From The New York Shitty Inbox: Here We Go Again

May 19, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

dadiRemember the post I wrote yesterday about a flier I found on Bayard Street decrying the menace that is Mister Softee? Well, much to my surprise it has received a great deal of attention. As of the writing of this post it has been linked to by no less than Curbed, Gothamist and the Village Voice. And— as I have just learned— “professional”  journos have wasted no time exploiting my hard work for their own nefarious gain. Mugsniffer writes:

I was just finishing my run in McCarren Park when I saw a guy sporting two fancy cameras talking to another guy near the pool. Being a sucker for men with big lenses, I ventured over to see what they were up to and it turns out they were from the Post covering a story on ice cream trucks disturbing the neighbors of McCarren Park. I mentioned NYshitty covering the story and I asked them where they heard about this story and they said “Curbed and Gothamist”  Hmmm… no new york shitty? The dudes names were Reuben and Paul, wait… isn’t that like… Pee Wee?

This is getting really old, folks. What’s more, there are real stories to be found in Greenpoint. Why rip off/plagiarize/crib this one?

(disgusted)

Miss Heather

WANTED IN GREENPOINT: Educated Physicist

February 25, 2009 ·
Filed under: Area 51, Crazy People, Greenpoint Magic 

Chris, the discoverer of this wonderful item, writes:

Hello Miss Heather,

…thought you might find this interesting.  Not sure if you’ve seen this yet, but this flier was posted on the street lamp on Franklin and Greenpoint Ave., right outside of the Pencil Factory this morning.  Obviously, my cell phone picture is less than great quality, but apparently someone who is close to building a time machine in Greenpoint is looking for physicist to work on some of the numbers for said time machine.

Not sure if it’s a hoax or not, but it’s entertaining nonetheless.

wanted

I am an inventor who are very close to the fabrication of working TIME MACHINE here in Greenpoint workshop. I’m looking for a consultant who is Math educated to help with difficult equations.

Looking for local Mathematician/Theoretical Physicist: preferably with (unintelligible) engineering experience and a willing-desire to explore the future and past.

Payment deferred. If Consultation and math correct then payment will be immediate upon answering this posting.

If this posting is still up I have not figured the time machine out yet and need your help! Must have knowledge of…

Any “educated physicists” interested in following up this most unique employment opportunity should make his (or her) way to the southwestern corner of Greenpoint Avenue and Franklin Street without delay as this appears to be a limited time offer. Good luck…

and have a safe trip!

Miss Heather

UPDATE, February 27, 2009: You can see this advert in some semblance of entirety by clicking here.

The East Williamsburg Economic Stimulus Plan

February 12, 2009 ·
Filed under: Bushwick, Williamsburg 

Those of you who have the pleasure of whiling away your time reading my blog probably have jobs (or at least good severance packages and Internet access). Regardless of your employment status, dear readers, chances are your 401K (if you even have one) is shot to shit. My shit got shot a long time ago. I operate under the presumption that I’ll be working until the day I die. Or rendered into Soylent Green. Whichever comes first.

moneytreenys

That is until this tree from Seigel Street entered my life.

moneytree2nys

A group of gentleman found my interest in this tree (and the numerous tags attached to it) interesting. I, in turn, found them interesting so I asked:

What’s up with this tree?

They replied in unison:

It’s the money tree.

Not caring to futz around with economic esotericism and abstract rhetoric (that’s the stuff that got us— U.S.—in this bind in the first place ) I asked:

If you get a lot of money from this tree can I have some?

The Seigel Street Cadre:

Sure.

Maybe money really does grow on trees? In any case I’ll be walking around Seigel Street more often.

Miss Heather

Meet Lithuania Square

December 15, 2008 ·
Filed under: Williamsburg 

Sunday was the first day in the better part of a week that the weather was not absolutely miserable so I decided to take a “short walk”. This “short walk” (It was a very beautiful day yesterday after all.) gradually evolved into a trek from Greenpoint to Flushing Avenue. Tired, I decided to take the G train home from Metropolitan. The intersection of South 2nd, Hewes Street and Union Avenue is where I found “Lithuanian Square”.

Perhaps “found” isn’t the right word. “Rediscovered” might be more appropriate. I have walked by this park on a number of occasions. This time, however, I had the time and inclination to see what this monument is about.

“Lithuanian Square” as it is called (and for the record it is shaped more like a triangle but I’m not going to argue semantics) was created in 1935 (the monument came later in 1957) to commemorate the 1933 trans-Atlantic flight of Stephen Darius and Stanley Girenas —Lithuanian immigrants both— from Floyd Bennett Field in New York City to Kaunas, Lithuania. This in and of itself seemed interesting enough (especially to yours truly who is part Lithuanian*) until I got home and did a little research. That’s when I learned this monument is in fact only half correct: Mr. Darius and Mr. Girenas did make it across the Atlantic Ocean in an aircraft they christened (patriotically, if not very imaginatively) the “Lituanica“. They did not, however, make it to Kaunas. Their airplane crashed 400 miles short of its destination in what is now Pszczelnik, Poland. They died instantly.

Despite the grim outcome of the Lituanica’s quest, the story behind it is a fascinating and uplifting (no pun intended) tale. Unlike Richard Branson, Darius’s and Girenas’s intercontinental jaunt was very much a grassroots effort. As you will learn from this article in the July 18, 1933 edition of the New York Times. LinksminkitÄ—s!

For those of you who are wondering, two years later another Lithuanian made a jaunt across the Atlantic Ocean. His name was Feliksas Vaitkus, the year of his flight was 1935 and he too did not complete his itinerary as planned: instead of making it to Kaunas, his craft crashed in Ireland. Mr. Vaitkus, however, was lucky enough to walk away. He was the sixth person to cross the Atlantic Ocean in an aircraft.

Miss Heather

*As my Polish friends here (upon seeing my surname) in Greenpoint like to remind me. No worries, they’re very nice about it. They reserve their rancor for Russians and Ukrainians.

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