “P” IN IT. PLEASE KEEP IT THAT WAY”

  7. missheather on Sat, 19th Sep 2009 4:06 pm

    8. I suspect they would disagree with your “No Farting” policy. If they get enough flatulent people in the pool they can tout it as being a “jacuzzi” and charge (even higher) rent.

  8. h0h0h0 on Sat, 19th Sep 2009 5:31 pm

    9. I’m not really sure why this is a bad thing?

  9. rowan on Sun, 20th Sep 2009 3:57 pm

    10. Farting in a pool is not as bad as peeing or shitting in the pool.

  10. missheather on Sun, 20th Sep 2009 4:03 pm

    11. What about throwing up? That’s pretty damned nasty.

  11. rowan on Sun, 20th Sep 2009 4:29 pm

    12. Throwing up is nasty. Farts are just gas bubbles. Anything that is liquidy or chunky is a no-no in a pool.

  12. janimpala on Sun, 20th Sep 2009 4:59 pm

    13. ok, i guess farting isn’t gross enough to truly defile a nondo pool.

    Anyone remember Coney Island Jellyfish or Newton Creek Whitefish?

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