A Very Special Dung of The Day

March 18, 2009 ·
Filed under: Bushwick, Dung of the Day, Maspeth, Other Shit, Queens 

(Or: Queens Crap)

weirdcrapnys

My buddy over at Queens Crap (who was kind enough to send me this lovely find) opines:

My initial reaction–sort of round, shiny pellets of roughly medium-blueberry size–is rabbit. It doesn’t look like carnivore–raccoons, et al produce something that looks like cat crap, which is something that you’re all too familiar with. It’s not goose, which looks kind of like soggy, greenish Tater Tots.

And with that sidewalk and fence shadow suggesting an urban area, the color, and my impression of size, it’s not deer.

So, rabbit leads for now.

Indeed. It looks like the Easter bunny came early over in Maspeth!*

Miss Heather

P.S.: Special thanks goes out to my buddy Crappy for sharing this find. We make a great turd tag team!

*And Bushwick too for that matter.

jellybeans

Greenwick Photos Du Jour: The Word On The Street

March 18, 2009 ·
Filed under: Bushwick, Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

kyle

Lorimer Street

haveagreatday

Norman Avenue

visa

Jewel Street

now

Meeker Avenue

yorsnys

Vandervoort Avenue

iloveyoupowersst

Powers Street

i-heart-money

Grand Street

bornrulermeadownys

Meserole Street

yo

ourheartslie

White Street

exceptusnys

no-war

Cook Street

Miss Heather

East Williamsburg Photos Du Jour: Spring Is In The Air!

March 17, 2009 ·
Filed under: Bushwick, Williamsburg 

badpiggy

Maspeth Avenue

mannequinandsaranwrap

Grand Street

buttercupfucker

Scholes Street

larryking

orangebike

free1

leprecaun

Bogart Street

killjesus

Cook Street

Miss Heather

Calling All Shittites: Contributors & Tips Wanted

mrpoopyheadthumbNow that my life has resumed some sense of normalcy (or at least as close as it gets with yours truly) I can finally get around to doing a few things I’ve been meaing to do but have gotten lost in the shuffle. Soliciting tips and contributors is foremost among these things.

Over the last few months I have increasingly come to the opinion that New York Shitty would be augmented with the addition of some other, new “voices”. Recent events (such as the untimely passing of Bob Guskind and the impending demise of the Greenpoint Courier) and my growing acceptance of the fact that I am only one person have made me realize that expanding the content on this site and providing a large forum are much more important than I had previously thought.

So here’s the deal: if you are interested in being a contributor to this site please email me at missheather (at) thatgreenpointblog (dot) com. But before closing this post I would like to make my criteria/preferences/”plan” known:

1. I do not consider New York Shitty to be exclusively a “place blog”. However, there are some geographical areas I tend to focus on more than others: Greenpoint (obviously), Williamsburg, East Williamsburg, Bushwick, southwestern Queens and to a more limited extent: Bedford Stuyvesant and the East Village. Here’s a map to give you a general idea of what/where I am talking about.

nysmap

The previous having been written I want to make it clear that I am open to material from outside this area. I simply do not want it to override the north Brooklyn-centric nature of this site.

2. What kind of content am I looking for? I’m pretty open to suggestions. One thing I would really like to have happen is feature an adoptable pet once a week. If this sounds like something you are interested in doing, let me know. Otherwise I want to make it clear what I do not want: schmaltz. If you are going to write about your children it better be fucking good. Family Circus (and its ilk) put me in a blind rage. It also goes without saying that racist, sexist, classist, anti-Semitic, homophobic material, etc.— in other words hate speech— will not be published.

3. What’s in it for me? New York Shitty is not a for profit site, therefore I cannot afford to pay you. However, plans to convert this site (along with a redesign!) are in the works. So perhaps some day compensation will be involved. For the time being, however, a little publicity and/or link love is all I can offer.

4. Please be literate.

5. Unless you have sustained a serious brain injury or have multiple personalities please refer to yourself in the first person. Which brings me to my final point…

6. Please do not be insane. The world wide web has enough crazy people posting crazed missives on it already. I have no intention of adding to this problem.

This is pretty much all I can think of. I want to leave the possibilities for this site as open as possible.

Thanks and I look forward to hearing from you.

Miss Heather

Map Image Credit: Google Maps

Williamspoint Photos Du Jour: Fire Hydrant Cavalcade

February 28, 2009 ·
Filed under: Bushwick, Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

evergreenave

Evergreen Avenue, East Williamsburg/Bushwick.

powerssthydrant

Powers Street, Williamsburg.

driggsavejacket

Driggs Avenue, Williamsburg.

hydrantwithbelvedere

Java Street, Greenpoint.

unifiedmass

India Street, Greenpoint.

Miss Heather

Divine Dog Shit Intervention: Bushwick Style

February 26, 2009 ·
Filed under: Brooklyn, Bum Shit, Bushwick, Dog Shit, Dog Shit Signage, Dung of the Day, Other Shit 

Churches give me the creeps. The tradition in many faiths is religion runs along matriarchal lines. My father is an avowed atheist, my mother was raised Methodist. My grandmother (my mother’s mother) tried to inculcate the Calvinist vision into my person.

It failed miserably. Probably because I do want to slave for a salvation I will probably not achieve. If god has already elected his own why should I bother? Besides, the Sunday School classes were downright stupid.*

In the spirit of good faith (and acknowledging the arguments set forth on both sides)— I reached a moral compromise: agnostic. But when I witnessed what I saw on George Street yesterday it made my agnosticism shudder with self-loathing Calvinistic doubt.

churchofjoy

This is the Cathedral of Joy. It may not look very joyous but it is indeed a church and its mission is to save souls…

thisisachurch

houseofthelord

and fight dog shit.

This is a church. Have some respect for the house of the Lord. Please (unintelligible) or curb your dog. Thank you.

I found two turds and a pair of pink panties in front of this establishment. Across the street was another matter.

tenturds

thirteen

Thirteen turds. One for each apostle plus one. A veritable Last Supper of dog shit (Judas Iscariot included)!

My conclusion: the fear of/hand of god is motivating dog owners to take their shit elsewhere. Unfortunately in this case it is across the street.

But it is a start!

Perhaps the City of New York will take heed of this novel tactic?

Miss Heather

*Although it could arguably be good job training for corporate shills: rote memorization and repetition. Methodism makes for good stenographers. Regurgitating what has been said accurately without the onus of knowing what it means. No disrepect to stenographers. You work harder than Methodists do.

Bushwick Photos Du Jour: The Word On The Street

February 25, 2009 ·
Filed under: Bushwick, Williamsburg 

hope1

Jefferson Street.

harrisonplace

freewelsey

mmm

Harrison Place.

loveandresistance

Boerum Street.

lookinatus2

hammertime

Bogart Street.

Miss Heather

East Williamsburg Photos Du Jour: Meet The Graham Avenue Meat

February 24, 2009 ·
Filed under: Area 51, Bum Shit, Bushwick, Dog Shit, Dung of the Day, Other Shit, Vomit, Williamsburg 

meatinside

Meat on the inside…

vomitorshitorworse

and WTF on the out.

When Mr. Heather got home from work I asked him what he thought the above-depicted thing was. He said (in his unprofessional opinion) it was vomit from a dog who had eaten sausage with a lot of red dye in it (because he has seen this happen before). All I know is whoever (or WHATEVER) discharged this (one of the most revolting things I have ever seen in New York City— and this is really saying something) should probably visit a doctor…

or an exorcist.

Miss Heather

P.S.: I puked a little inside while writing this post.

Reader Question Of The Week: Thriftless In Williamsburg

February 21, 2009 ·
Filed under: Bushwick, Williamsburg 

John writes:

Do you know where the Hasidic guy moved his glorious warehouse full of shit since leaving Driggs near McCarren? I kinda miss digging through his crap. Since that space is now full of groceries (Khim’s Millennium Market— Ed. Note), it’s not nearly as fun to sift through.

Well, I asked Larry da Junkman (all these guys know each other— I swear there’s some kind of  junk shop mafia in this city). The best he could tell me is he relocated his business in Bushwick— off either the Jefferson Street or Dekalb Avenue stop of the L.

Perhaps one of our friends to the south can pin down this location for us? If you know where this business is please share it with us via comments.

Thanks!

Miss Heather

Has Anyone Seen This Pup?

February 18, 2009 ·
Filed under: Bushwick, Crazy Cat Lady, Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

lostdog

This week I have seen no less than a dozen of these fliers: once at Morgan Avenue by the Cooper Projects, another time on South 4th Street by the BQE and lastly on Broadway at Hewes Street. If you have seen this adorable pup or know of its whereabouts please contact the owner at the above telephone number. This is little fella is clearly missed.

Thanks.

Miss Heather

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