New York Shitty Day Starter: Great Moments of Real Estate Hyperbole

(Or: The “Hart” of Greenpoint)

There is real estate insanity and then there is real estate insanity. This apartment, located at the immensely bucolic intersection of Green Street and Manhattan Avenue, has a manifold number of advertisements on Craigslist. But by far this one was the most imaginative (hence why I decided it merited mention). Nothing says “luxury” like a toilet ready, willing and able to do its duty  juxtaposed against a tropical paradise (which Greenpoint, my beloved home, is decidedly not). Citing the G train as an enticement is rather dubious as well. The previous having been written, here are the rest.

All these listings are purportedly  “by owner”. Damn.

P.S.: Lest any of you, dear readers, are wondering why I was looking at apartment advertisements on Craigslist in this draconian price bracket I’ll tell you. I had the pleasure of bumping into yet another group of people waiting to view “apartments” at 239 Banker Street this weekend! Here’s what one had to say afterward:

Hi Heather. Thanks, again, for the heads up on the shady business at Banker St. today. The apartment had very bad craftsmanship and the only elevator in the building was a scary freight elevator that had a sign stating it was unlawful for any person other than the operator to ride in the elevator…the guy renting out the spaces is named Saul (917-549-XXXX) and he’s got them listed multiple times on craigslist. We’re obviously going to pass on that building but we really loved the area. Do you have any tips/leads on finding an apartment around there? I’d appreciate any help you could offer!

I have tendered my advice to this (incredibly nice) person. If any of you, dear readers, have tips/advice as well please share them via comments or via email at missheather (at) thatgreenpointblog (dot) com. This having been written, it would appear Saul’s advertisements regarding 239 Banker Street have since disappeared into the ether. No worries, I found this…

and this.