Greenpoint
Lorven Pharmacy
Culture on the Cheap
Life In Dangertown
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
On Thanksgiving Day of this year I wrote:
What constituted “Dangertown†here in 11222, you ask? I’m saving that for an extra juicy post!
Well, that time has come.
Although the above image did not accompany the following article from the July 18, 1886 edition of the Brooklyn Daily Eagle I felt it illustrated perfectly the grinding poverty that was once commonplace in the fair burgh we call home. Believe it or not this see-saw was considered plush by contemporary accounts. Greenpoint at the turn of the century was rife with crime, filth and gangs with colorful noms de guerre such as the “Dangertown Slobs”, “Jolly Four”, “Sons of Rest” and the “Undertakers”. The latter most moniker is my personal favorite, as the members purportedly called themselves as such because they completed everything they undertook —but make no mistake about it: the young Republican’s Glee Club these gentlemen most decidedly were NOT.
Two things haven’t changed over the last 124 years in Greenpoint; the watering holes are still quite plentiful and there’s plenty of hideous architecture to go around.* You can read the rest of this article about “Dangertown” (and its numerous shenanigans) by clicking here.
Miss Heather
*Karl Fischer
Pay Phone du Jour: 37th Avenue
It’s been awhile since I have found some quality public pay phone desecration. Fortunately I found this specimen in Jackson Heights. It rather tickled my fancy.
Unlike the general trend of mindless destruction I usually find, the defiler of this device took only the parts he/she needed. I for one think this was very kind of them: it leaves something for everyone else! To close on a (somewhat) related note. This weekend (as I stayed up until the wee hours watching a Planet of The Apes marathon) it came to my attention that jacked up pay phones in Queens has a little cinematic provenance.
If you think finding an operative pay phone in 2008 is bad, I assure in 3955 it is most assuredly worse. Note: the above model is a rotary phone. Oh, the humanity! Where is this item located, you ask?
Where most of the finer things in the county of Queens are to be found: Queensboro Plaza.
Dude. I don’t think I’d be laying my hands on this if I were you.
Miss Heather
A Home For Ella
This was forwarded by a reader of mine. Once you learn about Ella’s situation you will understand the urgency of her situation. Vivian writes:
Ella lived most of her life in a parking lot in Brooklyn. Although she was fed and had a “doghouse” she was always alone and rarely acknowledged. A month ago we learned that construction was to begin in the lot, so she was being evicted. She is currently at a short-term foster home, but Ella needs to find a foster or permanent home urgently.
Ella is about 6 years old, approximately 55 lbs, and a lab-shep mix. She is completely house broken and very sweet – doesn’t seem that she was abused. She loves everyone and is OK with kids. Ella is a great dog for someone that doesn’t want to deal with issues – She is low maintenance and very easy going – no separation anxiety and not destructive. She is just happy hanging out. Unfortunately Ella doesn’t like cats and is probably best with smaller dogs.
Anyone interested in giving Ella the gift a home this holiday season should contact Vivian at info (at) HouseBrokenny (dot) com. It should be noted that HouseBrokenny has offered to provide free dog walking to the adoptive/foster parents for Ella if they live in the “Park Slope area” (READ: Prospect Heights, Park Slope or Crown Heights vicinity) until she becomes acclimatized to her new home.
Miss Heather
Retail Space For Rent On Franklin Street!
WOW. 500 -3,400 square feet sounds pretty phat. As does 1,400 – 5,200 square feet of “professional space”. But there’s one hitch…
it hasn’t been built yet.
Here’s a photograph of floor one of Karl Fischer’s 200 Franklin Street Frankenfinger . It was taken November 27, 2008. Do you honestly think these clowns are going to have this floor (much less a second floor of “professional space” and the heap of crap above it) completed by February 2009? Really?
But I suppose hope GREED springs eternal.
Miss Heather
Greenpoint Photo du Jour: Beware
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
There’s a sausage creature on the loose. The word on the street is he has been spotted on Greenpoint Avenue —along with Green Day.
Miss Heather
Tis The Season: Kicking It Off!
It’s already beginning to look a lot like Christmas in and around the Garden Spot of the Universe. To this end I have decided to kick off my (hopefully) daily revue of Yuletide goodness from Greenpoint and beyond in grand style. In addition to featuring Christmas decor which graces homes I have decided to throw in some choice decorations from retail establishments. My reasons for doing so will become all too apparent later in this post. Enjoy!
This, my favorite Greenpoint feline from Kent Street, senses holiday spirit in the air!
Ever since this pharmacy (on Manhattan Avenue) featured a replica of the Empire State Building made of Fleet enema boxes back in 2002 I am always eager to see what they whip up.
While a bit of a disappointment (I mean, how could one honestly expect to top an edifice made of implements used to irrigate certain orifice?) this juxtaposition does have a certain charm.
However, if you want to get your sensuous Santa on make your way to the 7 train without delay and head over to Jackson Heights.
Why not get things started with a few naughty MAD LIBS underneath the mistletoe? As you can see it is a best seller at this Duane Reade (located at 73-01 37th Avenue). Need stocking stuffers? No worries. Roosevelt Avenue has ’em!
Who wouldn’t be delighted to receive this lovely work of art on Christmas Day (or at the office party)? I know I would! Of course such occasions demand proper apparel.
I don’t think I would want this chap coming down my chimney. What in god’s name has he stuffed in his pants? A bear claw?
HO! HO! HO!
What does this naughty little Santa’s helper hang on her bush, you ask?
Cock rings, anal beads and Spanish fly! DUH.
So you’ve got your Mad Libs, stripper sculpture (and/or other life style accessories), you and yours are dressed up and the Christmas tree is festooned with anal beads of many colors. You’re pimped up and ready to ho down. Now what?
The wine, of course. Yes, this bottle says exactly what you think it does.
Quite a bit(ch), as a matter of fact.
This libation can be found right here in Greenpoint at none other than Dandy Wine.
Home of Greenpoint’s foremost bitch: Miss Bonita.
Dandy Wine
153 Franklin Street
Brooklyn, New York 11222
Miss Heather
Greenpoint Video Du Jour: Leftovers
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
This weekend George Diaz (of Latino Laughter renown) was kind enough to share a anecdote from his childhood with me. Those of you who have the pleasure of making George’s acquaintance probably know his tales are rarely of the Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm variety. The story I heard this Friday was no exception: it was about how a cockroach managed to crawl into his ear as a child and he had to go to a doctor to get it removed. The doctor not only extracted this critter with a pair of tweezers but also went to the trouble of stomping on it so George and his mother could see all the blood it had consumed.
As you can probably imagine the previous was not something I wanted to hear about while eating a taco. Noting my disgust George apologized. Nonetheless, for the past 48 hours I have been unable purge the previous imagery from my mind. It is now and (probably) forever seared into my memory. What’s more, it’s pretty damned gross. Probably more disgusting (although not by much) as this little bit of footage from Manhattan Avenue today. Enjoy! Bon apetit!
It would appear that we humans are not the only ones deluged with holiday leftovers.
Is it just me or is it sort of disturbing that this pigeon is (more or less) eating one of its own kind?
Miss Heather
Jackson Heights Photos du Jour
Filed under: Queens
As I have previously mentioned the Mister and I spent our Black Friday in Jackson Heights. Follow are a few sights I found of particular interest. Enjoy!
Krishna, Radha and surveillance camera a la 74th Street.
The first family elect holds court on 82nd Street.
Here’s a few Roosevelt Avenue sombreros.
I love this guy.
And last but hardly least.
This item is by far the best bit of Obamabilia I have seen to date. Screw the New York Times, at Chez Shitty this is the periodical which will get framed and hung on these here walls!
Miss Heather
Get Your Hanukkah On: Greenpoint Style
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
When one reads about a temporary worker being trampled to death by a horde of eager Walmart goers it is easy enough to forget that this is upcoming holiday season isn’t just about pommeling total strangers for a widescreen television to place under the Christmas tree. It is also the time many of us drink ourselves silly and our fellow friends of the book celebrate Hanukkah. For those of you who are among the latter and plan to engage in the previous (humanity may differ in their mode of worship but we all have one thing in common: one can only handle so much “family togetherness”) the following items might be of interest. Enjoy!
Oenophiles will undoubtedly find this item of interest: a menorah cork. Simply put, you place the cork in a wine or “any other sturdy bottle” and you’re good to go! This item can be found at none other than Fred Flare.
Fred Flare
131 Meserole Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11222
You can also order this item online by clicking here.
Let’s suppose for a moment that the previous item is a little too labor intensive for your taste. Procuring a wine/malt liquor/other bottle and affixing the “menorah cork” to it in the prescribed manner takes up too much of your valuable time. You want your booze and menorah in one convenient package. If so, I have some very good news.
The above item is available at T & N Wine And Liquor. I have been told it is brandy from either Armenia or Georgia. No word on whether or not it is any good. But as the Mister always says:
If it doesn’t make you blind you can always use it for paint thinner.
T & N Wine And Liquor
893 Manhattan Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11222
If anyone tries this product by all means share your review. My curiosity is killing me (but not enough so as to offer myself as a guinea pig).
Miss Heather
Christmas Comes Early To Long Island City
Filed under: Long Island City
It would appear that Santa and his little helpers are busy dismantling what is arguably the ugliest building in Queens and possibly the entire city. I suspect I speak for many when I say goodbye and good riddance.
Miss Heather
NYS Flickr Pool
You must be logged in to post a comment.