From The New York Shitty Inbox: This Week At The Shit Tits

Pa Heather once told yours truly she had no ambition. I took issue with this at the time but in the cold, cruel clarity that is hindsight he was correct: I was lacking direction. This has since changed. I have found my happy place (that being Greenpoint, of course) and while living here I have discovered a manifold number of things which engage me. Among them: being the goodwill ambassador of and mascot for our beloved Waste Water Treatment Plant. More specifically: The Shit Tits. While this might not be everyone’s idea of “making it” in Greenpoint (or in New York City and at life for that matter) it is mine. Don’t shit on my dreams and I will not shit on yours.

I was not shit talking when I wrote my snow globe was progressing nicely. It is.

After no less than three attempts methinks I have it right this time around. The first prototype was simply too “busy”: too much shit in too little space. I realized a trifecta of turdiness was in order:

• One snow globe of a Shit Tit (as seen above in unfinished form)
• One snow globe of the Nature Walk (replete with a kayaker!)
• One snow globe of the Dupont Street sludge tank (for obvious reasons)

But back to the events at hand:

The Green Apple: Recycling
May 19, 2011 starting at 6:00 p.m.
The Newtown Creek Waste Water Treatment Visitors’ Center
329 Greenpoint Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11222

Unbottle Your Crafting Skills
May 21, 2011 starting at 11:00 a.m.
The Newtown Creek Waste Water Treatment Visitors’ Center
329 Greenpoint Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11222

Miss Heather

P.S. (and this goes out to the folks NYC Department of Environmental Protection): This is one of the best email exchanges I have had in ages. Please do not fire this person because of this post. It made my day!