New York Shitty Shitter Du Jour: Cooper Park

Given the completely revolting image of a port-o-let hailing from McCarren Park (the purported crown jewel of Community Board 1’s parks) which was brought to my attention by a concerned citizen yesterday and the fact my ladybug toilet seat (part of my “No Toilet Left Behind Project”) has suffered from not-so-benign neglect, I have decided an audit of our public lavatories is in order. Today’s privy hails from Cooper Park’s comfort station which serves the wonderfully re-vamped (and heavily patronized) Carnegie Playground.

Bad News: clearly there is some room for improvement.
Good News: the second stall was a mite bit more “user friendly”.

REMINDER: Community Board 1 Joint Committee Meeting

On May 3, 2012 I wrote:

While I am vaguely on the subject, I saw a great deal activity (READ: a small army of Parks employees cleaning, “weed whacking”, etc.) this morning at Cooper Park.

Follows is a tip I received from an anonymous tipster the very next day! He/she writes:

i overheard… that a compromise has been reached.  8 bbq pits – NOT 10 – will be installed this Sunday.

While passing by Cooper Park this afternoon I noticed something different. Namely that there are eight newly installed barbecue pits…

and they appear to be a big hit! I suppose this still leaves the Union Avenue Demapping subject to debate…

Community Board 1 Joint Committee Meeting
May 7, 2012 starting at 6:30 p.m.
Community Board 1 Main Office
435 Graham Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11222

MARK YOUR CALENDARS: Community Board 1 Joint Committee Meeting

As proudly announced during last month’s OSA “minute”*, the matter of Cooper Park’s barbecue pits is one of two enticing items on next week’s agenda!

Community Board 1 Joint Committee Meeting
May 7, 2012 starting at 6:30 p.m.
Community Board 1 Main Office
435 Graham Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11222

P.S.: While I am vaguely on the subject, I saw a great deal activity (READ: a small army of Parks employees cleaning, “weed whacking”, etc.) this morning at Cooper Park.

Anyone have the 411 on what’s up?

*Which was actually 3 minutes and 36 seconds— but who’s keeping track?

From The Cooper Bark Dog Run Group: Found

This little guy (?) was found today inside of a Tupperware container at the Cooper Park Dog Run. Anyone interested in giving this chap the loving home he richly deserves should contact his good Samaritan, Kim, via Facebook.


UPDATE, September 1, 2011: I have word this pup might— just might— have a new home!

THIS WEEKEND: Cooper Bark Yard Sale

This item comes courtesy of the peeps of the Cooper Bark. This upcoming Sunday, May 2, at 10:00 a.m. they will be hosting a yard sale with all proceeds to benefit the Cooper Park Dog Run. Those of you who you have the opportunity should pop by and show your support.

Cooper Bark’s “I Do Not Have Fleas” Market
Sunday, May 2, 2010; 10:00 a.m. – 5:00 p.m.
249 Skillman Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11211

I have also have it on good intelligence that they are accepting donations of items to sell at this event. If you wish to contribute in this manner please contact Katherine at: katharine25 (at) gmail (dot) com. Thanks!

Miss Heather

A Williamspoint PSA: The Cooper Bark Calendars Are In!


Needless to say when I received word from the head honcho of the Cooper Park Dog Run that the 2010 Dogs of Cooper Bark calendars are in I simply had to pass it along here. The purchasers of this delightful and very affordable product (they’re priced at a measly $15.00 a pop!) will not only have the some of Williamspoint’s most comely canines grace their wall for an entire year, they will also be supporting a wonderful cause: a portion of the proceeds will go towards the upkeep of the Cooper Park Dog Run! In years past these calendars have provided funding for such improvements as new fencing and furniture. Why not lend ’em a hand (or would that be paw?) this year and purchase one of these calendars? They make great gifts!

Interested parties can purchase the Dogs of Cooper Bark calendar at Muddy Paws:

447 Graham Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11211

or online via paypal at:

Be sure to include your name, contact information and an additional $5.00 (making the grand total $20.00) for shipping and handling.

Miss Heather

Williamspoint Photo Du Jour: The Rules


From the women’s restroom at Cooper Park.

Miss Heather

From The New York Shitty Inbox: Faux Pas

August 27, 2009 ·
Filed under: 11211, Advanced Life Forms, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn 


This heartfelt apology was captured by Pam Pollis and forwarded to me by Rebecca11222 via an email simply entitled “Mistakes were made”. Great catch!

Miss Heather

P.S.: Oh yeah— if any of you meet a chap named Joe on Olive Street near Cooper Park you might want to keep a bucket handy.

Williamspoint Video Du Jour: Slow Down

April 8, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 


On April 6, 2009 my buddy down at Brooklyn11211 wrote (in regards to this post):

What is more wacky is why there is a sign for the Brooklyn Battery Tunnel on Metropolitan Avenue in Williamsburg.

To wit I replied:

It’s your ‘hood, dude— you tell me!

Which brings me to the above bit of signage. It is one of several such signs that some rugged individualist has seen fit to erect on Maspeth Avenue across the street from Cooper Park (which I should add is firmly located in the 11211 zip code). While the provenance of these signs is unknown the people I spoke to on this block agreed that “crazy drivers” deemed them necessary. What I wanted to know is if they work. So I took a leisurely stroll down the block to find out.

I suspect anyone who is reading this post and has the pleasure of interfacing with 311 (it’s a hit or miss affair— some operators are better than others) will agree that filing complaints in this manner seems to be a futile endeavor. This has often been my experience, anyway. But dial them anyway, take down the complaint number and forward it to your community board. Yes, this will entail some work on your part, dear readers, but I suspect we can all agree that one person— much less a child— hit by a speeding car is one too many.

Miss Heather

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