The Color Of Living Well

(Or: Reader Request Of The Week)

On Friday, April 3, 2009 Richard wrote:

I saw your blog covering all the crappy new construction going up in the city.  Could you do a follow-up post with photos that really indicate how poorly these buildings are constructed?  I want to see dented garage doors, rust, light fixtures falling off of buildings constructed within the last 10 years.  I am no longer local to NYC but I am scavenging the internet in an attempt to gather these kind of images for a project I am working on.

Thanks

I’ll be perfectly frank: ordinarily I bristle at this kind of request. I am the editrix of New York Shitty and in that capacity I determine what gets published and when. What’s more, I am lazy. However when one lives in close proximity to Greenpoint’s favorite “nondo”, The Viridian, finding suitable material for this gentleman’s project is easy enough. Hell, I can knock that out while grabbing a gallon of milk.

First off, even I have to grudgingly concede that Magic Johnson’s funky bunch have done a pretty decent job of making the facade of this building look like it was professionally built and not knocked out by Travis the Chimp. I strongly suspect the fact that I have made light of the lack of quality workmanship on this colossus on more than one occasion probably has something to do with this development. I also imagine one (or two) of their more astute marketing professionals finally deduced that having haphazard hunks of sheet metal hanging in plain view of interested clients coming and going from their sales office may not be conducive to drumming up business. I hope whoever had this startling revelation was compensated generously for his (or her) efforts. But I digress.

Although the front end of the Viridian is looking by all accounts okay (or at least as palatable as possible) nowadays I regret to inform my new friend Richard that the “back end” of this structure (located on Huron Street), well, looks like ass.

The above photograph does not do this craptastic craftsmanship justice. Therefore I decided to shoot a little live footage. Enjoy!

Thank you Richard for putting the fire under my ass to follow-up on my affection for poorly constructed crap. Not only do I think this specimen will “jibe” wonderfully with your project but it gave me some much-needed amusement. How did this come to pass, you ask? Very simple: they’re asking $2,900 a month rent for a two bedroom in this turd.

Ha.

Ha.

Ha.

Miss Heather

Photo Credit: Frontal shot of the Viridian comes courtesy of Kitchen Prof.