From The New York Shitty Inbox: A Nice Place To Shit?

Once in a blue moon I receive a query that confounds even me. Yesterday I found myself in just such a position. Without further ado here it is. JJ writes:

Miss Heather,

am soon to be resident of the Greenpoint area and I wonder if there are any nice parks for my dog to shit in?  You see, she is a north country gal and is not accustomed to pooping on concrete.  I’d also like to avoid her peeing in the middle of the sidewalk too.  If I could take her to a nice park to take a dump she will be happier and I don’t have to be seen scraping doggy bombs off the sidewalk (I am a responsible pet owner who firmly believes that some shit is best left unseen).

Gracias!

Soon to be Brooklynite

Straight-up: I am not a dog owner. I love dogs— and all animals for that matter— but I have to admit this is something I profess to have no knowledge of whatsoever, e.g.; where a cement shy pup would like to poop. I have been and probably always will be a “cat person”. In addition I’m not terribly certain what JJ means by a “nice” park. Personally (and mind you I am writing this as a homo sapiens) I think quality park space is something Greenpoint sorely lacks. But I suppose there’s something to be said about McGolrick or Cooper. If any Garden Spot dog owners out there has advice for JJ please tender it in the comments. Thanks!

Miss Heather

P.S.: For those of you who are wondering, the photograph gracing the beginning of the post does not hail from Greenpoint. It comes from Wooster Street in Soho. Not only was it a pretty remarkable melange of feces and detritus, but I can attest it smelled twice as bad as it looked. It too was much better left unseen— and sniffed!