Greenpoint Represents!

June 26, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11215, 11222, BAD ASS, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

As you are reading this post the Second Annual Jello-O Mold Competition is coming to pass— where a very special entry, I understand, will be unveiled! Something so sublime its creator, Victoria, swore me to secrecy until the date and time of this competition. She writes:
Hi Heather,

The photos are attached. The competition is not till Saturday evening so please don’t post these until then. You can’t see them in these photos, but the model includes little LED lights that light up the jello eggs from behind. Its meant to look like the digester eggs lit blue at night.

I have done my best to “keep calm and wobble on” with the secret I have been entrusted to keep. But I have to be honest: it’s been damned hard. I have not even allowed the Mister to see what I am about to show you, dear readers. Here it is: a gelatinous tribute to Greenpoint’s most interesting— and curiously beloved— landmark. Yes, I am talking about none other than “The Shit Tits”.

Once I recovered from my initial fit of ecstasy at this, part of our poop plant rendered in foodstuffs, I voiced concerns that the people attending and judging this competition would not understand what has been placed in front of them. No worries, Victoria has that covered! She writes:

I did write my own little essay on why the Shit Tits are so awesome and printed out a little montage of photos of the real deal so people can see for themselves and fully appreciate my jello genius.

I will openly admit that I am more than a little biased here. But— and this is a big but— if the judges of this competition cannot appreciate the sheer genius of this (and give it the award it so richly deserves) then I don’t need them. As far as I (and I suspect a great many other Greenpointers) am concerned these bad boys are a winner. Tits down.

Miss Heather

UPDATE, June 28, 2010: I have been advised that this masterpiece did not get the grand prize. That went to some concoction involving the virgin Mary. Clearly these people have no taste.

SATURDAY: JELL-O SPRINGS ETERNAL

Another year, another Jell-o competition. What I—- and many other fellow Greenpointers, I suspect— want to know is if our very own Jello Mistress Goddess and keeper of Edie the Hamster, Victoria, will represent the Garden Spot? I suppose we’ll have to wait and find out!

JELL-O Springs Eternal
June 26, 2010 starting at 6:00 p.m.
Gowanus Studio Space
166 7th Street
Brooklyn, New York 11215

Miss Heather

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