LAST GASP: Babies Wanted

December 15, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

(for a good cause)

Ann Kansfield, the co-pastor of the Greenpoint Reformed Church, writes (in regards to my inquiry as to how Ann K 2.0 is doing):

Ak 2.0 is coming along, although I wish she’d show up in time to play Jesus in the Christmas pageant on Sunday. Maybe you could post a request saying that we are casting a baby Jesus. Applicant must be a baby. Nothing else required except showing up on Sunday at 10:30. The pageant runs from 11:00 am- noon. It’s gonna be hilarious, and very Greenpoint. Potential Jesuses (or their agents) can email me. If only our kid would have arrived sooner, she coulda been a star…

Any and all Greenpoint— or Williamsburg— babes can contact Ann via email at: kansfield (at) yahoo (dot) com. STAT.

Miss Heather

P.S.: Kids arrive when they want to. Just ask Pa Heather. I arrived exactly seven days after his desired birth date (for tax purposes). And despite being born two weeks early I have been a week late and a dollar short ever since!

Reader Tip Du Jour: Three Kings

(OR: King of Kings, King of Beers & King’s County)

Jay Lombard (of Dog Habitat) writes:

189 green St. Fire escape. Check out the aluminum tree. Gives new meaning to Christmas cheer.

Needless to say I had to investigate this matter immediately. Here’s what I found.


I realize the above image is a bit lacking in terms of quality so I will describe it to you. It is a Christmas tree lovingly erected in the honor of the King of Kings. It is constructed of 12 ounce cans of Budweiser (the King of Beers)  and topped with a bow. It is located at 189 Green Street; Greenpoint, Brooklyn U.S.A.: the County of Kings!  As a very kindly chap across the street noted as I was taking the above photographs:

Pretty cool, eh? She even taped it so it would not fall over!

An opus as this deserves recognition. I don’t care if Christmas is last week’s news. This is Greenpoint Glory at its very finest!

189 Green Street, I salute you!*

Miss Heather

*Chez Shitty is a Budweiser and Miller High Life household. Brooklyn Beer does not inhabit our fridge. The reasons for this are numerous, but I’ll tender two:

  1. The political leanings of Brooklyn Brewery’s owner, Steve Hindy. This gent is decidedly pro-Atlantic Yards.
  2. Most of “Brooklyn Beer” is not made in Brooklyn. It is made in Utica.

Mostly the first point.

New York Shitty Day Ender: So Long Holiday Weekend

December 27, 2009 ·
Filed under: 11211, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn 



From South 4 Street.

Miss Heather

New York Shitty Day Ender: Silent Night

December 25, 2009 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 






From India Street.

Miss Heather

Tis The Season: Noble Street

December 25, 2009 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 








Taken December 25, 2009.

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Photo Du Jour: Satan Claus

December 24, 2009 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 


From Moultrie Street.

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Photos Du Jour: The Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

December 18, 2009 ·
Filed under: 11222, Criminal Activity, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 


Nothing says the holiday season is in full swing in the Garden Spot of the Universe like an epidemic of “sticky fingers”. This having been stated, I have no idea what “touch your ass” means. What’s more, I don’t care to find out!

Miss Heather

Spotted on Bedford Avenue: Santa!

December 16, 2009 ·
Filed under: 11211, Advanced Life Forms, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn 


Miss Heather

Williamsburg Gentrification Watch: Biergarten Brunch With Santa!

It’s a little known fact but Mister Heather was once “Santa” at a local business in Greenpoint. Granted, he was not drunk while discharging his duties (or sported a salmon under his beard) but he needed a stiff one shortly thereafter. For this reason I find the following event, which comes courtesy of north Brooklyn’s very own Town Square, truly innovative!


BEER AND BRUNCH WITH SANTA! Per the above flier:

…What’s that sound? Is it the jingle of Santa’s bells? Guess what kids? Santa is coming to Williamsburg for a delicious brunch at Radegast Hall & Biergarten!

Brunch With Santa!
December 12, 2009; 11:00 – 1:00 p.m.
Radegast Hall & Biergarten
113 North 3 Street
Childrensburg, Brooklyn, 11211

Those of you who are interested in learning more about this event should contact Caroline at: caroline (at) townsquareinc (dot) com. NOTE: Seating is limited and high chairs are not available.

Miss Heather

P.S.: You can view to above flier in larger format by clicking here.

New York Shitty Day Starter: Alas, Saint Nick…

November 19, 2009 ·
Filed under: 11211, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn 

I knew him well.


When I encountered this, Santa Claus in a shopping cart, on Driggs Avenue I had to take a photograph of it. The porter of said building was as perplexed and amused as I was. He encouraged me to take St. Nick home. I told him taking Santa home in a shopping cart would be a schlep to Greenpoint.

Perhaps Santa’s new sleigh could be pulled by rats or stray cats?

I suggested. He laughed. And we both agreed the holidays suck.

Miss Heather

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