From The Brookyn Daily Eagle Archives: Sticky Fingers at St. Stanislaus

touchyourassTHUMBLast night there was a flurry of activity at Chez Shitty. You see, every year Mister Heather’s father bakes batches of cookies. I can personally attest they are quite delicious as he ships them to use each and every year. This year was no exception. However, as of last night, they had yet to arrive. This greatly concerned the Mister. The man may very well be an atheist but I assure you he takes the matter of his Yuletide treats very seriously.

To this end he exercised vigilance rarely seen after a work day. He even tabled his evening cocktail in order to get to the bottom of this matter. If there’s one thing I have learned over the years it is this: you don’t mess with the man’s snickerdoodles. Phone calls were made, a routing number was secured and online he went. I quipped that we’d probably find the box empty, save a handful of crumbs, in front of our building in a day or two. He was not amused.

I do not want to suggest that my neighbors are dishonest folk. They’re not. However, if there’s one thing I have observed living here for the past decade (and working at the junk shop) it is some people will steal anything. Which brings me to this item I culled from the December 27, 1902 edition of the Brooklyn Daily Eagle. Not only does this item bear testament to this fact (17 cents, flatware and a shawl do not an excellent haul make) but it also illustrates that nothing and more importantly no one is considered sacred to those who have sticky fingers. Even ladies of the cloth are considered fair game. Enjoy!


I am pleased to report that our cookies have been located! As it would happen they had arrived December 18 and were in the care of the business on the first floor of our building. Why they did not see fit to inform us of their arrival is anyone’s guess. The important thing is certain disaster and the rolling of many a head has been averted.

Miss Heather


One Comment on From The Brookyn Daily Eagle Archives: Sticky Fingers at St. Stanislaus

  1. bitchcakes on Sun, 27th Dec 2009 11:02 pm
  2. *phew* I was hoping there was a conclusion posted there. I was worried – anything important enough to interrupt the Mr’s evening cocktail is pretty significant. I’m glad it turned out well. And seriously – ‘you don’t mess with the man’s snickerdoodles’ = comic gold. Thank you so much for the laughs tonight!!!

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