North Greenpoint Photos Du Jour: Bodega Daze

March 30, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

The following photographs may not necessarily depict bodegas per se but they do represent the way north Greenpoint has changed, for better or worse.

eaglestbodega

R.I.P at Eagle and Franklin Street.

joses

Renovated, empanadaed and in demand down the block.

sanda

This was my bodega of choice when I lived on Clay Street.

acapulco

This is not a bodega. However, Acapulco Deli & Restaurant resides next to the S & A Deli and is one of the most underrated diners in the Garden Spot. What’s more, now they’re sporting a fancy new awning!

donedeals

Greenpoint Furniture formerly (and possibly currently)  known as “DONE DEAL$”.

minimarket

I was never too big on this one (too much emphasis on meat) but the “presentation” is nice. Good place to buy soda, though.

oldandnewoneaglenys

Such is the life nowadays in north Greenpoint. Of all the people depicted in the above photograph who do you most identify with? More importantly, does it even matter?

We’re all in this together for better or worse, Greenpointers. Best to direct our angst or get a collective chuckle out of people who write stuff like this:

I have to say that all of the places in Brooklyn and Manhattan that I considered moving to, I did not consider Greenpoint at first.  Then I saw the posting for the 305 McGuinness Lofts in early February. I am a huge sucker for apartment porn, as I call it, and the new condo-turned-rental developments are great for that.  This was a Craigslist listing for a brand new triplex: 3 BRs, 2 BAs, brand new appliances, loft like ceilings, on-site parking and a gym. Shane and I quickly agreed: Yep, going to see that. Per the broker, Baris, these had just hit the market and so far they had curious locals coming to see the building.*

So we went on a cloudy Sunday. Getting off of the G train at the Greenpoint Ave stop and seeing the Starbucks warmed the cockles of my heart. We had a lot of time so we went to see the open house that was posted on Craigslist for 110 Green St.  The road itself was desolate but on the right-hand side there was this huge building. It had no sign (later discovered it had been called the Viridian, and was very famous for having Magic Johnson as an investor, and even more famous for going bankrupt last month) and it was very clearly still under construction. We checked out the model apartment, which was extraordinarily tiny. They were, and still are, charging $2,900 for a 2 BR and $3,600 for a 3 BR, so I was curious to check them out. There were many potential tenants and only 1 sales rep. He took us to see the area where there supposedly will be a huge, olympic sized swimming pool (suuuuuure), and then this enormous atrium, which was supposed to have had a fountain, but then explained that the original plans had already been downgraded to now include a simple lounge area instead. At that point, we ran out of time, so we left unimpressed, thinking they needed a reality check.  With those prices and 138 new units to rent, each with limited space, it seems to be a daunting task, indeed.

After that disappointment, we headed off to 305 McGuinness Lofts. McGuinness Blvd, for those who don’t know (and I didn’t) is a very noisy, busy road with traffic gunning to and from Brooklyn and Queens via the Pulaski bridge. The apartment building was under heavy construction (and still is), with wires dangling and walls unfinished. We were shown the triplexes and duplexes. The triplexes were cool: 1200+ sq feet in each, with 2 entrances, 2 bedrooms & 1 bathroom on the bottom floor, kitchen with huge windows and decent living/dining space on the 2nd floor and then the third floor mezzanine with another room that will (one day, in theory) have sliding glass doors overlooking the living/dining area, and another bathroom. W/D comes with every unit, as does central air, lovely new appliances and huge windows. I wasn’t crazy about the bedrooms, which were small, and the limited amount of closet space in each, but overall, it was a nice place for a relatively decent price.

But nice floors, beautiful appliances, kitchen, huge windows and only $3,000 with a free month thrown in. Add in on-site parking and the gym? Awesome! Duplexes with 2 bedrooms plus an area for an office space, had a nicer view but the 2nd floor/mezzanine had a ridiculously low ceiling, barely clearing Shane’s head, and they only had 1 bathroom. Additionally, the mezzanine/2nd bedroom shared a huge window with the master suite, and the two rooms were not completely shutoff from each other due to that window, so we figured, if we lived here, it’d be the triplex…

Yes, this was ostensibly written by a “real person”. While gloating over the “lovely new appliances” and “huge windows” our wannabe/soon-to-be neighbor didn’t notice the rather fragrant and enormous waste treatment plant one block away.

Real estate shill or simply clueless?

I’ll let you make the call. A triplex overlooking the Shit Tits, anyone?

Miss Heather

*This is true. We stare in dumbfounded amazement at this edifice wondering why some dumbass, a bankrolled one at that, would build such a turd on McGuinness Boulevard. Daily. It is a constant source of amusement.

P.S.: The 184 Eagle Street post is a HOOT:

When we were first heading over to Greenpoint to check out 305 McGuinness I also put in a call to check out the listing for a luxury 2 BR, 2 BA with mezzanine place (pics above), complete with on-site parking.  Was told by the real estate agent that it was for 184 Eagle Street but that tenants were in the place so I couldn’t see it that day (Sunday).  Weekdays weren’t good for me so I passed.

Then a few weeks back Brownstoner picked up on a story posted by New York Shitty about 184 Eagle St doing hostel duty on the side.  Apparently a tipster found the Craigslist posting.  So…while they wait for a real rental, they’re making money by renting out the place on a weekly basis where you can get either a bunk bed ($28 per night) or a private room ($78 per night).  Um, ew?

Um, welcome to my reality lady. I have seen a number of my neighbors— renters all— “displaced” by development. It happens like this: a developer purchases 1,2,3 lots in a row— usually because the landholder cannot afford the real estate taxes— and the tenants are forced to vacate. And in the place of their former homes are erected testaments to gentrification such as 110 Green Street, 184 Eagle Street and 305 McGuinness. Their target demographic: people like you.

But the locations are deemed “too crude” by people like you (greed and easy credit makes developers do silly things) so they have to find more creative ways to meet their loan debt like skipping over the whole Certificate of Occupancy thing.

184eaglepart2

Or employing a dead condo (“nondo”) as an illegal hostel/hotel. Thus generating what is my opinion one of the most hilarious complaints I have ever seen on the Department of Buildings web site.

184eaglepart1

Who says gentrification/displacement can’t be funny?

Dung Of The Day: The Broken Windows Theory

March 10, 2009 ·
Filed under: Dog Shit, Dung of the Day, Greenpoint Magic 

305thumbnailYesterday I wrote about the urban rusticism/added value the Loft 305’s neighbors have seen fit to give their rather intimidating and big friend. Today I had the pleasure of walking by this edifice I call “Fort Apache the ‘Point” again today. I noted a couple gawking at the hanging wires and graffiti gracing the property.
smashedwindow305lofts

I saw the previous after I discovering this smashed out window (as seen to the right) which can be found at ground level. Don’t believe me? Click here and see for yourself. Not only did the wizards behind this project see fit to place windows within easy peeping, pissing and vomiting distance (and for the record I have seen the latter two in abundance on this strip of road along with blood) but they saw fit to enable their tenants open them. My theory is they wanted their clients to get some fresh air. This is a sterling idea in principle but when one factors in realty it doesn’t work very well. The perfume of taxi garage across the street, waste treatment plant one block away and the automotive exhaust (only the boulevard called McGuinness can provide) will be the only air these people will breathe. With neighbors like this why quit smoking? Hell, I’d even advocate taking up the habit just to cover up the stench. One month’s free rent and no broker fee will give you plenty of money to buy ciggies for just this purpose. Marketing genius! But I digress.

Back to the purpose of this post: today’s dung of the day.

sucker

A shitpop lollipoop* as found on the Huron Street side of the Lofts 305. Yum.

Miss Heather

*Thanks Copyranter!

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