From The New York Shitty Inbox: A Dispatch From The McCarren Park Pool

A person we’ll call “E” writes (in an email entitled “McCarren Pool/Hot Tip!” at 6:33 p.m.):

the pool is lovely. up until the lifeguards tried to get someone to stop doing something. lifeguard jumped in the pool. another got pushed in. fracas! punches were thrown, not too many people involved. they kicked everyone out and closed the poop an hour early. 2 squad cars and 2 unmarked cars were on the scene. alas, no photos.

Interesting/relevant fact: We used to have a Parks Enforcement Police “PEP” Officer in our district. The powers-that-be got rid of him. Happy Friday.

UPDATE, 8:33 p.m.: Here’s the 411 per 94th Precinct’s Community Affairs office:

No riot… Just a fight involving 3 people and then a lifeguard tried to intervene (and) got hit by accident (no injuries).

Thus, the person witnesses saw taken away in an ambulance was a lifeguard— and the above missive from the 94th intimates his injuries were not severe. Does this mean this incident isn’t worrisome? It is. What transpired today raises (in my opinion) a very important question:

Exactly what IS the protocol at the McCarren Park Pool for handling emergencies— be it a fight, a medical emergency, accident, etc.?

Unlike McCarren Park (or any park here, for that matter) pool users probably do not have cell phones handy to call 911 if /when an emergency arises— so who does? Thoughts/information, anyone?

P.S.: While I am fairly certain “E” meant “pool” in the third sentence, it gave me an opportunity to share one of my favorite parts of Caddyshack (and there are many). Such is one of the perks of being one’s own editor.

P.S. #2: Why is it whenever something bad happens at McCarren Park it is located in Greenpoint?

I’d really like to know.

 

New York Shitty Day Starter: Marty

October 3, 2011 ·
Filed under: 11201, Brooklyn, Cobble Hill, Cobble Hill Brooklyn 

Taken by Triborough.

From The New York Shitty Inbox: Rejection

Last week yours truly and a few friends participated in NAG’s (Neighbors Allied for Good  Growth’s) north Brooklyn Trivia fundraiser. We did so under the moniker of the UNofficial Community Board 1 Public Safety Committee Ladies Auxiliary.  Ward Dennis, who is not only a member of the Public Safety Committee but also the head honcho of NAG thought the UCB1PSCLA was a gag. I assured him it wasn’t; we have meetings, take minutes and most importantly have a logo (as seen at right).  Mr. Dennis should be thankful we did not roll with my first suggestion for a team name…

Ward Dennis’s Underpants

because we won every round, save one, emerged victorious and were really obnoxious about it.

But this post is not about winning or (sadly) Ward Dennis’s underpants. It is about rejection. One of the questions posed at NAG’s fundraiser by Mr. Dennis was (and I quote):

How many members are there on Community Board 1?

To wit, I raised my hand and requested a clarification:

The ones who actually show up or what’s stated on CB1’s web site?

This precipitated a great deal of snickering from the peanut gallery but Mr. Dennis told me the web site, e.g;  50 people. Speaking as someone who has attended said meetings I have seen 25 Community Board members at most. It’s usually less.

So you can imagine my dark delight when I learned a certain Greenpointer was rejected— once again— to be on Community Board 1 yesterday!

Here’s the punchline: the person in question submitted an application in 2005 and 2008. He was rejected and has since ceased and desisted. Borough President’s Office hasn’t— ceased and desisting sending him rejection letters. Here’s what his wife had to say about it:

Hi Heather!
Presenting (excised)’s most recent Community Board rejection. He applied twice. Once during the rezoning process and again, about 3 years ago. But the BP pumps out a reject letter for (excised) perhaps twice a year. LOL. I’m pissed though. I have another reject letter on my dresser from 2009, but (excised) can’t remember where he put the rest of his collection. I really want to save them ALL. Thanks for reminding me about this. (Excised) has been annoying me all day. So now I’ve begun to call him a CB1 reject. It’s pissing him off.

Here’s a roster of who constitutes Community Board 1 as of the writing of this post:

Exactly 49 people. Not that I— or members of CB1 for that matter— know who some of these people are. They are unidentifiable by the fact they never/rarely show up. Nonetheless, there appears to be a vacancy…

Miss Heather

 

 

 

 

 

 

Spotted On McGuinness Boulevard: Fed Up

May 25, 2011 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

Can I honestly say I am surprised by this sullen missive? No, I am not. This Greenpointers versus film crew situation has been brewing for some time. Does anyone reading this post have the scoop as to whom is behind this campaign? If so, please share via comments or email at missheather (at) thatgreenpointblog (dot) com. Your identity will remain anonymous if you so desire. Thanks!

Miss Heather

From The New York Shitty Inbox, Part III: Calyer is Clogged

December 28, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

If my inbox is any indication this would appear to be the winter of Greenpoint’s discontent. I can only hope to keep up. Nonetheless, here’s my third (and not final installment from the New York Shitty inbox wailing wall. JBG writes (regarding the above photograph):

I live on the corner of Calyer and Franklin Streets in Greenpoint. While Calyer is not an arterial, and is also not a truck route, the truth is that it plays a very important role, as it’s the first turn off from Franklin St. that connects northbound vehicles with McGuinness Blvd. There is a stalled vehicle in the middle of Calyer St., just north of Dobbin St.  No one has attended to this stuck vehicle. The plow came up Calyer St. but couldn’t get all the way through because of the vehicle. Clearly, they backed out of the street. The street from in front of the vehicle all the way up to Manhattan Ave. is also still unplowed.

I am watching vehicle after vehicle make a turn onto Calyer St., see that it is blocked, and then backing out onto the very busy and not adequately plowed Franklin St. because they realize they can’t get through Calyer St., and they also can’t turn right at Dobbin St., because that road is completely unplowed.

The one-way system in Greenpoint effectively is now shuttling everyone up Greenpoint Avenue. This, combined with the fact that Franklin St. isn’t adequately plowed, is causing traffic backups. It’s only a matter of time until there’s a terrible accident; I already watched an ambulance and a squad car back down Calyer last night because they couldn’t get through.

This street is also a critical passage way to the 94th Precinct and to the Post Office over on Meserole.

I tried calling 311 but they will not take the complaint (if you can even get through, which you can’t any more). The Mayor is on TV right now touting how many stalled cars have been removed (HAHAHA! — Ed. Note.), but yet somehow this one is being overlooked. Could you have someone look into this as soon as possible? I don’t understand how this hasn’t been attended to given the proximity of the 94th precinct, the presence of DOT this morning in the area, and repeated police cars backing down Calyer.

You can read what our City Councilman has to say per Brooklyn Heights Blog. Given that many of the snow plows that are used to clear streets hereabouts are located under the Pulaski Bridge at Clay Street*— and that I am a Greenpointer— I find the negligence here particularly inexcusable.

UPDATE, December 29, 2010: I am pleased to report this story has a happy ending! You can read it by clicking here.

Miss Heather

*A mere 15 feet away from our proposed 200 bed homeless intake center.

New York Shitty Slide Show & Videos Du Jour: Visitor’s Center Grand Opening

April 24, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Newtown Creek 

It was (and is) a beautiful day in the Garden Spot of the Universe. The sun is shining and it is a very comfortable 68 degrees. In other words, the conditions were ideal for Greenpoint’s event of the year: the opening of the Visitor’s Center for our fair Waste Treatment Plant. I awoke bright and early to prepare myself for this most auspicious occasion. My shit shirt was laundered, my camera and flip cam were fully charged. I was ready. Before I proceed to the body of this post (a slide show and ample video footage!) I’d like to tender a few thoughts:

  1. I for one was pleased that a number of neighborhood children were present to witness this moment in Garden Spot History.
  2. I applaud the DEP for providing a number of activities and souvenirs for the kids. The “Drip Patrol” badges and Commemorative Silly Putty were nothing short of inspired (And yes, I grabbed one of each for myself. I am a child at heart!).
  3. All the north Brooklyn notables were there: Joe Lentol, Steve Levin, Marty Markowitz and Diana Reyna. The latter most I had never met in person. She’s a really nice lady and had never seen the Nature Walk before. She was impressed. What’s more, she was not aware that the digester eggs (as the eggheads call them) are popularly known hereabouts as the “Shit Tits”. She found this tremendously entertaining. I like Diana.
  4. I made it known to Ms. Reyna that the digester egg lighting ceremony had cake and voiced my disappointment that this ceremony did not have cake. Now that I think about it, a number of people were rather despondent over the lack of confections.
  5. When do we get a gift shop? I want Shit Tit snow globes and I want them NOW!
  6. I was also disappointed that Vito Acconci, the artist who designed the fountain which graces our new Visitor’s Center, was unable to attend.
  7. I met one of the peeps from Polshek Partners (the blue chip brains behind the “boobs”). I brought it to his attention that the Shit Tits (as we call them) have become a point of civic pride in my community and then showed him my shirt shirt. I am pleased to report he liked it! In fact, he wanted to know how to order one. As you can imagine, I provided this chap all the information needed to make this happen!

Without further ado, here is a slide show from today’s opening. Enjoy!

Introduction

Representative Joe Lentol

Mister Brooklyn Himself: Marty Markowitz

The First Lady of North Brooklyn (or at least the 34th City Council District), Diana Reyna

Polshek Partners

Percent For Art Program

NCMC Speaks

The Money Shot

WONDER!

The wonders never cease in the Garden Spot of the Universe!

Miss Heather

  • NYS Flickr Pool

    East BroadwayClouds over the moonThe old ThunderboltCHRISTIANE F.Angulo Rojo IIStencil Graffiti ArtDumbo DropElephant Man II
  • Ads