The Viridian Blooms!

January 4, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Those of you who have read this blog know I have no affection for this development. For reasons only known to him Magic Johnson decided to fund/put his face on this, The Viridian (a fancy word for green, as in Green Street, in Greenpoint and how much “green” are you willing to outlay? $400,000 for starters.), in the name of urban renewal.

Urban renewal suggests blight. When I first moved to this block 110-130 Green Street housed businesses: a bus depot and stone worker’s shop. I can’t honestly say I liked having buses coming and going all hours of the night past my apartment. I didn’t. On the other hand I knew this came with living in an “industrial” neighborhood and with such businesses come jobs and tax revenue. Then came the rezone and shortly thereafter the Viridian.

I never experienced blight until Magic and his funky bunch moved in. Green Street has never been pretty— but it got a helluva lot uglier after Magic razed one third of it. Graffiti, garbage— LOTS OF GARBAGE, junkies shooting up and nodding off (on his illegally parked construction equipment) is what I will always remember the Viridian for. A condominium complex purported to sport such luxe accommodations as a concierge, rooftop cabanas, virtual golf, etc. A testament to progress and and urban renewal.

As of January 3, 2009 here’s what I saw:

A contextually inappropriate, shoddily built and VERY UGLY pile of crap. Let’s have a virtual auction my fellow Greenpointers. How much would you pay to rent a 500 square foot apartment in this dump? I’ll start the bidding at $500. One dollar per square foot.

Miss Heather

Word Of The Day: Jollification

January 1, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

I would imagine those of you who are reading this are probably not feeling too hot. You braved the wind last night, went out and one HELL of a good time. Perhaps a little too good. And now you are paying the price.

Before you amble off to have brunch (replete with Bloody Marys) or go back to bed, dear readers, I would like to submit for your approval the following motley crew of north Brooklyn party animals from yesteryear. Broken ribs, a dislocated shoulder (from falling off an ash dump) and a moonlit dip in the icy waters of Newtown Creek are a few of the niceties the local constabulary had to deal with on New Year’s Day 1900 per the January 2, 1900 edition of the Brooklyn Daily Eagle. Enjoy!

Maybe they were (still) distressed by the City of Brooklyn’s incorporation into New York City?

Miss Heather

Photo Credit: Heather (who will be graduating from medical school this year!).

A Little Greenpoint Trivia: 1922-2007

December 16, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

While the above graffiti (which hails from Green Street) is hardly anything new (it’s been around for just over 1 1/2 years now), in light of some asshole’s recent defacement of most them I have been behooved to finally write a post it here on New York Shitty. Any of you out there care to guess what this star shape and set of dates is referencing? I know what it is and its pretty darned neat!

Miss Heather

P.S.: For the reveal click here.

The Viridian Gets Christened

December 12, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

In light of the recent spate of vandalism on this block (just a week ago one of my neighbors, a 50-something retired couple, had their car keyed rather viciously) I cannot honestly say this surprises me. As a matter of fact I am amazed it took someone this long to “modify” this edifice. While this act does little to beautify Green Street (which is looking damned rough of late) I do have to hand it to “acre” for having the chutzpah to leave his mark by the front door.

Miss Heather

LOOKIN’ GOOD GREENPOINT!

December 10, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Not only were our very own Shit Tits given a nod by New York Magazine* as being one of the finest examples of new architecture/design in the entire city, but our fair burgh will also be the subject matter of WNYC’s** Christmas card this holiday season! How do I know this, you ask? Very simple. They sent me an email telling me so:

Congratulations – we have selected your photo to be on the holiday card this year.

We’ll send you some of them when they are printed.

A pretty spiffy shot if I say so myself! Although to be perfectly frank I would have gone with this.

Miss Heather

*Who failed to mention one of the very finest aspects of our “girls”: when it is misty at night (as it will probably be this evening) the sky above them glows blue!

**Whose first transmitter was located here, by the way. Go to the end of Greenpoint Avenue and see for yourself!

A Very Greenpoint X-Mas Present

December 4, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Last night as the Mister and I were walking down Green Street we made an interesting discovery.

Christmas came early for one lucky house on Green Street.

True to form, some miscreant was thoughtful enough to remove the plastic from this mattress. Thus enabling some very special Santa’s helpers to spread their very special brand of holiday mirth to a household near you! I’m too sure who this item belonged to, but I have a recommendation as to what to give them for Christmas. It can be found on Amazon.

The Allerzip Waterproof Bed Bug Proof Zippered Bedding Encasement. Don’t believe me? Click here and see them for yourself. Curiously enough the manufacturer does not indicate whether this item is designed to keep these creepy crawlers inside or out. I suppose they’re leaving that up to the consumer. To close on a related note, bargain hunters should be advised there are no used models for sale at this time.

Miss Heather

P.S.: While you’re shopping why not toss in a “Bugs In Bloom” bath accessory tumbler? It’s the least you can get for that special someone who has the gift that keeps on giving.

Life In Dangertown

December 2, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

On Thanksgiving Day of this year I wrote:

What constituted “Dangertown” here in 11222, you ask? I’m saving that for an extra juicy post!

Well, that time has come.

Although the above image did not accompany the following article from the July 18, 1886 edition of the Brooklyn Daily Eagle I felt it illustrated perfectly the grinding poverty that was once commonplace in the fair burgh we call home. Believe it or not this see-saw was considered plush by contemporary accounts. Greenpoint at the turn of the century was rife with crime, filth and gangs with colorful noms de guerre such as the “Dangertown Slobs”, “Jolly Four”, “Sons of Rest” and the “Undertakers”. The latter most moniker is my personal favorite, as the members purportedly called themselves as such because they completed everything they undertook —but make no mistake about it: the young Republican’s Glee Club these gentlemen most decidedly were NOT.

Two things haven’t changed over the last 124 years in Greenpoint; the watering holes are still quite plentiful and there’s plenty of hideous architecture to go around.* You can read the rest of this article about “Dangertown” (and its numerous shenanigans) by clicking here.

Miss Heather

*Karl Fischer

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