From The New York Shitty Inbox: Lost On Java Street

A person we’ll call “H” writes:

Greetings Heather,

I hope this message finds you well. I’m a resident of Greenpoint, and a fan of your blog. I noticed that you’d posted some notices recently about lost-dog ads around the hood. Was wondering if you might be able to do the same for an ad I posted on my street today about a lost iPhone and set of keys (which, believe it or not, I misplaced at separate times, neither while intoxicated!). I’m pretty sure I dropped both near my house. Anyway, let me know…

Done. If you have stumbled upon either of the above-listed items please contact “H” at the above-listed telephone number. It’s the right thing to do!