Greenpoint Feral Furniture Du Jour: Special Thanksgiving Edition

Thanksgiving greetings from New York Shitty!

Greenpoint Street Seating Du Jour: Street Potato

While walking around the neighborhood yesterday I happened upon this behemoth specimen. I call it the Green Street Street Spud (for obvious reasons).

Today On The Avenue: Praxis

September 14, 2019 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Street Furniture 

For months this police barricade has laid in this tree pit. Not weeks, MONTHS. Also, it has not gone unnoticed by yours truly that a chef at a nearby restaurant has taken sitting (rather perilously) on this tree pit guard during breaks. Here we have a workable solution to two problems:

  • the NYPD not picking up after themselves
  • providing this fellow a better street seating option for his work breaks

Let’s see if it works!

This post goes out to two of the most ingenious fellows I have ever met.

You are an inspiration to me to this day. Cheers!

P.S.: I am not sure what “rainbow cookies” is about but it certainly sounds nice enough. Everyone loves cookies!

New York Shitty Street Seating Du Jour: Guernsey Street Shabby Chic

September 9, 2019 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Street Furniture 

I encountered this specimen while walking home from Victoria Cambranes’s campaign kick off celebration. A fitting end to a lively day. Upon closer inspection I noticed noteworthy value-addeds in the form of:

A Freestyle compact disc
and a bottle of Visine.

Now that’s a party!

New York Shitty Pay Phone Du Jour: Al Fresco Hot Desking edition

December 10, 2015 ·
Filed under: 10009, 10012, East Village, East Village Manhattan, Street Furniture 

Al fresco office nys

Pay Phone Broadway at East 13 Street nys

Taken December 10, 2015.

New York Shitty Street Seating Du Jour: Plush & Purple

December 3, 2015 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Street Furniture 

Pink chair purple parking meter nys

Taken December 3, 2015.

Greenpoint Street Seating Du Jour: Monochrome

October 21, 2015 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Street Furniture 

Monochrome nys

From Dupont Street.

New York Shitty Street Feral Furniture Watch: Banker Street

Street Seating Banker Street 61015 nys

Taken June 10, 2015.

New York Shitty Street Seating Du Jour: Manhattan Avenue

Manhattan Avenue April 12 2015 nys

Manhattan Avenue View 2 nys

Happy Spring!

(Taken April 12, 2015.)

Urban Artifact: Wish Fulfillment!

CBS screencapSo over the last week we have had:

1. Time Warner employee sex at the Newtown Creek Nature Walk.*

2. Some blue chip public urination at Graham Avenue’s B43 bus stop thrown in for good measure

3. Indecent exposure (as seen at left) on our very Crosstown Local.

Yes, gentle readers, I’d say things are hoppin’.  So much so I lament not seeing my share of the action. Obviously I have been not at the wrong place at the right time. I shared my disappointment with my public urination tipster. To wit, he/she replied:

Awwww Heather. I just know there’s an exposed penis out there for you too. And I bet when you see it, it’ll be the longest one of all. :)

Today it finally happened— in a manner of speaking. Thankfully it did not involve lewd public acts and I actually had the choice of looking— or not. Read on!

371 Stagg Street nys

Ever had the feeling you’re being watched? Today while strolling along Stagg Street I did.

Stagg Street Art Object nys

Sure enough I was right. So help me, but I can swear this fellow was beckoning me to come closer.

Big Head nys

So I did.

Pitching a tent nys

As you can see my new friend is, to use vulgar parlance, “pitching a tent”. Let’s go in!

Little Head nys

What a piece of work is a man! How noble in reason, how infinite in faculty! In form and moving how express and admirable! In action how like an Angel! in apprehension HOW LIKE A GOD!

— William Shakespeare, emphasis mine— Ed. Note.

I can only imagine what the provenance of this item is. A remnant of some hitherto unknown bacchanalian Industrial Business Zone ritual, perhaps?

Heres looking at you kid nys

Here’s looking at you, kid…

Closing on a somewhat related note, your’s truly discovered and acquired a most fascinating product recently. I present without further ado, Peni Fresh!

The FRESHMAKER nys

soapActually I acquired a few bars— much to the amusement of the staff at said deli/grocery. One was a birthday present (said birthday boy was present), the others will be stocking stuffers. The holiday season will be upon us soon enough and let’s face facts: nothing says “Good will toward your fellow man” quite like telling them, however subtly, that they need to wash their tackle. I have yet to discern exactly what is meant by “TUTTI-FRUITTI” flavor. Methinks I’ll leave that task to Ralphie. Those of you who want to upgrade your mere dingus to a dicksicle, methinks I have found the product to make it happen. Cheers!

Peni Fresh: the Freshmaker!

*surveillance footage of which was requested by and is apparently making the rounds through the Newtown Creek Monitoring Committee!

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