New York Shitty Day Starter: AUSNY For The (m)Asses

This festive display of asswipes hails from a Graham Avenue 99 Cent Store. This product, Ausny (which, it has been noted takes simple transposition of letters to spell (“Anusy”), purports not only to be “ultra soft” and “3 ply” but is also “sterilized”! What I want to know is how the merry folk who grace said package factor into this? Are they the humanoid equivalent to the Dow scrubbing bubbles? Methinks I’ll field test it on the Mister and find out!

Miss Heather

UPDATE, March 12, 2010: It has been brought to my attention by a chap named Larry that the maker of this product also produces green tea flavored condoms. This begs the question as to when the wizards at Ausny will roll out green-tea infused toilet paper? North Brooklyn’s buttholes only deserve the very best!

P.S.: When I mentioned to the Mister that I photographed “a festive bunch of asswipes”. He assumed I meant hipsters. I was, in fact, speaking in reference to toilet paper. Picking on hipsters is boring. Assholes come in all ages and from every imaginable socio-economic background. On the other hand, toilet paper packaging that looks like an entire legion of McCarren Park Pool partiers are eager to wipe my ass. Well, that is something I can get behind!